Because I complain too much.

It has not been lost on me that I am perhaps not presenting a wholly balanced view of this thing called parenthood. That I don’t describe the good parts of Life With Henry nearly enough. That I have called my beloved baby an “asshole.”

So as penance, I shall now confess that I’m a softie for the guy, and that more often than not I have been known to get all mushy and kiss his fat little cheeks over and over until I’m positively dizzy with love. That sometimes while he’s hard at work with his Play-Doh Fun Factory I will get all goo-goo-eyed and I’ll have no choice but to ask him for a kiss, and he will shake his head NO because he is making a SNAKE or a LOG or some other POOP-SHAPED OBJECT and then I will say PLEASE I MUST HAVE A KISS and he will again say NOOO and I will sigh and say okay. And invariably he will put down the Fun Factory (which as we all know is 38 times more fun than kissing your mother) and he will declare, “I want to give you a kiss,” and he will take my face in his little hands and close his eyes and apply a soggy kiss right on my mouth and then he’ll give me a hug as a bonus, and oh my god he gives the best hugs. Then before returning to work he’ll matter-of-factly add, “I love you so much,” and it’s all I can do not to eat him.

Holy crap, how I love that asshole.

Comments

[coolbeans]

Aw. See? There's the reward. The hands-on-your-face kisses. Those are THE BEST!

And he really does have a wonderfully smooshy face for smooshing on. Can I borrow him? When he's not competing with my guy, that is?

[Mir]

I, for one, did not need this clarification after your last post, because OF COURSE you love that asshole, just like I can watch my daughter's head rotate 360 degrees and dream of fleeing to an island nation and I will still do just about anything to get that kid to smile and give me a hug. It's a given.

And I am totally leaving my children at home with a candle the next time I need a break. ;)

[kelly]

ahahahahahahahahahah!

they are so loveable the little dink-wads!

[dr. dave]

I complain about parenthood a lot in my weblog too, but I always assume my readers know I love my kids plenty, simply becuase I haven't killed them or, at the very least, kicked them out of the house yet.

dr. dave

[wix]

i can't wait for the kisses to start. cx is only 6 months old now. how much longer do i have to wait?!

[Jake]

Stop. Please. You're making my mascara run.

[lizardek]

With that photo of him right there, while I'm reading this, it's all I can do to not eat him up as well! Lucky you, for having that yummy darling to chew on any time you like.

[The Mighty Jimbo]

we all know poop is way more fun than smooches to a kid. that you are able to interupt the simulated pooping says a lot about your skills as a parent. you rule!

and ya know, i could use a few fun factories in my day. and smooches too.

[Jenny]

Oh, man. I've lived that, again and again.

I've called friends from the depths of my walk-in closet with children beating on the door chanting "mom-mee! mom-mee!" I've been awakened from a restless night with 500 kicks to the head by a sloppy smooch and sleepy "wuv you mommy."

They are amazing. And sometimes, they ARE assholes.

[The Zero Boss]

If "asshole" is the worst thing you've ever called him - shit, you're ready for induction into the parenting hall of fame!

[Bee]

My dear lil Schizophrenic Monster will wake up at the ungodly hour of 5am whilst and start singing the Barney song: "I love yoooo, you love meeee, we're a happy family..." till I HAVE to smile even though NO-ONE should wake up that early. Aah yes, God was clever when she made these lil uns!

[Heather]

If you have the "asshole", I have the "ass-ette" of the Two Year Old World. The only times I really like her right now are when we are in bed together at night and saying "Night-night. I love you!" and then we roll over and go to sleep!

[Ninotchka]

OMG No confession needed at all. But I loved the sentiment because I'm so right there with you. I can bitch and moan all day long about 2-year old tantrums and acts of violence and 8-year old attitude and smart mouth remarks but I love, adore, worship my girls. I'd throw myself in front of a truck for them FOR FUN.

I can tell you feel the same way about your little ASSHOLE. roflol We love that word and many variations we've concocted in our household. Maybe that's why I "get" you. lol

ASSHOLEASSBAGASSMUNCH

What's not to love? Keep on keeping on!

[Kel]

No need to explain any mom/dad that doesn't get it is either lying or not paying enough attention.

My own little precious butthole managed to pull himself back into grandma's good graces (after behaving like Chucky for most of the weekend) by exclaiming at the doorway of her best friend's house..."You have a beautiful house!" The two of them (my mother and her best friend) looked around to see who had just made the comment because they couldn't believe it came out of him.





Kel

[honestyrain]

was recently introduced to your blog by a friend and i'm glad. i love your writing and have enjoyed reading.

my 18m old is a screaming maniac and i wonder if her tantrums now mean there won't be any when she is 2...3...4.... ya think?

[Very Mom]

I really needed this today, now I just need to dislodge the chocolate chip I snorted into my sinus.

[heather]

You all are cracking me up. I needed this so badly today. My husband just doesn't get why I complain yet still want to stay home with my son full-time. It is an impossible job-my husband has worked double shifts five days straight so I'm alone with toddler boy 24/7-and it's impossible to think of doing anything else. I do run a small business as a pet sitter so that gets me out but I still bring my son along.

Can someone help me come up with a new way to explain to my husband that I just need a shoulder to cry on sometimes and that's all?