Here I am! Here!
November 18, 2007Desperate for something to write about today, I Googled my name, hoping beyond hope that perhaps my doppelganger Voodoo Vixen Alice Bradley (link NSFW) was up to something more exciting than I. What I found is so much more puzzling—the following New York Times article, dated September 2nd, 1903. It reads, in part:
HER MOTHER NOT ESTRANGED.
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Alice Bradley's Parent Supports Her in Suit Brought by Mrs. Quintard.STAMFORD, Conn., Sept. 2. –Homer S. Cummings, counsel for Alice Bradley, whose circus elephant was attached yesterday, denied to-day the reports that have been published to the effect that there was an estrangement between Miss Bradley and her mother. He said such reports were utterly untrue, and that Mrs. A. H. Scofield, who is Miss Bradley's mother, had stood by her daughter through all the difficulties Alice had met with…
Okay, can we back up, New York Times? What's this you say about a circus elephant? Is this a turn of phrase used in the early 20th century? "They really attached her circus elephant, if you can discern my meaning, sir"? Like that? I'm struggling to understand, New York Times. I wish you would footnote your archives.
Further research (done hurriedly, as the midnight hour approacheth) found another NYT article, this one titled ALICE BRADLEY GARNISHEED. Apparently Alice Bradley was sued for $50,000 for alienating one Charles E. Quintard's affections. Is this Mrs. Quintard's husband? Son? No one will say. Adding insult to injury, there was no mention of the circus elephant in this one.
In conclusion, why don't people these days have names like Homer S. Cummings? This is a failing of ours that I believe warrants further discussion. Finally, what's up with not hyphenating "today" any more? I think we should bring it back. I am bringing it back to-day! Who's with me?
Reader Comments (19)
I couldn't find anything else about the circus-elephant, though.
"ELEPHANT ON THE RAMPAGE. Thrusts His Tusk Through the Thigh of Circus Proprietor and Escapes to a Marsh. J. B. Goodrich, the senior partner in the Goodrich & Quintard Circus, which has been showing in North Bergen, N. J., for the last two weeks, was gored yesterday afternoon by the elephant which has been the main feature of the show. This is the circus with which Miss Alice Bradley of Stamford, Conn., who created a sensation by eloping with Quintard, is said to be connected, and for which she is said to furnish most of the money that runs it. Mr. Goodrich was passing the elephant while he was waiting to be taken into the ring, and had his back to the beast, when without warning the pachyderm reached out his trunk and, catching the man, drew him back, hurling him heavily to the ground, and jabbed him with, one of his tusks. The tusk had been sawed recently, but not capped, and the ivory was driven clean through Mr. Goodrich's left thigh, making a hole five inches across where it entered and one three inches across it emerged on the other side of the hip. The elephant instantly withdrew the tusk, and was about to stamp on Goodrich, when one of the circus employees jabbed the animal with a pitchfork and drove him away. The elephant, not shackled at the time, ran out of the grounds and to a swamp, where he disported himself for two hours before he was recaptured. The small crowd present fled- when learned -what had taken place. Mr. Goodrich was taken to the North Hudson Hospital, where the wound was dressed. The doctors fear that blood poisoning will set in,"and that's all they have.
And here's to hoping your "circus elephant" remains "unattached", Ms. Alice Bradley.
Wink, wink, say no more, say no more.
wink wink, say no more, say no more!
And, I mean, who WOULDN'T want total control of the circus? What with the obviously killer ninja elephants and whatnot.