Actually Newman-Os, but they didn't need to know that.

The other day Henry had a friend over, which means he got to oversee construction on his latest block/Lego creation while I got to sit in the next room and pretend to work. While I read blogs and told myself I had a deadline, I gradually became aware that I wasn't holding my ears shut from the child-manufactured racket. Instead of crashing and shouting, there was giggling. Quiet, conspiratorial giggling. I was afraid.

In this situation, some parents might poke their heads in to see what was going on, but me, I can't say I really wanted to have that image--whatever it was--seared into my memory. So I asked. And Henry, my innocent truth-telling five-year-old, he told me. "We're licking our feet," he said.

Ah.

I think it's indicative of how low my standards of acceptable behavior have fallen when I say that I answered, "Your own, or each other's?" When he said they were licking their own feet, I had to think about it for a minute before deciding that that was gross.

I could hear their little minds whirring (each other's feet—now there's an idea), so I lured them to me with the promise of Oreos.

Oreos: More Delicious Than Your Friend's Foot! I should have been an ad copywriter.

Comments

[Dave]

Solemates.

[BOSSY]

Dave, above: hilarious.

[The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet]

I wonder how the foot licking idea popped into their little brains in the first place?

Like, who thought of it first? Did it just come to one of them in a kind of brain fart or did it happen 'by accident', like one of them stumbled and their tongue hit their foot by mistake and they just took that idea and ran with it?

You know, this post really brings up more questions that it answers...

[Amy]

What they won't do. Is there anything?

Eewww.

[kate]

Ha! Love this story!

I share your low standards: my daughter and her cousin decided it was fun! to put marbles in their underwear. When they told me this, I simply said "Well, just don't put them in your mouth later." In retrospect, I might have put an end to it.

nah.

[jenB]

I is never too late. My current favourite slogan is "Subaru: Why Not?" Wow, what an endorsement. I bet you could do better.

[Kristabella]

Feet licking: Is better than playing with matches!

[The Mom Bomb]

I predict a spike in your blog traffic, due to foot fetishists randomly stumbling across this entry.

[stupidmommy]

Low standards are a necessity, I think. I have often let my 4- and 5-year-old boys do more than they should be allowed to do (and let's just leave it at that) in the bath tub simply because they were happy and my 2-year-old was not being harmed in the process.

I did go ballistic, however, when I opened the door to their room once to discover them peeing on each other. I mean, those same low standards don't apply when brand-new carpeting is involved.

[All Adither]

As long as they're leaving you alone, I say, lick on.

[Sarah R]

It makes one wonder how they came up with the idea that licking their feet is a grand idea in the first place?

Little boys. HA.

[Allison Heykoop]

A few weeks ago, I wrote about this very thing.....http://olive-branches.blogspot.com/2007/11/one-of-those-again.html.Must be a foot-licking epidemic going around. Weird.

[Karen Vogel]

I am so grossed out.

[mavis]

At least they weren't having a Bokonon moment.

[Twice Five Miles]

I've got my own little boy arriving in the spring. I can't wait...! Little boys are hilarious.

[Lisame]

You are officially The Mother of a Boy.

[alice]

Actually his friend was a girl. Girls are no less disgusting, it turns out.

[Krys72599]

There's a reason I'm not in marketing or in advertising - I could never have come up with a slogan for Oreos that could even compare with yours! Kudos! (Perhaps you could think of a slogan for them?!? Since we're on a snack kick here...)

[DM]

At first I thought when did Newman get his own cereal? Which means that apparently I did watch Seinfeld a lot more than I thought. And then I thought that the Newman-O's were a new building block that was trying to leap on the whole Lego thing. But fake Oreos? I've never heard of such a travesty. Who cares about the foot licking?!

Actually I'm kidding about the travesty but I am very tired because my sister's cat is trying to drive me insane. I think I would take foot licking children over Sebastian. At least they're not yowling between the hours of 10 PM and 7 AM. No. Children actually sleep.

Want to trade? Just until my sister comes back from San Diego? It'll be fun. And hey, Izzy would love the attention.

[Jake]

I've been an advertising copywriter for 17 years, and I've NEVER gotten to invoke feet in my marketing imagery. So. Not. Fair.

Finslippy: Ruining the fun for copywriters the world over.

[Manic Mommy]

Why can't they just look at each other naked like when we were kids?

[bigpikchur]

SO hilarious! This is the kind of thing I thought kids didn't think of now that there is a network dedicated to cartoons. I'm thrilled that there is still an opportunity for imagination out there! (and also, yuck!)JulesHouse of Jules

[Kat]

LOL, I do write ad copy sometimes and I just might have to borrow this to submit somewhere on April Fools day next year. Loved it.

[Mauigirl]

LOL, I couldn't lick my own feet if I tried! Just goes to show you how limber children are...

[Anne]

Makes me wonder if they were watching the cat or the dog that they got the foot licking idea.

I think licking each other's feet would be a little worse, though. Eew.