Happy camper
November 18, 2011All right! HOOOOO! Let's go! You are all my audience and I am running through the aisles high-fiving each of you! Oh my god you love this!
I returned from Camp Mighty on Monday morning, and first of all, I have in the past told everyone I know, "please remind me never to take a red-eye flight again," and then I book another one, and everyone I know says "but you said you should never take a--" and I bellow "YOU CAN'T ORDER ME AROUND MOM," and then I take it, and then I am a wreck for the remainder of the week. I don't know if it's because I am an especially delicate flower, or I'm just old. I'm sure it's both. I am an old and delicate flower. I'm like Jessica Tandy, not even if she were alive. I am the dusty corpse of Jessica Tandy. (Aw. Jessica Tandy.)
Not to mention, I had two--TWO!--readings this week, both of which were a tremendous amount of fun, but this is all too much excitement for an aging-with-age eccentric like myself.
I'm fatigued and depleted! Where is my vitality-tonic! I require liniments!
Camp Mighty was--and this was no surprise to me--amazing. Like I said before, Maggie and Laura, they are superstars. Superstars with beautiful hair and amazing hearts. I would follow them wherever they might suggest we go. Would you like me to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, Maggie? Say no more. Tether my ankle and let's do this.
There was so much fun that was had and so many friendships that were formed, but what I want to talk about is the life list. Oh, the LIFE LIST. Like some of my more skeptical camp-attending friends, I was deeply unsure about the benefits of a creating such a list. For one thing, everyone knows that when you create something called a "life list," you are reminding the Universe that you're mortal and the Universe then casts its cold infinite gaze upon you and goes "Oh, right, duh," WOMP. ("Womp" is the sound of the Universe placing events in motion that will cause you to get hit on the head with a brick while you're heading to the end of your block to purchase a Snapple.) This is common sense. Or science. It's common science.
But also, creating a life list means sharing your goofball dreams and grandiose aspirations with OTHER PEOPLE and OTHER PEOPLE will probably roll their eyes or explain why it can't be done, and in these ways they will crush your tender inside parts. This is neither common sense nor science, but in fact is my deepest held belief which might be why I should go back to therapy a lot?
I read somewhere, though, that in order to have extraordinary experiences, you have to be okay with discomfort. This has been true for me with just about everything else. I get on planes and stand in front of audiences and those things make me shaky and weak, but they're so worth it. (Of course then I need to spend a week lying down on my couch with my dog curled up next to me and multiple cups of tea, but I digress.)
I was surprised at how much discomfort I felt writing my list, honestly. But that discomfort was valuable information. I also saw how hard I am on myself, how so many items were "finally stop sucking at X" or "get over this ridiculous fear, you ninny." I had to sit and concentrate on being nicer to me before my brain would give me access to some of the more fun items on the list, or the ones that the critical parts of me would dismiss or criticize. What was that I was saying about other people? Oh, right, that's not other people. That's me. Therapy: no longer needed!
So writing it was valuable, but sharing it with strangers or near-strangers or even good friends who know me? Well. That took a level of trust and faith I'm still working on. At one point over the weekend, we split off into teams, where each member got up to discuss the five items they would commit to accomplishing in the next year. I'd like to say I chose the ones that were most important to me, but pretty much I chose the ones that would be the least embarrassing. And then other people stood up and were vulnerable and honest and I was so inspired, and I realized I need to let myself be more like them. I need to let people in a little more. I need to have more faith. Faith in people. In the universe. Also in myself.
I'm adding all of these to my life list.
Reader Comments (20)
I've never met you and I likely never will but if there was something on your life list I could help with, say learning how to isolate DNA or write a grant proposal, I would do it. Believe it.
"But also, creating a life list means sharing your goofball dreams and grandiose aspirations with OTHER PEOPLE and OTHER PEOPLE will probably roll their eyes or explain why it can't be done, and in these ways they will crush your tender inside parts."
Oh ho ho, silly you! That's not what they'll do! I'd *like* it if they ripped it apart because then if I did one tiny little thing on there, I could be all I told you so.
Instead, people would be all tender and encouraging and supportive and then ask you (me) about them over time. And then you'll have that big sword of their supportiveness hanging over you, just waiting for you to not to do the thing and terribly disappoint them or to do it not so well and make them feel so sorry for you and your silly efforts.
See, there's so many other reasons to be miserable about life lists!
I really should update my own life list. All that's on it so far is "survive the bulk of your thirties" and "never get another home perm."
Both those items have a strike-through.
Oh, should I not do this home perm...?
(Quickly running to sink)
Missed opportunity: We should have hung out at the hot tub perming each other's hair.
The whole weekend was like my introduction to therapy. With alcohol. Therapy is lovely! I should have tried it sooner.
I saw a pic of you frowning upon a pregnant alien at Holly's blog! Sounds like so much fun. And life lessons too! That's almost too much for one weekend. :)
I was inspired by Maggie to create a life list but when I sat down to make it, I found that it mostly included travel. I felt really shallow. Like I should have something about opening a school for orphans in a 3rd world country or learning to speak portuguese. I have it posted for public view but it's a bit shameful really. Another blogger wrote about doing a life list in reverse...which I thought was really fun to write. I felt so accomplished and proud....and yet like I was writing my own obituary or something.
good luck with your list. I need to add "being cool enough to attend Mighty Summit" to my life list.
Best,
Tina
Doing that thing where, with the index and middle finger of my right hand extended, and my other fingers curled into my palm, I point at both of my own eyes, then at your eyes, then back to mine, then yours, a few times. The "I'm on your wavelength" thing. We apparently shopped for our neuroses at the same store.
I can relate to the difficulty of listing things you want to accomplish. You might want to check out my blog post on listing my intentions/desires in my exploration of success. http://unmappedcountry.blogspot.com/2011/11/navel-gazing-to-find-success.html
I have been putting off writing a life list and even wrote a post once about how I was just simply too evolved to do that and, well, this post was fabulous and I might have changed my mind.
Maybe.
I was mildly embarrassed when I realized I'd picked things I could get through without crying and everyone else went and was so sweet and inspirational and kind to each other. It was disarming. So wonderful. Great to meet you!
I want to star this post a million times and make myself read it daily. I bet I can make that happen w a Google calendar reminder... Anyway, I am way more comfortable being comfortable than I am throwing caution to the wind for my own pleasure. If someone else is in charge, condoning it I'm an eager participant and contributor, but I'm too insecure to initiate things. Even deciding that I should get a pedicure is anxiety provoking...
It sounds like you got a lot from the camp, Alice. And I think a life list is a brilliant idea. I did something from my personal life list this year which was tracking the mountain gorillas in Uganda - incredible.
Anyhow, I do think you make an important point when you say that in order to have extraordinary experiences, you have to be okay with discomfort. I'm a firm believer in that idea. Pushing your comfort zone is the only way to take your life in directions that will make it full of wonder.
I had the same experience. I chose 5 things that were easy to share...I didn't realize that until I listened to everyone else. Tears were flowing and all I could think was..."why couldn't I have been more brave? What's wrong with me?"
It was an extrememly valuable experience. And next time? I will be brave.
a
Alice, I was so happy to meet you! I told your wooden hanger story to my whole family last weekend, and it started one of those hilarious "most embarrassing moment" conversations in which my mom admitted that she had been walking down the hallway at work that same day, talking to people (including a group of firefighters--she works at a technical college), before she realized that both lenses had fallen out of her sunglasses.
Anyway, spending time with you was a highlight of my camp experience. Thanks for letting me in.
P.S. I hope that guy with the nice calves at your gym starts talking to you. Because you deserve to be acknowledged. Seriously. Geez.
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