Oh dear, she's writing about dogs again.

Yesterday, an adorable yet filthy dog was wandering around my street. I did what any concerned citizen would do: I threw rocks at it. A ha ha ha! I did not throw rocks at it. Actually I was running out the door (with the cat, who was so overdue for shots she was fashioning syringes for herself out of drinking straws), so I drove away, feeling guilty that I wasn't saving this adorable and incredibly disgusting dog, this dog who would probably be run over by a garbage truck and it would be all my fault.

I can be a little hard on myself.

Anyhoo (I say "anyhoo" now), got back from the vet, looked around for the dog, no dog. Maybe said dog had been returned to safety? I wanted to think so. So I did! Problem solved.

Many hours later, I was leaving to pick up Henry, and there was the dog. Sniffing bushes, doing what dogs do. My neighbor Jen was outside with her daughter, and Jen was eyeing the dog, no doubt wondering whom he would eat first. I joined them.

It turns out Jen had just murdered a snake (she claimed she had no choice, but I had my doubts) and she looked shaken up. She was still holding the shovel. And glaring at the dog. "STOP KILLING ANIMALS," I shouted. (No, no. The snake was a mercy killing. She's not like that. I think.) As the dog investigated the sidewalk, Jen's daughter declared, "I can see her nursies!" What do you know! It was a she! A mangy she!

I tried to walk away, but the dog! She followed me! And wagged her encrusted tail! She nosed my leg like she wanted me to pet her, but I can not overstate just how unclean she was. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave her, as I have a heart of gold. I walked back to my house. And she walked with me. I opened my back gate, and she trotted right in. And after picking up Henry, I called Animal Control. A lovely representative of said department showed up within minutes. He told me that the dog, after being cleaned up and taken care of, would be transferred to a shelter. "She's a sweetheart, and if you kill her I will hunt you down," I said. No I didn't. The dog tried to get me to pet her once before she hopped into the van. I patted her. She didn't feel as awful as she looked.

My neighbor said, "I have never seen Animal Control show up that quickly," and I said, "Maybe it's because I asked them nicely and didn't threaten them with a shovel."

That is my story. The End.

Comments

[braine]

That was a noble thing you did. More important, though, why did your bloodthirsty neighbor kill a snake? Especially with such responsive Animal Control people around? Or was her post-killing comment about how slow they USUALLY are her way of saying "had I but known, I need not have killed"?

[Rivetergirl]

Never underestimate the power of a threatening shovel.

Oh and good for you and your good doggie deed.

[alice]

I believe she wondered aloud why she hadn't just called AC about the snake, yes. But I think she wanted to satisfy her bloodlust.

[Angela]

That snake thing was a total lie. Your friend was going to beat the hell out of that poor dog! With a shovel! (I'd keep an eye on her.)

[jon deal]

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who has begun to say "anyhoo."

Yep, said it just today in my NaBloPoMo post thing. I was thinking I maybe I should be embarrassed about that, but now I shall wear that badge proudly since "hey, if Alice says it, it's got to be cool and OK, right?"

[Jenny]

I have called animal control on wild animals before, and they told me they just do stray dogs and cats, and if I had something else I would have to call a wildlife specialist. I am not even kidding. But this was in California. I called about a poor baby half dead opossum in my backyard (probably fell out of a tree). I can only imagine what they would say to snakes.

[Jamie]

I'm so glad I'm not alone in the "anyhoo" category. I thought I was really strange.

Good for you getting the doggy to the right people.

[Joe]

Jo Jo like nursiesJo Jo no like snakes

http://joeprose.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/09/having_just_wha.html

[Twice Five Miles]

But now I am worried about the dog at the shelter! Will she be euthanized? Such a sweet dog?

[alice]

The guy said she wouldn't unless she was really unwell.

[Twice Five Miles]

Oh, thank god for that. I hope she finds a good home right away.

[Barbara]

Would you have kept the dog if she smelled like Joel Grey? I'd like to think so.

[superblondgirl]

Woah. Maybe you should move. Or else be sure to ALWAYS LOCK YOUR DOORS. Because creepy murderous neighbors with shovels?? We have to watch out for them.

[Leaf, probably...]

Why call Animal Control? I would have given her a bath and fallen in love... probably even before the bath.

That could be because I'm so desperate for a dog or a cat that my flatmates all run interference when I meet a new stray.

[alice]

Oh, Leaf, my husband would have killed me. Believe me, I thought it.

And my neighbor is not creepy! I swear! Hi Jen!

[Kizz]

I don't know if you're still looking for benefits to having moved from Brooklyn but see? In NJ you call animal control and a. they come quickly and b. the dog can go with them and not be euthanized. In Brooklyn she'd have a week at CACC, tops, so you would have been FORCED to keep her. :)

[All Adither]

I just started saying "Anyhoo" too. And I'm not the type.

[Cole]

This post made me smile. Just wanted you to know.

[S-Way]

Yeah, but Kizz, if she'd called animal control in Brooklyn she would've gotten to meet the brave heroes from TV's Animal Precinct. Go animal cops!

[babelbabe]

You are a good person.

I however am the sort of person who kills snakes with shovels. Your neighbor and I could have coffee together and gaze longingly at your other friends and their stray dogs and adorable children.

[Mauigirl]

I can vouch that Jen is not truly a bloodthirsty snake-killer under ordinary circumstances. Perhaps said snake was getting too close to one of her children.

Hopefully the dog will be fine. Usually they do keep the dogs if they are healthy and try to adopt them out.

[Em]

Dude (may I call you dude?)! I had an encounter with a mangy looking dog this week too! 'Encounter' may be too strong a word, so might 'dog', as when I got closer (in my car) I realized it was a coyote. Sadly, the next lady did not realize this. She felt bad for the "doggie", got a rope out of her car, caught him, and put him in the back, I assume to take him to a shelter or back to grandmother's house. I should have said something. Lo my heart is not of gold. I just couldn't believe my eyes and by the time it was all checked and rechecked in my brain that yes, this just happened, she was gone.

So maybe what you had rescued was a wolf or a coyote or a fox or a sheep dressed as a wolf (it goes both ways, right?). You may have saved the whole neighborhood! You should have a parade.

[Lacey Jane]

I am thinking (because everyone should care- really) that the snake probably was causing harm. I like to think that snakes cause harm because in my professional opinion, snakes are ewwy (a word that really should be in the dictionary), and if there was one in my front yard, I would kill it via piercing scream. Eh.

But I am glad they won't kill the sweet dog. I miss suburbia.

[Sue]

For a while, my husband and I rescued dogs. We would go to the kill shelter, find a stray dog and adopt him. And then a few weeks later we would realize that we must have been out of our freaking minds because we hate dogs. Having them anyway. So we would take him to the no-kill shelter. Voila! Dog rescued.

Yes, I know this is irresponsible. Shut up.

[witchypoo]

I laughed really hard at your description of how overdue the cat was for the vet visit.I'm slightly fascinated by snakes. You don't have poisonous snakes where you live, do you?Because I would so want to see my feet at all times where snakes hang out.