She may have a point.

Finslippy = totally, totally overrated. She doesn't post much, and when she does, it's just about how crazy she is. --comment from a message board.

April 24, 2009

Dear Internet, today someone sent me the above commentary. Thanks for that! Something about me seems to shout to readers, "Let her know how much she is disliked! She needs to hear it!" Actually this particular comment didn't bother me much, because whenever anyone says I'm overrated, it means plenty of other people think well of me, so whatever. Who cares if one person dares to rebel against the masses who mindlessly follow my every word? Kudos, I say. You keep thinking for yourself.

I'd write more about that whole "crazy" nonsense, but my congressional representative and Marlo Thomas are RIGHT NOW scanning my hard drive, which they've accessed via the crawlspace above my closet. I can feel them in there. "Free to be you and me," my ass.

June 3, 2009

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but it's so tough with Keith Olbermann living in my spleen. Plus do you know how uncomfortable that is? He's bigger than he appears on my television. I have no idea how he magicked himself out of the set and finagled his way into my organs, but there he is, and he's not coming out until it's Countdown time.

December 35, 2009

Oh, the despair. The agony of breakfast. My child just smiled at me. Or was it a sneer? I try to eat cereal, but how can I when this spoon hurts my very soul? Its concave reflection mocks me. Why, Internet? Why?

April 4.2 2010

You know what! If I scrub my walls really hard the bad feelings go away! ALSO: ONLINE GAMBLING IS GOING TO FIX EVERYTHING. I figured this out just in time for my big shopping spree. I'm sorry about all that identity theft, by the way. I'll make it up to you when I'm a quabillionaire!

August something, the year of the Coming Eternal Nightfall

Hey, would you guys mind donating to my PayPal account? I urgently need 53,962 500-foot-long rolls of aluminum foil. I'll tell you why later, but it will probably be too late.

Slorkester 44, the year of Ba'aaalalal

They have provided me and only me with Internet access, because I had the foil. The rest of you can only roam the desolate nightscape, crying out for WiFi. All posts from now on will be invisible, unless you are pure of heart. (Don't even try, Marlo. Don't even try.)

Sla-k'orsk!

Comments

[LPC]

I can't be ironic here. You are brilliant and you make me laugh and enjoy laughing.

[Marla]

Yeah. She just might be right, but heck... you're pretty entertaining too.

[Danabug]

Ha! Very funny! Thanks for the heads up on tin foil...

[CAD]

lurker here... i just keep reading 'coz you keep being amusing. and you keep taking breaths between posts 'coz you have a life to live and all that. crazy how that works. carry on as usual, the gang's all here.

[cartoongoddess]

Hi. I am one of the masses who mindlessly follows your every word. I love your blog. It's wonderful and your writing (on any subject) is a joy to read. Please keep writing.

Sla-k'orsk!

[May]

"Slorkester 44"? :o)))))

[Annika]

I'm not seeing the crazy. Is it in your hard drive too?

[Marinka]

That message board comment reminds me of that old joke, "the food is terrible! and such small portions!"

[MamaCass]

I sure hope that person is reading your blog. You are funny. That's the point. No matter the story you write. Good luck with the foil.

[alice]

Marinka, I thought of that, too!

[Ariel]

How in the hell did I miss the crazy all this time?P.S. You forgot the part where we all crowned you queen!

[Shnerfle]

You cannot be overrated. Not with the foresight to purchase sufficient foil and the wisdom to use the universally acknowledged closing of the consortium!

Sla-k'orsk!

[MotherProof]

That's hilarious! Another great post!

[alexis]

i lurve your blog. and am heading out to buy foil. now, actually (thanks for the tip).

[kt]

best laugh i've had all day - thank you!!

[Becky]

I am actually LOLing. And other letters.

Happy Slorkester Eve!

[Kirsty]

Oh to be as "overrated" as you are :D Truly, I have never been let down by a post from you, delicious reading, and lots of flavour variety. Good luck with the insanity, I hear it's all in vogue. You little trend-setter, you.

[Molly Chase]

The foil doesn't work that well, by the way. You're better off with an aluminum colander, an old set of those "rabbit ears" television antennas, lots and lots of duct tape, and an orange.

The orange is so you have someone to talk to, by the way. It doesn't have to be part of the hat. I mean, it can be, but...whatever works for you.

[beyond]

hilarious. just keep 'em coming. whenever you feel like it.Sla-k'orsk!

[Emily]

I don't care how often you write... I think you're hilarious and I'll keep coming back to your blog for more! :)

[Susie]

SNORT. You are brilliant and you can have all of my tin foil. You so deserve it.

[Marlo Thomas]

Well done, Alice. Will you let me out of the crawl space now, please?

[alice]

No.

[Tricina]

Man, it's Slorkester time AGAIN? Where does the time go?

[Meg]

You're fabulous. And completely hilarious, craziness and all. P.S. Good luck with the foil. I have ALL of it already.