It appears that, as the toddler grows, the endearing behaviors must increase in direct proportion to the less-than-charming tendencies. If the toddler failed to kick his/her cuteness into high gear, one would simply leave the toddler on the side of the road, and skip away merrily, singing a little song to oneself, tra la.
So, for instance, we begin the day with the following uncuteness:
Henry decides he hates my breakfast, which happened to be a crumpet covered in almond butter. My crumpet! My breakfast-y delight, all my own, which was not bothering him one bit! He lunges at my plate and slaps at the sticky almond buttered top until the entire crumpet attaches itself to his hand, and then runs shrieking toward the dog, who is only too happy to help him out, crumpet-wise.
It was my last crumpet. I wanted that crumpet. Ever had a crumpet? They're good.
But before I can kick him to the curb, the above is canceled out by the extreme adorability of the following:
We run into Henry’s girlfriend E. (and yes, I mean girlfriend—I watch him running his fingers through her hair and covering her face in kisses and I want to either get them married NOW or lock him up until he’s 16) and her mother on the street; as we adults discuss our plans to escape someday to a Land Where No One Attacks Breakfasts, Henry takes E.’s hand and the two of them toddle down the street hand in hand, grinning. Then Henry turns to her and says, “Beautiful day.”
Can one abandon such a child on the street? It appears that one cannot. Once again the toddler wins.
Has it ever occurred to you that when a young man is with his girlfriend, he wants his mother to leave him at the curbside? For just a few minutes? A little privacy, please? *eyeroll*
Posted by: jilbur | August 25, 2004 at 02:53 PM
Too fricking cute!!! Kids are made cute for a reason, you're right about that!
Posted by: Sierra | August 25, 2004 at 06:16 PM
mmmmmm...crumpet. I bet he would have liked it if *she* gave it to him. Too cute.
Posted by: gussiegoose | August 25, 2004 at 06:28 PM
I'm sure Henry has his reasons...Besides, is cuteness not a wholly perspectival thing? The dog thought he was awful cute and probably is paying him on the side.
Posted by: Miel | August 25, 2004 at 09:22 PM
One of the earliest lessons all of my kids learned was Don't Mess With Mama's Food! I distinctly remember when my oldest was about six weeks old the first time I uttered, "Not now, Mama's eating!"
And yeah, they always seem to know how to kick in the cute quotient just in the nick of time before they get left on the side of the road . . . :)
Posted by: Anne-Whitney | August 25, 2004 at 09:52 PM
Dear Henry, I love you! Gah. That kind of romanticism is soo lacking today. I don't think my husband has ever been that romantic. He needs lessons from your Henry, obviously!
Posted by: Jen P | August 25, 2004 at 10:33 PM
And don't think that Henry--and others of the toddler ilk--don't know when they're engaging the cute function. They know ... oh, they surely know.
Posted by: robert | August 25, 2004 at 10:47 PM
total "aww moment". but now i am massively craving a crumpet!
Posted by: jenB | August 26, 2004 at 03:33 AM
Damn those toddlers and their cuteness bludgeons! *thud!*
Posted by: lizardek | August 26, 2004 at 03:43 AM
LOLing and AWWWing at the same time. Yup, but what happens when even the toddler cutsies go away? You should see teenagers trying to balance out the evil and good. *rolls eyes*
Posted by: AGK | August 26, 2004 at 08:08 AM
My 5 year old daughter finds herself on the receiving end of boys like that far too often. And yet she remains non-plussed. We were watching a relay race on the Olympics last week, and she said - "We had a relay race at preschool once. Billy was my partner. Because he's obsessed with me, apparently."
Poor Billy doesn't know what he's up against.
dr. dave
Posted by: dr. dave | August 26, 2004 at 09:43 AM
That's adorable. He's a charmer already ;)
Posted by: Jules | August 26, 2004 at 02:06 PM
Hi Alice! It was lovely to meet you and Henry today, even though my charms were not as charming as his, as he strongly rejected me. But his girlfriend was right there, so maybe he didn't want to make her feel like there was competition. In which case, I applaud his gentlemanly qualities, as do the rest of your readers, it appears.
cheerio!
Posted by: Lis | August 26, 2004 at 09:11 PM
mmmm crumpets. with butter and jam.
Posted by: domin8trix | August 27, 2004 at 01:07 AM
I am hysterical here - great Blog. I am a new reader and love your writing. You have me laughing out loud. :)
Posted by: Lori | August 27, 2004 at 11:13 AM
How well I know that schizo-ness that is a toddler. My dear lil one demonstrates it ALL the time. Love reading your blog btw - your writing is hilarious!
Posted by: Bee | August 27, 2004 at 01:53 PM
When my daughter, now 6, was still 4, we ran into a (male) day-care classmate of hers at a pizza restaurant and squeezed all six of us into a booth for dinner. A fine evening ensued, capped by the boy's earnest proposal of marriage to my daughter, to which she equally earnestly responded, "If you won't be silly, I will!"
Which is, I think, a pretty useful response to a marriage proposal at any age.
Posted by: Lex | September 09, 2004 at 02:06 PM