And now: we dance.

So I more or less blew off the Internet for a few days; the Internet kept calling but I was checking my caller ID and letting the machine pick up, and then Husband says to me, “You have some comments you might want to read,” and I’m all, “What, did my mom write something?,” and he’s like, “Um, no, some other people,” and then I read the comments and I cry a little and I tell my husband how much you all rock and then the Internet calls and says “Come back to me, baby,” and so here I am!

We’re indoors almost all the time these days GOD HELP US WHEN WILL IT BE SPRING which means we’re listening to a lot of music ANYTHING TO BREAK THE AWFUL, AWFUL SILENCE and Henry is forming some strong opinions IF I DON’T PLAY THE ONES HE LIKES OH GOD THE SCREAMING. Here, in no particular order, are some of his favorites.

“First of the Gang to Die,” Morrissey

Henry: First to die! First to die!

Me: I'm enjoying Morrissey’s latest album, not least of which because it’s Swiffering my brain clean of my old Morrissey associations—the hours spent listening to The Queen is Dead in the Wendy’s parking lot, staring mournfully into the distance and pondering the bleakness of my future. That said, it’s a little unnerving to listen to your two-year-old shrieking “First to die!” while leaping about in glee.

“New Slang,” The Shins

Henry: It’s the ice cream song.

Me: I’m not sure why he calls this the ice cream song, as it sounds nothing like Turkey in the Straw, or as it’s better known, “Do Your Boobs Hang Low.” (Or balls! It works both ways! That’s why it’s a classic.) Or what's that other brain-searing plinkety-plink song? It’s difficult to recall anything about ice-cream trucks when you’re buried beneath a foot of snow. Did we enjoy this "ice cream"? Were we warm, back then? Did we not wear heavy boots?

“Chimbley Sweep,” The Decemberists

Henry: [standing, transfixed, in front of the stereo] That’s good. Again. Again. Again.

Me: Apparently Henry strongly identifies with the “poor and wretched boy” of this song. Or he dreams of being an orphan. While I like the album, this song isn’t my favorite. Especially when you have to play it over and over. And over. And what the hell’s a chimbley?

“The Art of Noise,” Cee-lo Green

Henry: [Is too busy frantically boogying about the room to issue a comment.]

Me: Damn. I didn’t know anything about this here Cee-lo until my very cool brother (who owns the very cool Sound Fix) gave me a mix that included this song. I could go on at great length about this song’s joyfulness and booty-shaking-osity, but really you just need to hear it and, you know, get your freak on and so forth.

“Oh What a World,” Rufus Wainwright

Henry: [looking highly suspicious] Opera. Nooo.

Me: Okay, so this isn’t exactly one of Henry’s favorites. And Rufus is getting all operatic on our asses, it’s true. You could kind of see it coming, if you paid even a little bit of attention to his previous albums. For the record, I paid a lot of attention to Mr. Wainwright’s previous albums, as I believe that he is not only a wondrous musician but also a dreamy dreamboat. And if he ever, say, needed to crash somewhere for a few days, he could totally stay here and I would make him cocoa and brush his hair and supply him with all the heroin he requested. Or if he’s not into that anymore, that would be totally okay! More cocoa, then!

Comments

[JenAtHome]

Thank god you're back. We missed you.

[emjaybee]

So glad you're back! But Rufus will be staying at MY house, which gives him time to rethink his preference for boys in the face of my overwhelming love. I'll let you know how that goes...

[Mrs. Kennedy]

I believe the Grinch escaped very nimbly up the chimbley. If that helps.

[Psycho Kitty]

Hi! Hi again, hi!
Hey, did I mention--HI!
Glad you didn't give up on the Internet.

[-Blue]

She's back! She's back!

*swoons*

Oh, and thanks a bunch ... I'll be singing "do your boobs hang low" ALL BLOODY DAY thanks to you!

-Blue (the Thirfty Mom blog)

[ChickenFlicken]

YAY!!!!!

I hope that posting that felt like kicking the foul bastards that made you angry right in the old nutsack. That's how reading it felt for me, a swift boot right to the balls! Kick 'em again!!

Yep, I'm a mother of three. ;) Nice mouth, huh?

[denise]

i am so glad you did not cave in to the ultra-nutzist-oids (hhm can i use a made-up word?) that are slowly but surely taking over our fine coutry. LOVE your posts. I raised 3 kids of my own, thru scanarios much like the ones you are living, and they all turned out to be fine moral self-supporting members of society. Kids are HYSTERICAL, endlessly entertaining little monsters, and if everyone would just relax and understand that, we'd all get by fine. There's too much of the "self-esteem" anxieties, and worry about getting everything perfect in today's parenting,as far as i can see. stay the course! you are a bright light in the gathering dusk.

[frecklegirl]

I am so glad to see you writing still. It felt good to me to read all those comments to your post (I almost made it through the hundreds of them!!)

I agree with Henry, the Decemberists and the Shins rock! My guy and I almost got to see Colin yesterday but the show was postponed because of the blizzard...

I love your blog and am so glad you are pushing on through! Mean people do suck. I almost loose it sometimes when I am reading your posts- you spread joy, you really do.

[Annie]

Welcome back!

I feel like boogeying (that word looks and sounds gross. Like boogers.) around the room m'self.

Hooray for finslippy!

[Erica]

Cocoa for everyone! Finslippy's back!

Our current preschool favorite is Elvis Costello's Less Than Zero. Hey. Ooo hey.

[Little Grad Student]

Glad that you are back!

[Bitter Betty]

I so knew you were screening! Glad you're back. Hi Henry!

[Jen]

P-Funk, yes, good old George Clinton, is my child's favorite CD. She gets busy and declares "I'm shaking my tail feathers" as she jolts and writhers her way around the room. My two year old has also mastered the art of the thoughtful head nod to those real deep pieces.

[bee]

SOOOOO happy you are back! That was quite a scare.

I don't have any kids yet, but I can only hope mine turn out as indie-cool as Henry!

[Cagey]

Yeah! Glad you didn't let the bastages win!

[victoria]

Glad you're back.

[mama]

another unexpected toddler favorite: hotel yorba ~ the white stripes. i know a kid who could listen to it all night long.

[Pixie]

Thanks for that link - both my 8 & 2 year old boys love that song! The video is even better!

[maurinsky]

I got to see Rufus last summer (I remember summer, and weep icy tears into my cold, cold hands). He was wearing some divine sparkly flip-flops, and he was just lovely, speaking to the entire audience as if we were chums sitting down for tea.

I haven't had toddlers for 5 years, but my last toddler, who is now nearly 8, is mad for Nellie McKay.

[jilbur]

my first-grader's fave is still Lucinda Williams, Car Wheels On A Gravel Road. She is quite oblivious to the meaning of any of the lyrics and will hum blithely along with e.g. "Drunken Angel" ... I remember that she also was very fond of the Kinks' "Tired of Waiting."

[fat dude]

hey, congrats on officially winning 2nd place in the BoB's. I know we've had our ups and downs, but I still think you're funny.

p.s. don't tell any of my moronic friends that I said that though.

p.p.s. I still don't know what a finslippy is.

Cheers and good luck with the blog.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

I could listen to Rufus all day long. yeah yeah, we're on a first name basis.

[melhope]

Woo hoo!! She's back!! Take that, you perverted slimeballs!!

Speaking of perverted, Henry singing "First to die!!" reminds me of this guy I once knew who could do a dead on Elmo impression.

He would do Elmo singing Alanis Morrisette songs.

Perverted AND funny! Now that takes some skill.

[ensie]

We were worried about you! Glad you're back. :)

[Sarah]

Thank you for coming back. Don't let the meanies scare you off the playground.
Sarah

[Michelle]

OH! You're back! You're back! Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

Ok, this is getting creepy. I promise I'm not a stalker. Much.

[e]

welcome home :-)

[Very Mom]

Hooray, hoorah! I'm consistently amazed at how utterly handicapped in the head people can be. No offense to anybody who really is, you know? But I for one have had the funny knocked right out of me because of stupid, stupid, stupid people plagued with brain eating microbes.

Sad, isn't it, that the microbes can't eat off their fingers instead? They might think twice if they had to type their idiot comments with their NOSES.

[fred]

THANK GOD YOU ARE BACK!

I'm so glad you are back - really. You are one of the few things that help me start my day.

Yay!!!!!!!!!

[megan]

This is my first time reading your website. Beth over at Crazy Us mentioned your post about hate mail in her own post about hate mail.

Personally, I find you to be clever and amusing and I would think most parents could relate to you as I do.

I just wanted to relay to you how sorry am I that someone would write something as awful as harm coming to your child. (I can not even repeat the words as they are so sick.) I hope you keep up your website and don't let these psycho strangers get to you. Please remember that they're the ones with the problems. Think of yourself as a celebrity - I once saw an interview with Brad Pitt who said that Julia Roberts gave him the best advice ever when it came to the press "Look at the pictures, if you must, but don't read a single word."

Good luck to you and I look forward to becoming a regular reader! :)

[w!xlet the hick]

my gramma pronounced it "chimbley". no shit.

[Tricia]

Do your boobs hang low, do they wabble to and fro...
can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow...
can you throw them o'r your shoulder like a
continental soldier
do yoooouuurr boooooooobs haaaaannnnngg loooowwwww????

I haven't had that song in my head for almost 15 years.
CRAP

Glad you are back.

[KellyH]

I do a great impression of Elmer Fudd singing Nine Inch Nails.

[Lisa]

So much hipper than I am.

My kids listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Elvis Costello .

[cursingmama]

I love the way kids take to certain songs. My kids are old enough now to know that I'm very uncool when it comes to music, but in younger days they had my back. My son was a particular fan of Shania Twain, and her hit "whose bed have your boots been under". Although he didn't have the name quite right, I think he got the message "Happy Boots Bed".
Glad your back - don't let the haters get you down, there are a lot more lovers out here.

[groovebunny]

Glad to see you back! And wonderful comeback entry as well. Music feeds the soul. :)

[Rebecca]

Hi I am a new reader too, don't know how I found you though, through someone's link I imagine, and let me say that any fan of Rufus is a friend of mine. I loooove the man (though of course marriage is out of the question since I'm a girl and all), listened to want one everyday this past summer and was so excited for want two. Someday I'll see him in concert. Anyway...I subscribe to you via bloglines now, so I'll be back for more. :)

[Lioness]

Welcome back. Rufus is bril - and so are you.

[Coralie]

Yeah!

Welcome back- and thanks for the tunes.

[Angelia]

OH YAY YOUR BACK! WOOHOOO LET THE PARTY BEGIN!

[elswhere]

Cheers! More cocoa, indeed! And more dancing for joy that you're back!

p.s. I find that your fellow Brooklynites, Mssrs. Flansburgh and Linell, make for fine dancing-around-the-living-room music. Not just their kids' songs, either.

[cristin]

de-lurking just to say welcome back!

[karyn]

My favourite moment was my husband explaining to my then 2 year old daughter that James' lyrics "she only comes when she's on top" meant that "she would only come over for a sleepover if she got the top bunk bed."

Now she is 3 and shakles her tiny booty to "Orange Crush" by R.E.M. No Barney in THIS house, by God.

Glad you're back.

[Quine]

Delurking to say thank goodness you're back.
Hold your head high (and your boobs low, obviously.

[FrumDad]

Can't believe I missed the ruckus. Add my voice to the "don't go!" and "those individuals [who I'm thinking are people who commented more-than-obnoxiously to a post that's been since taken down but must have involved Henry's penis or something] are big giant doody-heads!" and "don't go" chorus.

And now to the "welcome back" and "phew!" chorus as well.

--FD

[Mary]

yer post made my day

[dish]

I concur with Henry-

Opera. Nooooooo. :-)

[JPinNC]

My 3 year old son. In the grocery cart. With his pacifier IN his mouth sang "Carmalita...hold me tighter...'cause I think I'm sinking down. And I'm all strung out on heroin, on the outskirts of town" I think the lady down the aisle understood every word, even with the pacifier - and she didn't seem to be a Warren Zevon fan.
He can still sing entire songs after hearing them once. It makes a mother proud.
"New Slang" - ice cream song - it does sound like that. Henry...he's brilliant.

[miep]

i like the fact that the Decembrists allude to and quote Dylan Thomas. I also like the fact that seeing "Under Milkwood" this winter enlightened me as to the meaning of the lyrics -- Nogood Boyo does, in fact, fish out a whalebone corset from the sloe-black, slow black sea.

[LOD]

Are any of those songs about fucking?