finslippy: The two-year-old: Complicated. Lovable. But most of all, psychotic.

Comments

OMG - our toddlers were separated at birth! I'm going through the post thinking "yeah, mine does that, yeah, that too..." and then you wrote "Ookay... DON'T SAY OKAY" and I thought - hey! - that's my kid who does that!!

haha!! LOL

Posted by: megan | January 28, 2005 at 04:49 PM

Henry is totally channeling my son, Zack. Is it some kind of conspiracy?

Posted by: Gen | January 28, 2005 at 05:21 PM

So, Mom, did you lay (lie?) down after this latest episode? LOL!

The *two's* are SO hard...except when they're not (which isn't very often). Cherish those 'soft' times, and keep the faith. They do grow out of it...until the teen years.

LOVE your blog. Thanks for the daily chuckles.

Posted by: lorrian | January 28, 2005 at 05:23 PM

Too funny...too scary. My 16 month old does this already, just with fuzzier "words" and alot of head nodding, shaking, and earth shattering squeals. I'm officially afraid. Love your blog :)

Posted by: Jenna | January 28, 2005 at 05:31 PM

i'm experiencing the 6-month-old version of that today. Can't WAIT to see what the future holds....

Posted by: Sarcastic Journalist | January 28, 2005 at 05:32 PM

Too much! My son (2 1/2) is just like that! IT is SCARY. I wonder if they are planning it all out to see just how long it takes before their Mommies (and Daddies) are collectively put in the appropriate asylums and the whole lot of them can rule the world together!

Thanks for a great Blog! You crack me up.

Posted by: Amanda | January 28, 2005 at 05:34 PM

Glad to know I'm not the only one with a psychotic toddler! Just yesterday, I was told from the back seat not to look at her. Easy enough, as I was driving at the time!

Posted by: lex | January 28, 2005 at 05:47 PM

I see now that I am delusional if I ever think I might be in charge... and Lil is so close to real talking. Is this what we're encouraging them to talk for? Aghhhhhh!

Posted by: Elaine | January 28, 2005 at 06:31 PM

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You understand that he thanked you and told you that you were soft so that you wouldn't punt him out the window over the oatmeal debacle, right?

Posted by: Mir | January 28, 2005 at 07:11 PM

If I now step out and get myself impregnated by the first male that walks by, you will be the one I'll blame. You. YOU!

Posted by: Lioness | January 28, 2005 at 07:35 PM

I'm twenty-three, and my mother still won't let me forget a certain moment from my childhood--as a two-year-old, I apparently screamed, "But I DON'T WANT what I want!"

You, too, can lord Henry's toddler-psychosis over him in later years... that might be a silver lining for you. Heh.

Posted by: Claire | January 28, 2005 at 07:35 PM

I'm in my twenties, and my mother still won't let me forget a certain moment from my childhood--as a two-year-old, I apparently screamed, "But I DON'T WANT what I want!"

Posted by: Claire | January 28, 2005 at 07:37 PM

Baw-Haw-Haw!!!

Yes, Henry and my Erin are psychic twins. Cheers to Two-Year-Olds!!

Hey, if it makes you feel better, I went through the terrible twos AND the tyrannical threes with twins just a few short years ago. Yeah, I have a lot of grey hairs.

Posted by: ChickenFlicken | January 28, 2005 at 07:50 PM

Ya know, that kind of reminds me of me... I guess indecisiveness really IS annoying. Sorry Boyfriend and Mom!

Posted by: H.E.R. | January 28, 2005 at 08:12 PM

A HA HA HA I call Elle my little psycho-toddler. She's doing much better but OH MY LORD, I could have switched out the names and a few of the facts in those conversations and they would have been ones I've had with my daughter.

I've also called her a pint-sized emotional terrorist, by the way. Because, yes, she's reduced me to tears, begging for mercy on more than one occasion.

I often describe her as the sweetest kid you'll ever know but also the craziest kid you'll ever know. God love her.

Glad I'm not alone. Thanks for sticking around. I truly enjoy and look forward to reading your posts. :)

Posted by: Ninotchka | January 28, 2005 at 10:03 PM

So what did you do? Kind of crouch?

I hope he outgrows it because, even though it would make for awesome blogging, a 20 something psycho isn't very funny to live with.

Posted by: melissaS | January 28, 2005 at 10:11 PM

Poor Mom! My almost 6 year old is luckily not in this stage right now...well, at least at this exact MOMENT (we all know it could change). However, what you describe matches exactly what the dog has been doing for the past week. She is very loving, but again -Nothing is good enough and she doesn't want you to sit or stand or let her out or let her in. And she is almost 3 in human years. Hmmmm. Strange! Thanks for the wonderful reading!

Amy

Posted by: Amy | January 28, 2005 at 10:18 PM

I laughed so hard... at 4 years old now we are past this, into stranger realms, but the absurdities are always the best.

Posted by: Jen | January 28, 2005 at 11:41 PM

Hey Alice Brady! This blog is famous now (see NYTimes Fashion section on Sunday). This means the world is a better place. Thanks for capturing all these moments so perfectly.

P.S. Are you part of the Brady Bunch?

Karen, Tallulah's Grandma

Posted by: Karen the Grandmother | January 29, 2005 at 10:50 AM

My toddler, aged 13 (yes, years, not months) is just like that too! One minute he says, "Can I have a huggle?" (this is a combination of a hug and a cuddle) and the next he's sulking. See, they don't change much, men, do they?
And you've just reminded me of what his big sister said when SHE was two or three years old: "I want an ice-cream." -- "What's the magic word?" -- "I want an ice-cream NOW!"

Posted by: anna | January 29, 2005 at 03:05 PM

I've had identical conversations with my 2.5 year-old. Don't Sit! Don't Stand! Fine, no problem, I'll just unobtrusively hover in mid-air mmmkay?

Posted by: Sheryl | January 30, 2005 at 01:00 AM

so did you jump out the window or go give him a hug? i'm betting window because if you'd hugged him the story would have gone to tell of your black eye AND THEN jump out the window.

Posted by: honestyrain | January 30, 2005 at 06:17 PM

My kid is really bossy too! I think it's just a type, and the best thing to do is have a sense of humor about it, and let him THINK he is running the show. It's the only way to keep the peace. These bossy kids will all grow up to be world leaders!

Posted by: Griffinsdad | January 31, 2005 at 03:18 PM

We have a mud room that separates our den from the outside door. Friday as I walked into the den after work, my 2 year old fell on the floor crying and screaming as soon as he saw me. When I asked him what was wrong he said, "But I wanted to open the door". What am I? A mind reader?

Posted by: Jaimee | January 31, 2005 at 03:31 PM

Oh how funny... how many times have I been there? Irrational little beasties, aren't they?

Posted by: Liz | January 31, 2005 at 08:12 PM

This one had me LOL, literally.

These days when my 2-year-old sits on the toilet, she tells me, "Don't say yay to the poop." And we often have similar conversations to yours:
"Mommy, whayou eating?"
"An apple."
"No, don't eat an apple."
"But I like it."
"No, don't like an apple."

Thank you for your blog.

Posted by: Jessica | January 31, 2005 at 10:10 PM

Gotta love them kids. It gets better as they get older. I love the no's meaning yes's and the being bossy moments. They say terrible two's are bad, I think the terrible three's are worse. Good luck!

Posted by: Karoni | February 03, 2005 at 07:21 PM

Speaking as a part-time nanny, recent ex-teenager, and older sister to two sixteen-year-olds - yes, it gets better. And then it starts right back again. That conversation sounded like some of the fights I had with my mother at fourteen. But don't loose hope! I'm told four to twelve is really nice.

Posted by: alex | February 04, 2005 at 01:13 PM

That is truly humorous.

Posted by: Kelly AKA Fat Housewife | February 13, 2005 at 01:45 PM

(I have been away for awhile. I used to have a blog called Navelfuzz, which I pulled because I was afraid it would get my family Dooced. In my new blog's incarnation, I keep some things to myself.)

But enough about me. Thank GOD for this post. No wait, thank YOU!

See, my kid is adopted. And everything she does is seen through that lense by the (unnamed) experts, who freak out when she acts like she is a little younger than her chronological age, which is four. See, she has been really busy for the last seven months learning English, so she is not as mature as the average four year old but definitely more mature than a couple of four year olds I've met.

Anyway, she does this EXACT kind of stuff but the expert critique leaks into my thinking and I have to worry. Your stories about Henry help, because you seem incredibly normal to me, at least as normal as I aspire to be.

Also, I want to say that I am really glad you were convinced by your supporters not to go away. The price you pay for fame, even in the world of blogging, is that people can be incredibly nasty to you. The humor impaired really should stay off your blog. Your blog is not about or for them, and if it was, I would so not read your writing.

Some of the more popular bloggers simply turn off the comment option. If you ever feel like you have to do something about flamers and trolls, do that, but please stay, because the only thing worse than having Finslippy online would be losing Finslippy! (wait that doesn't sound right but you catch my drift.)

Posted by: Sue | February 19, 2005 at 08:49 PM

Ah, how often I am reminded of my poor mother when I read of your struggles! I was the oldest, about 6, and a three year old brother and a baby brother, neither of which were much use but they didn't ask me. I remember we were chasing Mom through the house--we didn't understand she might be trying to lose us--and seeing her dart into the bathroom. She didn't get the door closed in time for my middle brother who jerked the towel closet door open just as Mom pooted. How comical. We left her alone in the closet for a while, listening to her alternate between howls of laughter and sniffles of being overwhelmed. I love my Mom. Think I'll go remind her of that--it'll make her day.

Posted by: Amy | February 21, 2005 at 06:03 PM

These are great stories. Thanks for sharing. I think 2 year olds are fabulous. Terrible on occassion. Ok.. almost daily, but sometimes the terrible times are the most fun in hindsight. My 2 and a half year old daughter is really bright, and is beginning to learn to delegate some of her duties.

While we are potty training, I sometimes let my daughter run around the house without a diaper for a short time. She really enjoys this freedom, and she is very good about going to the potty when she is diaper free, at least about going pee pee. The other night, she was running around naked and I noticed her bring a diaper from her room and put her diaper on. A few minutes later, a familiar smell wafted through the air.
As we changed her poopy diaper, I said, "You knew you had to go poo poo, so you went to put on a diaper?"
She nodded yes.
"Why didn't you go potty?"
She said, "I want to go pee pee on the potty."
I answered, "and you don't want to go poo poo on the potty?"
To this my wee daughter turned crew boss answered,
"NO, MAMA go poo poo on the potty!"

Posted by: Jane | March 03, 2005 at 01:59 PM

Gotta love that! Should I mention now that it doesn't get much better. Oh, the words change, but they keep the attitude and the wanting to control the world. There's a reason God made them so cute looking, LOL!

Posted by: Laurie | March 07, 2005 at 12:05 AM

As the mom of a 2-year old boy, I started surfing the net tonight desperate for suggestions on dealing with his tantrums...instead I found this! MUCH better than the latest expert-speak. I needed a good belly laugh! I'm putting this on my favorites list; thanks!

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