Fretting is like aerobics for the mind.

So my dad’s going in for surgery at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

This is insane, but I might as well tell you: this surgery seems impossible to me; I mull it over and read up on the gory details and every time I end up feeling altogether poorly about it. And here’s the crazy part: it’s because I can’t figure out how such a surgery is possible. Are you with me? If I can’t figure out how to do something, it stands to reason that no one can. I don’t know when I got so egomaniacal, but there it is. Operating on a heart! Who ever heard of such an insane act? You need the heart at all times; you don’t go fiddling with it. Much less opening it up and sticking pig parts in there.

If I were a surgeon, I’d be in the operating room saying things like, “Okay, let’s just, you know, start cutting this nice person open, and—hold up a minute here, I have to vomit for an hour or two. Okay. No, I’m good. No, wait, still sick. Wow. Didn’t think a person could vomit out through their eyes, did you? Well, we all learned something today. You know what? This whole surgery thing doesn’t seem right to me at all. Who’s for lunch?”

Obviously we’re all grateful that I didn’t pursue a medical degree.

In general I tend to be unable to relax when I’m not in control. You should see me in a plane. I’m the one in 34F, flying the plane with my mind. It’s not easy but someone has to do it, and what, I’m going to trust those drunks in the cockpit?

In conclusion, I am insane. Thank you. I have to go fret now.

Comments

[sam]

We should go on a flight together. Then, when one person's mind gets tired of keeping the plane aloft, the other can take over.

I, too, have been blessed with the gift of flying airplanes with my mind. It's a big responsibility, yes, but as you point out, someone's got to do it.

[halloweenlover]

Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking about your dad and sending him positive thoughts and prayers.

[Mir]

Awwwww, hang in there, Alice. I'm sure the doctors don't do any of that eyeball vomiting and your dad will be fine.

[Robin]

My dad had a triple bypass in February. My mom gave me a call at the point when they stopped his heart, and again 45 minutes later when they started it again.

You can't just stop a human heart, dammit!

Well, apparently, you can. He's doing just fine. Good luck to your dad tomorrow.

[Watergirl]

Sending good thoughts to you and your family, Alice.

[Lori]

Not insane, just worried. Being a control freak has it's drawbacks, doesn't it? (I speak from experience.) Sending positive thoughts, if that helps....

[Very Mom]

Darling Alice, he'll be fine. I promise. I'll perform the surgery in my mind just to be sure.

[Em]

Man, I totally understand this. I'm insane too! Anyway, best of all the best to your dad. I know it won't make you feel much better but they do this every day (yes, not to YOUR DAD though, and I get that too) and I am sure he will fly through it like nobody else. Big love to you, Ms. Finslippy!

[jilbur]

it's a verified fact that all the best people are raving nutters, so, welcome to the club where we're all too loony to know we're members.

perhaps there is some 'flying the plane' aspect of this surgery that you can be in charge of ... for instance, since your dad will need to be asleep during the procedure, it might be a good idea for you to also be asleep. To, like, fortify his sleep telepathically. Or something. Just an idea.

Will be thinking of you and your family, sweetie. This time tomorrow the worst will be over.

[Em]

I am a control freak myself so just so you know, I don't take the advice I'm about to give but I've given it before and it seemed to work.

Sometimes it feels like we can prevent something bad from happening by worrying hard enough about it. Like if you relax, who is maintaining the vigil of worry? How will he be ok if you don't fret about it? You know logically that that isn't true so sometimes you have to make a conscious decision NOT to worry. If you are religious, some people "give it to God", put it in his hands and trust that everything will be ok. If you aren't, even just deciding that you don't control the outcome, no matter how anxious you get and letting it go may get you through.

Me, I'd keep worrying, because I'm a control freak ;-) Trust me, though, they don't just let anyone operate on hearts. I hope your dad is up and around in no time!

[jo(e)]

Waiting while someone is in surgery is the slowest thing in the universe. It's like time stops or something.

I hope all goes well.

[Martha]

Good luck to your dad -- I hope all goes well.

[susie]

I hear you hummin' sistah - when my mom had heart issues I scared the hell out of her cardiologist by insisting on a second opinion and then I went to my old physiology professor (from 10 years prior) and got the diagram of the heart from our lab and made all the doctors draw pictures for us as we gathered around my mother's bed. Then when she went in for bypass surgery I went in at 5am to WITNESS HER NEW WILL - thanks mom -beforehand and after they gave her the happy drugs I taped a note over the incision area, yet under her gown, instructing the surgeon to be very careful with my mother and informing him that I would be the one with my face pressed against the window of the doors to the OR hallway and they should be sure to do it right and everything because there were lots of things she still had to do in her life like go to China and be a grandma.

She's in China right now. One out of two ain't bad.

I will be keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.

[Coralie]

Best of luck for your dad tomorrow.

[Ninotchka]

Thinking good thoughts for your Dad. As always, you are hilarious, even while fretting. Maybe, especially while fretting.

I do the same thing when I fly. More than anything I look around for defects and listen for odd noises. Best flight I ever had was when I sat next to a pilot and he told me what every sound was. I think of him when I see that episode of The Simpsons where Marge is afraid of flying and Homer is describing everything to her, including when they don't take off and instead kind of just roll right into a lake and he's like "That's a carp, swimming around your feet." Or something like that.

ha ha

HILARIOUS!

Again, best wishes to your Dad during and after surgery!

[Bente]

Good luck to your Dad, hope all goes well. And good luck to you as well with the mind flying, must be very tiring work.

[Silver Lining]

Good luck to your Dad. And good luck to you, too. I think in a way, you might need it more!

[Rina]

Best wishes to your father. Tell him the blogging world has him in their prayers.

[clickmom]

Oh, Finslippy, there is no easy way to dael with this.

Last summer, after years of questionable symptoms and inconclusive testing, my mother went to the Mayo Clinic to get to the bottom of her chest pains. It turns out she has a huge blockage between her hearts chambers. Two of three specialists thought open heart surgery was in order, the surgeon said he wouldn't touch her, she was not healthy enough to survive the surgery. They shuffled her medications and sent her home to clean up her diet and lifestyle. She did, she eats better, does some water exercises, lost weight and seems so much better, except the blockage is still there. So we wait. Wait and see if it will hopefully resolve itself, wait and see if she has a heart attack, or wait and see if she will be healthy enough to survive the surgery that could extend her life. Waiting is so hard. It's the hardest part.

My hopes and prayers are with your dad and you.

Clickmom

[clickmom]

Oh, Finslippy, there is no easy way to deal with this.

Last summer, after years of questionable symptoms and inconclusive testing, my mother went to the Mayo Clinic to get to the bottom of her chest pains. It turns out she has a huge blockage between her hearts chambers. Two of three specialists thought open heart surgery was in order, the surgeon said he wouldn't touch her, she was not healthy enough to survive the surgery. They shuffled her medications and sent her home to clean up her diet and lifestyle. She did, she eats better, does some water exercises, lost weight and seems so much better, except the blockage is still there. So we wait. Wait and see if it will hopefully resolve itself, wait and see if she has a heart attack, or wait and see if she will be healthy enough to survive the surgery that could extend her life. Waiting is so hard. It's the hardest part.

My hopes and prayers are with your dad and you.

Clickmom

[Psycho Kitty]

Thinking good thoughts for you dad.

[Her Ladyship]

Sending good thoughts to your dad. Hope his surgery goes well.

[Sarcastic Journalist]

hope all is okay. luckily, technology can be a wonderful yet complex thing.

[Kiersti]

My thoughts are with you, your dad and your family. Medical technology is amazing. Stay strong!

[Jen S.]

best wishes to your dad and family. it's hard..but all will be well. my dad had a quadruple bypass in 1997..things went great. it was scary at first to see him..3000 machines and stuff..but he was so much better afterwards..it was worth it.

[kat]

Not insane. Perhaps worried, fretting?

Things will work out fine. Sending good thoughts.

[Pontificant]

Say--the heart just swishes your blood around your circulatory system. When they do open-heart surgery they just hook you up to a machine that swishes your blood for you and take the heart out of the loop until the surgery's done.

You are no longer worried now!!
Next: I cure world hunger!

[sharbean]

Been there, done that. Believe it or not, this is one of the more common surgeries that are done now-a-days and people bounce back pretty quickly. Personally I think the whole thing is barbaric.

The hardest thing to recover from in heart surgery is the fact that they crack your chest cavity open. So, there are a lot of hospitals that are experimenting with laser surgery instead of opening the chest cavity to eliminate most of the recovery time.

Good luck and everything will be just fine; though from personal experience I know that it is a hard thing to go through. Once your dad is all healed up he will feel like a million bucks (my own dad runs around recommending that people have heart surgery because he felt like a new man after!).

[chris]

the dad is still recuperating from flying the plane back and forth between the big apple and home last week. that mind flying is some strenuous stuff!

[xcohn]

Please do not fret and we hope everything has gone well.

thinking of you...

A & L

[Zach]

As a pilot, I am relieved to hear that you guys are back there flying the plane. Now I can keep reading the paper in peace.

Ps
We aren't really drunk, usually just so tired we look it.

[DM]

I hope your father came through his surgery all right. And I, for one, am glad that you people are flying the plane with your mind. I'm too freaked out to concentrate on it.

[Natasha]

Hope all went well. My father in law had a quint-bypass abt 6 years ago. Recovery was long and difficult but like someonesaid - mostly cuz they cracked his chest open. OUCH! Now he is in great health and back toan active lifestyle.

I had back surgery about 3 months ago and what struck me was how relax the surgeon was about cutting into my spine. It scared the crap out of me - kinda made me feel like an old car going in for some repair. But then I thought - well they are relaxed because they know what they're doing. Now it's 3 months later and I can walk without pain! Damn good surgeons!

I am sending positive thoughts to you and your family. Keep us posted.

BTW I want to personally thank everyone telepathetically flying the planes too. Glad I'm not the only nutter out there doing that! Be well.

[the mighty jimbo]

sometimes i think i am most in control when i am totally out of it. probably why i sleep so soundly on airplanes. either that or the boredom.

hope he pulls through flying.

[Robert]

Herself believes that by pushing with both hands against the inside of the car window, she's keeping that semi from changing lanes on top of us. We're still here so it's hard to argue with her about it.

Best of luck to your Dad.

[Hall]

Hi, still sending good wishes to you and your dad... please let us know how things are going when you can. Hall

[Busy Mom]

Sending prayers and good vibes to your Dad for a speedy recovery.