At least it’s for me and not at me.

Scene: Apartment. Alice is running from room to room, cursing under her breath. Henry is sitting amidst the piles of Star Wars guys.

Henry: Play with me. Play with me, Mommy. Play with me. Play with me. Play with me, Mama. [He knows this gets me.]

Alice: I can’t find my book. Where the hell did I put my book?

Henry: PLAY WITH ME.

Alice: I’m so frustrated! I have been looking everywhere for my book, which I just started, and I didn't want to like it but I do and I WAS JUST READING IT WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WITH IT?

Henry: I’m so frustrated too because you can’t find your book. Now play with me.

Alice: You have to give me a minute.

Henry: I am so mad at you right now.

Alice looks at the garbage bin. Could it be in there? But how? Why? What? She flips it open.

Alice: Henry! Do you want to hear a funny story?

Henry: I do want to hear a funny story.

Alice: My book was in the garbage, Henry. I put the book in the garbage. Because I am a crazy lady.

Henry: And I am laughing and laughing for you!

Comments

[a pleasant shade of green]

Uh-oh. I think the craziness may be contagious... I too am having a why's-my-book-in-the-bin kind of day but [sigh] I don't have a lovely Henry to make it better. Still chuckling from your last post too (and the last comment about the ads). Keep up the good work: my thesis (and sanity) depends on it!

[TB]

I almost put a package of pork chops away in our pantry (non-refrigerated) the other night. That would have been nice in a couple of days.

[WindyLou]

hmmmmm - perhaps Henry was laughing so hard because HE put the book in the garbage? Sounds like the type of thing I used to do. And that would make you not crazy!

[mathew]

i've done it all. bills in the garbage, canned peas in the freezer, peanut butter in the oven, my shoe, just once, in the vegetable crisper. it's a wonderful thing, that i'm not under constant observation that is.

and people wonder why i talk to myself! it's because i have to constantly reaffirm to myself that no, i'm not crazy!

[Bad Hippie]

I've been known to put the butter away in the freezer and the ice cream in the fridge on grocery-shopping days. My son is too old to hide stuff from me nowadays, but the cats do that when they want attention. Those cats - they've got me believing I'm one step away from the nuthouse.

[Bill]

I was skeptical too, but that book IS Excellent!

[Unique Baby Gifts]

That must be a mommy thing..I am always putting items in strange places too! - Jill

[debl]

I'm enjoying picturing Henry saying that last line in a deadly serious voice.

[Imperfect Mommy]

So glad this is not just me... it's called hurried woman syndrome. I wish I could remember a funny example of all the times I have done this, but that's the other casualty for me -- a memory that sucks ass. What the hell was I doing anyway?

[DM]

It's not just a mommy thing. I once was cleaning the bathroom and lost the cleanser. Couldn't figure out what I did with it and ended up retracing my steps. Turns out it was in the fridge.

Nothing says clean like chilled cleanser.

[Alexa]

Was he being sarcastic?
Also, I had the exact same reaction to that book--got it as a gift, was somewhat dismissive of it, finally read it a year later and quite enjoyed it.

[Terry]

I tossed $50 cash into the garbage shortly after the birth of my 4th kid. The cash was still tucked into a "congratulations" card that, for some inexplicable reason, I felt driven to throw away.

I realized my mistake when I found the empty envelope jammed behind some stuff on the fireplace mantle. The feeling that came over me as I flashbacked to throwing away the CARD (with the money still inside) just about did this post-partum momma in.

God, that was 10 years ago and it still irks me to think about it!

[JuJuBee]

I couldn't begin to count how many times I have put the remote in the microwave or the milk in the panty. I really was thinking that Henry put the book into the trash, it would only further prove how smart he is.

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Maybe subconsciously you were like "Ah! This book will be awful! It must go in the garbage!"

[Eulallia]

Can you check your garbage for MY book? I can't find it anywhere, so maybe you threw it away with yours...?

[alice]

Clarifications: I put the book in the garbage, after wrapping it in a plastic bag. I have no idea why.

Henry's last statement was utterly sincere, accompanied, as it was, by peals of joyful laughter. Because it meant I could not join him in bashing Star Wars guys against each other.

[alice]

I mean, "I could join him." Not "not join him." sigh.

[Mir]

What a maelstrom of emotions that kid is. Frustrated, mad, joyful... I think he's my soulmate. How long until he's old enough to marry me??

[Amanda]

I've read that book and I'm confident you're not crazy at all.

[Emily]

I want to know how JuJuBee didn't notice the milk was in her panties. The remote control I can understand, but the milk?

Or was that a typo?

[Emily]

I want to know how JuJuBee didn't notice the milk was in her panties. The remote control I can understand, but the milk? Exactly how roomy are those panties?

[Emily]

Damn. Now my failed attempt at humor is up for all to see. Thank God I am starting Thanksgiving vacation TOMORROW.

[Mrs. Kennedy]

You'll finish that book and you'll think to yourself (rightly), "I could write something better than that."

[nate]

Delurking to say how much I love that Henry mirrored your best "How to talk so kids will listen" Faber/Ginott communication techniques...

[Monica]

Yeah, what Mrs. Kennedy said. Glad you found it though.

[Lydia]

My god, i do heart Henry, i do i do. What a delightful kid he is.

[honestyrain]

i thought that was a funny, well written book. not all books have to be litereary and snotty to be good and this one is just plain old nice to read. i expected it to suck (which does nto explain why i went to the trouble of BGUYING it) and was pleasantly surprised when it did not.

[honestyrain]

and then my typos took over the world and me along with it.

[rebecca]

It's really not a mommy thing. I've put my hairbrush in with the soup spoons, the milk in the pantry, and travelers' checks in the junk drawer ($300! Eeeek!).

[Daniela]

ok - i never comment... but that book totally BELONGS in the garbage... talk about feeling like there was no hope as a working mom after reading it...

[sweetney]

so, umm, how *does* she do it?

just looking for, you know, tips.

[HD]

Mrs. Kennedy is correct. I read that book and it was okay (I tend to like that kind of stuff),but you could do much better! I bet it would be great! Hey! At least you wrapped it in plastic first. That's something!

[Ozma]

OK, I just want to tell you something: Thank God that's unusual for you. Because the freaking out goes with it and that gets old real fast. If you do it every day. Like I do.

Not only can you write something better than that, you do write something better than that.

[Molly]

About a year ago I went to the cashpoint to draw out £50. This had to last me the whole week as that was my very strict budget. After the machine gave me back my card, I walked away.
I then went into a shop about 300 yards away, went to buy something and then realised that I'd walked away before picking up the cash.
I ran back - no cash. I asked inside the bank but the machine had not taken the cash back in. Someone else had pocketed it.
I cried!

[S-Way]

The wrapping it in plastic first is a nice touch. In my house it's the kid who places special things into the trash (or the tub, or the toilet (attempted only).) I also have been zombie-like with stress and lack of sleep recently. Maybe it's the approaching holidays?

A co-worker (co-freelancer) recommended that book to me when I was pregnant, and I kind of brushed off the suggestion. Now I'm going to take another look, if only for a fluffy-enjoyment read.

Possible Finslippy motto: "I do want to hear a funny story."

[Em]

Ha. I am laughing and laughing for you (and Henry!) too.

[Tree]

I've had those days. Part and parcel of parenting, to be sure, but mind-addling nonetheless.
At least Henry could add some humour to the situation!

[Amy]

Ech, that book BELONGS in the trash! Don't know how she does it? She doesn't, that's how. So annoying.

I'd rather read this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399153322/002-5654630-3837645?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance

[Queenie]

I second (third?) Amy and Daniela--I really enjoyed the writing style, and hated the character. She was a crappy mom and a crappy wife and a pretty unpleasant person in general (but probably a really good employee). Hated her, on behalf of all women who actually do a decent job balancing work and parenthood.

[Jenn]

My children put my books in the trash for me.

I am also laughing and laughing for you.

[Torrie]

I liked that book too. (blushing)

I once threw my socks in the toilet instead of the hamper.

You are not alone.

[Ellen]

How funny that you're reading that just now, so am I--lead to it by Maud Newton's comments last Wed. on Caitlin Flanagan, which linked to Slate's op-ed, which linked to her Atlantic Monthly piece "The Sex-Starved Marriage"--which referenced the book. Wondering if that's how you were lead to it too. I agree it's crummy. Thought between Anthony Lane & Knopf it would have been great. How She Really Does It is a response to this one. Journalistic interviews w/ Amy Tan, Liz Lang, etc. It's a brighter picture of the "stay at work mom" w/o the fluff and clichés.

[Julie]

Chick lit? Belongs in the garbage.

I once put a cup of coffee in the linen closet and didn't discover it until the next day.

[roo]

Ah yes. I've been there.

I've looked all over my apartment for keys I was already holding. I kept thinking to myself, "I'm annoyed by this thing in my hand. And where the fuck are my keys?"

[BeenThere]

We move so fast on autopilot to accomplish all we "need" to. Ever moved so fast that you've shut your head in the fridge? Affirmative.

[alice]

Julie, I think the term "chick lit" belongs in the garbage.

[Janis]

Love your stories! I go about laughing and laughing at them all of the time.

[Julie]

Alice, good point. Lots of great works being unfairly characterized as fluff. And one person's great work is another person's drivel.

[roo]

The terms "chick-lit" and "women's fiction" both seem to imply that women need our writing to be specially ph-balanced for our tiny little minds. And our trivial concerns.

[julie persons]

how sweet, I've had zillions of those days, too!