Buckets of fun!

As you may know, I am currently weaning off of Effexor. I am doing so because I have no more problems, and I am 100 percent sane. All you people still on drugs? Y’all are nuts. I alone perceive the world correctly.

(That is the first and last time I will ever use “y’all” in my blog. Indeed, I don’t know why I did it in the first place, but there it is, and I’m keeping it there.)

Yes! So! I am now down to 15 granulinos. (That’s a technical term. Shut up.) Fifteen! That’s, like, less than no milligrams of Effexor. Given the frighteningly brief half-life of Effexor, I don’t know how that dosage doesn’t catapult me into withdrawal within an hour of taking it. Or maybe it does, and I’m too addled to notice.

What, you may ask, is life like on fifteen sprinkles of Effexor? First of all, it’s colder. And grayer. There is no more candy, and no one is wearing costumes. The good part is that weaning down to fifteen means that your child will find the Stormtrooper he has been tearily demanding for the past week. And when he finds it, his joy is so immense that your heart will swell and your eyes immediately begin exuding liquids.

The gnome is still back there, although he’s less kicky than he’s been in the past few weeks. (A few days ago my husband raised his voice a half-decibel and I immediately burst into tears. In his clumsy attempt to be sympathetic, he asked, “Is Grumpy Buckets making an appearance?” and I was all, “His name is Sloppy Buckets and you are not allowed to talk about him.”). Overall, I am not the sopping mess of last week. I love you, number fifteen!

This morning I was complaining to my husband about the leg pain I am now suffering. It began, hmm, a few weeks ago, right about the time I began my weaning. My legs are intensely achy and crampy and sometimes they spastically jerk and flail, usually as I’m trying to sleep. (And not, luckily, when I’m walking down the street.) While I whined and carried on and he tried to pretend he was paying attention, a little voice in my head astutely pointed out, “Effexor withdrawal, you jerk. GOD, you’re such a jerk. God!” So I went online, where all the most credible medical advice can be found. I mean, yes, most of the people writing about their leg pain when they started going off Effexor seem to be unhinged, but that many crazy people can’t all be wrong, right? And many other people recommended magnesium for it, and apparently magnesium can’t hurt you overly, although it can cause unpleasant digestive troubles. And then I remembered that a nice commenter here had told me to take magnesium. Thanks! Wish I had listened to you, when you tried to help!

Okay, that’s all. Get back to work! Or, wait, it’s Saturday. Go back to whatever it is you do.

Comments

[tinypurpleturtles]

i agree with you on the y'all thing. do you think it would be th'all for they all?

[TB]

Hang in there Alice. God, it sounds awful. And yet you are still witty and bright.

[anne]

"whatever it is you do"? uhm. i hope somebody clever has updated and click "refresh" more often than is probably healthy? and look! whee! i win!

also, maybe you should take the gnome on some vacation, like in "amelie".

[DM]

Stupid gnome. I don't know you are doing it. I will never give up my Effexor. Never! It makes me happy and not want to throw myself out of the window.

I'm glad Henry found his stormtrooper.

[Ruenil]

Hang in there, you're almost done with it! I get the twitchy leg thing from Effexor, too, and it totally sucks. But it, too, will pass.

[ZaZa]

I really admire you for having the courage to try this. It sounds like as long as you know why these things, like the crying and the leg pain, are happening, they're manageable. Hang in there.

[ZaZa]

I really admire you for having the courage to try this. It sounds like as long as you know why these things, like the crying and the leg pain, are happening, they're manageable. Hang in there.

[Sheryl]

Alice dear, I think know how you feel (except for the leg thing) and I wish you joy. Also I'm assuming (possibly incorrectly, that's the trouble with assumptions) that you're borderline exhausted, so I wish you rest, too.

[Katee]

Potassium ... really helps leg cramps/jumps. Banannas, I guess.

[MFA Mama]

Ewwww...I've had the leg thing...forget what it was that made me have it, some painkiller one time for headaches...I've heard that Rescue Remedy is supposed to help with that (I've also heard magnesium, but you already know that). Maybe try taking some before bed? Couldn't hurt.

[alice]

MFA Mama, I am currently sucking down the Rescue Remedy. Mmm, high alcohol content.

[Susan]

I can't even imagine how you count out fifteen teeny tiny sprinkles of Effexor every day--I've been breaking my son's Adderall open to put in his applesauce, and jesus pete if those little suckers don't go just EVERYWHERE.

So good for you with the counting! Hooray!

[Belinda]

I always have The Jimmy-Leg. Is the Effexor I just started 3 weeks ago gonna make it worse? I feel soooooo much better on the Big E, though, y'all. And "y'all" is a perfectly acceptable contraction for "you all," and it is never, EVER, despite whatever bad representations of Southern culture you've seen on television, used to denote a single person. "Y'all" is ALWAYS plural, y'hear?

[alice]

Calling it "The Jimmy-Leg" makes it all better. Thank you, Belinda.

[missbanshee]

Dang, girl, I feel your pain. I was on over 300 milligrams of Effexor till about a month ago when my insurance quit. I went cold turkey. I WAS INSANE. CRAZY INSANE. It was HAAAAAAAAAARIBLE. I'm a lot better now, but I'll never forget those days. (Months.) Keep on keepin' on, sister. It'll get way better.

So glad the stormtrooper has been found!

[honestyrain]

also, for the twitchy legs, i recommend going to sleep with your feet up on a pillow or other somesuch lifting type of devise. i cannot say why i think you should do this because my god that would get longwinded but you know, try it for a night or two and see what happens. i have twitchy legs sometimes and damn if it isn't maddening.

also, eat bananas, some say, as it can be potassium related as well. potassium! who knew.

[honestyrain]

see! katee said bananas back there! see! i didn't just make that up!

[Sara]

Sympathy for the Effexor withdrawal... I weaned myself off of 450mg. It took the whole summer. If you haven't found it already, http://www.crazymeds.org is the best site I know of for info about, well, crazy meds. Be sure to check out the discussion boards. :)

[Lori]

I know it's not nearly the same but I went on the Pill about three weeks ago and haven't gone a day without crying yet. It's called diarrhea of the tear ducts.

[roo]

Isn't it great to be one-hundred percent sane? I love it. It's bliss! Bliss!

[MFA Mama]

Wow--Alice replied to me personally. It's like a celebrity sighting! I was just going to say that if you're after potassium, one dried apricot has as much as...um...fifteen bananas...or some similarly outrageous number (I have been told the exact number by someone who would know, but have gone stupid since my youngest was born--very sad as I am a college professor).

[toni]

Y'all don't mess with the y'all, now. It's the only time in the entire history of the south we managed to substitute one word for two, instead of making six words out of a one word sentence. "They all" don't exist. It's always y'all or them.

I hate the twitchy leg thing. Potassium worked for me.

[toni]

"sentence" was supposed to be "syllable." I was too distraught over the y'all to type correctly. heh. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

[Sonia]

My husband and I developed a code phrase for when my head was about to explode. It was meant as a Public Service announcement that I was about to chew off his face. The phrase was "Jiminy Cricket", because I couldn't help but smile when I said it. It worked great until my husband mistakenly used the phrase to point out my insanity, saying "Jiminy Cricket??". While chewing off his face I explained that the phrase was for ME to use, not HIM to use, what is THE MATTER with him?!!! The bandages have just come off and the incisor puncture wounds are really looking much better.

[Erin]

So you've probably heard this a million times but you only think you are not crazy because of the Effexor. When your done weening off you'll feel crazy again. That's what anti-anxiety/depressants do-they make you feel normal and that you no longer need them. It sucks but it's true!! Been there and done that multiple times.

[thatgrrrl]

"y'all" can be singular or plural. but to refer to a bunch of people, it's gotta be "all y'all". :)

[Erin]

Hang in there Alice!! Nothing about withdrawal is ever any fun.

As a side note-magnesium & potassium are more easily absorbed with a healthy dose of vitamin D. This also helps to process calcium (which helps to stop muscle cramps), so in lieu of drinking ten gallons of milk-Perhaps a good multi-vitamin.

[Em]

I think Mr. Grumpy Buckets lives at my house. Just so you know...

[alice]

Erin #1, are my attempts at irony that inept?

[Alexa]

Aha! Yes, Vitamin D! I was waiting to post until I remembered what it was I had heard, long ago, about taking magnesium with something else. I am having a Google fast, so was unable to look it up but as Erin said, vitamin D aids in the absorbtion of Magnesium and will prevent the "unpleasant digestive troubles" you speak of.

[mignon]

Your commentors (is that right? sounds like a nerdy Big Brother/ Big Sister program) are so extra smart!
And I think the leg problem has an actual non-scientific-sounding scientific name: Restless Leg. Pregnant women get it often (I had it with my last) and there's a real-live medication for it, although even toe-fungus has a medication...
Anyway, my OB said a good multi-vitamin (with Mg and Pot) would help, and it did.
Mostly just take care of yourself!

[Mir]

Wow, you'll soon be able to use just one capsule for like, a year.

You rock the wean, Alice.

[Tracy1cg]

I love your blog. Reading it makes me feel like I need to go on meds though, you know, so I don't feel left out. Because apparently there's a lot of funny in the meds taking and well, I love to laugh.

[Shelli]

My childrenn really like me on the Effexor so if you want me to quit it, you will have to pry it from our cold, dead fingers!

[Shelli]

Apparently I have the spastic finger from it because I really meant to type "children" and not "childrenn". Sorry.

[aithne]

Wow! I am proud of you! You just reminded me to take my Effexor. In fact, I think I took it before and now have a double dose in me.

When I went off the Zoloft, I had the brain zaps. Still do and that was years ago!

You inspire me!

[alice]

Um, Shelli, I am not advocating that anyone else go off of effexor. My weaning is my personal choice and is not a condemnation in any way of people who are on Effexor or of the drug itself.

[Jen]

Oh, finslippy, thanks so much for sharing your story with us. i've been a lurker until now, and--discovered only recently--your blog has given me many smiles and much consolation. i'm a mom on lexapro, and i have no intention of getting off right now because it helps me SO MUCH. much good luck to you as you ween off effexor. may the force be with you! (forgive me for that :))

[MaRy]

I went on Effexor last winter when Zoloft, Prozac, and Wellbutrin didn't work for me. It is an amazing drug. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do quite enjoy your blog.

[Abigail]

Woman, stop glamorizing Effexor withdrawal! You make it sound so pleasant and fun that I'm afraid the children will get the wrong idea. My God. You'll see the error of your ways when the jerky-leg violence gang of Effexor Addict Teenagers visit your house, corrupted by your message. They'll take your drugs, and your stormtroopers. Won't you think of the children?

[Shelli]

Alice, I know, I was just making a "sort of" joke. Just my odd sense of humor. I am inspired, too, by the fact that you can go off your effexor and still I know that I probably will never be off meds, which is fine for me.

[becky]

Eat a banana or two. Cures leg cramps!

[la_depressionada]

heroin would help that crash. i've kicked like every anti-depressant cold turkey and what's funny is i always feel the same whether i am dosed up or clean. as far as i can tell, depression is merely the absolutely correct apprehension of the world -- don't all the smartest people in history prove that to be true?

[Charles R. Kaiser]

I don’t know if you see this comment as I’m coming into this entry a bit late, but I’ve been taking Paxil now for almost 8 years, and I tired to come off of it at a really bad time. I had just cut down from my 20mg dosage to 10mg a day. I was supposed to then start taking 10mg every other day when I got diagnosed with a case of pneumonia. The effects of coming off of the Paxil, mixed with the antibiotics and the hycodin syurp for the cough and the Salbutamol inhaler. . . Man! I was a total basket case. Still am. With the cough, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in about a month.

My wife has been sleeping in the guest bedroom. I’ll try finishing coming off the Paxil when I’m better.

BTW, I found your blog via a link from Dooce. I think that you are a fantastic writer. Your entry about your son’s happy dance was one of the most brilliant little gems that I have read in a while. And while I know that it is absolute verity, only a real writer could bring it to the page like you did. My blog is a total disaster as I don’t have the time to keep it up, and I only get to a new entry about once every other month or two, and my writing is mediocre at best.

I’m really glad the people like you and Heather have the courage to write truthfully about your families and your mental illness. So many people do everything that they can to hide the truth away. For God’s sake, if you had cancer, wouldn’t you want everyone to know about it? But God forbid anyone knows that something might be wrong in your brain!

Thank you for your truth.