Cute at three = creepy at thirty.

My son is a little in love with me these days, and I can’t say I mind. Who would mind when one of the great loves of her life, the human being for whom she has sacrificed many hours of sleep and an inexpressible degree of personal freedom, declares that she’s as beautiful as a princess? That she has the softest cheeks on the planet? That she smells better than his teddy bear? (God, I should hope so. He sleeps on that thing. And drools on it. It smells like feet.) He’s taken to remarking on my clothing, and whether or not he approves of it. And when I meet his approval, I admit it, I get a little thrill. On more than one snowy winter morning I have caught myself putting on mascara when there was no chance of us ever leaving the house or seeing another human being. Dear Lord, I thought, I’m doing this to impress a three-year-old.

He has developed a ritual we engage in when I pick him up from school: he runs into my arms, I gather him up, and he rubs his cheek against mine. At first we managed to separate ourselves and head for the door after a few passes of cheek against cheek, but every time, the ritual has grown lengthier and more intricate. Now it’s a full two or three minutes of cheek rubbing, stroking my cheeks with his (inevitably sticky) hands, and gently kissing my cheeks all while murmuring, “Mama, mama.” It’s very sweet, but meanwhile we’re in an enclosed area surrounded by other parents and their offspring, none of whom seem as compelled to engage in a quasi-makeout session with their parents, all of whom are knocking into us, trying to get at their coats and lunchboxes and get out. I move as much to one side as I can, but his little hands are all over my face, blocking my peripheral vision. “Don’t you want to go to the playground?” I ask. “Don’t you want to tell me about your day?” “Shhh,” he whispers. “Shhhh.”

Outside, he is my protector. If someone almost runs us over (which seems to happen with alarming frequency) and I gasp or shout or deliver some (I hope) cutting remark, he’s all over the situation, ready to kick some ass if I give the say-so. Usually he’s a few seconds too late, but still, I appreciate the gesture “What did they do? Where are they?” he says, wheeling around, as the car in question disappears over the horizon.

The other day at the playground, an older boy growled violently in Henry’s face just as he approached, and while I don’t normally intervene in such matters, I thought that was out of line. And, well, I told him so. I tried to be gentle, but I’ve found that little boys either disregard you entirely or suffer deep emotional wounding, and this kid took the latter tack. He took off into the protective arms of his babysitter, who rolled her eyes at me. Meanwhile, Henry was outraged. “What did he say to you?” he demanded of me. “What did that little boy do to you?” He stalked toward him, all but rolling up his sleeves. “Why did you make my mother say that to you?” he screamed at the kid. Eventually we cleared things up and they were soon playing Power Rangers on the Death Star.

Another day, Henry was playing “Shark!” with two of his classmates, boys who are as verbal as Henry and thus equally amenable to spinning elaborate scenarios instead of, say, running at top speed into walls. In this episode of “Shark!” there was a shark (duh) on the prowl in the waters, the waters being whatever was not the jungle gym. Henry and his friends screamed the location, status, and harpoon-ability of the shark at each other from opposite ends of the jungle gym. Then at one point one of the boys looked down and realized I was in the water! Right next to the shark! “Aiiiiiigh! Shark! Shark!” he screamed at me, and I gamely threw myself to the ground, shrieking that the shark had my leg and wasn’t letting go. Henry was obliviously screaming about the shark being near the swings and maybe they should head over to the swings and check things out, but snapped to attention when the boy ran to him and shrieked, “Henry! The Shark! Has! Your! MOTHER!”

At that, Henry did not hesitate to leap off the jungle gym (or, to be more accurate, step slowly and deliberately down the ladder—but with great purpose), despite the boys’ protests that we would surely both be killed. He ran toward me and pulled me to safety. “Climb on my back!” he shouted, “It’s the only way!”

I was describing Henry’s exploits to my husband the other night, and I sighed and said, “You know, someday he’s not going to be this in love with me.” And my husband looked at me and said, “Um, don’t you want it that way?”

Which, really, is an excellent point. I guess.

Comments

[victoria]

That was so incredibly beautiful, thank you.

[jozet]

We just found out we're having us a boy child in August, late July.

However, if he's possibly any more wonderful than my daughters, I'm going to explode from the loving worship.

Very lovely post. :-)

[iheartnewyork]

Oh, I love this post. Little boys are just the best. My 7 1/2 year old is still such a mush. Our nightly bedtime ritual includes him kissing me as many times as he can before I try to squirm away becaust it starts to feel a little weird. But I really do love it so much. I hope he doesn't lose that sweetness anytime soon.

[Faith]

That is why it is great to have boys!!! MMM, ya gotta love it.

[kristin]

and here at the House of Girls i thot the other half of the human race was snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails. Boy, was i wrong! But we love the Mommy Adoration here, too. It is so much more sweet (and unconditional) than the grown-up stuff.

[christie]

How bittersweet and semi-heartbreaking is it going to be when he stops the cheek rub or offers to throw you to the shark to save his friends? You are hysterical. Take the lov'n where you can find it!

[Jane]

Isn't it wonderful? I met my little boy when he was three--he's eight now--and I adore the huggy-kissy stuff.

AND he says he's never moving out.

[J~]

What a fun Mommy you are to join in the game of shark! The cheek rubbing and Henry's shhing you brought a lump to my throat. What a tender lovely moment.

[kim]

From the moment the kid was born I was worried I loved him to the point of being creepy. This post shows me how normal I am. I thought I never knew what I would do with a boy and now I know all I have to do is hug him and kiss him and keep him clear of running into walls! Over here, we get, "Mommy? I soooo much." Because he's 2 and can't get the whole sentence right. Henry's a genuius, and now it's clear why: he gets plenty of momma love.

[Kathryn, The DYM]

The love is good and I've experienced it with my daughter to some degree. I'm so curious now how things will go with little Magoo. Will he be one of those little boys who says he'll marry his mommy one day? I wonder....not if we'll get married...just if he'll say that....

[Mary]

He's amazing. What a lover.

[Jerri Ann]

My boys are going through this same thing, ages 1 and 3 and I am thinking it is the weather....???? who knows but I love the heck out of it!

[lis]

Hee hee...cute.

But you know, thirty year old Henry screaming "SHARK! SHARK! CLIMB ON MY BACK, MAMA!" and then diving, headfirst with you into the sand—well, people might raise their eyebrows. They might stare. Or they might ask you for a movie deal, starring Will Ferrell. Which could also be cool.

[jomama]

Wow. That is so wonderful. I have a 5 month old boy and he likes to grab my face and pull it towards him for a big, slobby kiss and then laugh. I absolutely love it and I can't wait til he gets to Henry's age (my fingers are crossed he'll be that sweet). I had no idea having a boy could be so fun.

[Carrie]

You have to love a 3yr old ready to kiss some ass for mom!!! The Quasi-boyfriend thing CRACKED ME UP!! But I too have the only girl (4) that comes running, screaming and jumping in my arms at preschool. I feel the same way as you. Someday, they won't be as in love with us - so we should enjoy it while we can!

[mimi smartypants]

Alice!!!! Climb on my back! It's the only way!

[Tits McGee]

So. Damn. Cute.

This post totally made me go roll around on the floor with my two-year old daughter, who is lately in the habit of telling me, "Mommy? I love you head toes!" and then giving me big, slobbery kisses.

[LadyBug]

I don't comment frequently, but this post really made me smile. I mean, you almost always make me smile or downright laugh out loud, but this one just really hit close to home.

I have two daughters - ages 9 & 7, and when I was pregnant with my son (now 21 months) other mothers with sons told me about that "special bond" mamas have with their little boys. I had no idea how powerful that bond is, though. He is such a sweet little soul, already protecting me (usually from his Daddy, who - it seems - is not allowed to kiss me, hold my hand, or, really, take a step in my general direction).

And now I seem to have lost my train of thought, 'cause I'm getting all mushy and weepy, thinking about my Little Man. But anyway, I just had to say, yeah, I know exactly what you mean here. They're so sweet and cuddly.

[Velma]

I used to worry that I was all over my boy too much, because it was like an addiction...just one more squeeze! One more tickle session! Huggy, kissy, lovey...he'll come into the Mommy Dock for a little love refueling, and then he's off, crashing into walls.

However, just this week, he started telling me, "Too much love, Mommy!" Waaaah! I guess I need to back off on trying to absorb his deliciousness back into my body through physical contact.

[KristinS]

I have a two and a half year old boy and he has recently started giving me what we refer to as "Movie star kisses" He just smacks one on me and bobs his head around for what seems like forever, not wanting to stop. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I even start to feel a little awkward, but then I always think... this won't last forever. get it while you can. (Now if/when he starts trying to open his mouth... we might have to put a stop to this, but in the mean time...)

[jolie]

oh silly alice - don't you know that there is no better smell than one's own bear?

I've been drooling on mine for well on 25 years now, and if I could bottle that smell... well, I'd dab it on my neck and wrists so I could sniff my boy all day long. that's a mighty compliment henry paid you!

[claudia]

So sweet!! Our son Hudson, 3, is all about those eskimo kisses when I drop him at daycare in the morning. He just stands right in the doorway, with the door closing on us, holding my face and rubbing noses with me. I was told the other day during snack all the kids were talking about their moms, and Hud said "I love my mom from the sun to venus and back." He's all about the solar system these days. It'll just melt you into a puddle of love for sure.

[misha]

I just wrote about my three year old, too. I'm in love. (in the decidedly non-creepy way)I've always heard with girls you love the girly and the friendship, with boys you have a heartbreaking crush all over again. I love your writing and am here frequently.

[Erika]

I remember when I was a little girl trying to slip my mom the tongue when we kissed. I just loved getting a reaction out of her, and I turned out (hiccup) mostly ok. ha ha. Now my little man tries to do the same thing to me. Sometimes they can be such angels.

[diane]

Its wonderful isn't it? My 7 year old son is still in love with his mom. From preschool until this year in fact, he would greet me at the end of the school day by running down the (very long) school hall and leaping into my arms, throwing his arms around my neck and showering me in kisses. The other moms always looked on with envy.

Enjoy it! A son's love is very very special.

[LetterB]

It's the only way. So dramatic! And I love the swashbuckling way he leapt from the jungle gym. Sweet as sugar that little guy.

[surcie]

My son is almost 3 and the things he says to me slay me. When I came home from getting my haircut recently, he said, "Mama! You wook so cute!" He even notices if I'm wearing a new outfit: "I wike dat, Mama. It wooks so nice on you!"

[Mimimom]

Oh, I am SO glad I have a son so I hopefully get to experience this someday! My daughter, who is 5, is *clearly* not in love with me in this way . She needs me, yes, but more in a "you're my bitch, honey" way. Ah, but my son Miles (who is only 11 months) is already rubbing his face in mine and it is *such* a sweet feeling! I'm looking forward to these moments with him . . .great post!

[Julie]

See, I find all of that indescribably adorable. And yet, if I even dare to think that at one time, my husband was in love with his mother, even when he was only THREE for Pete's sake, it makes me want to barf. Is that because she can be so irritating, or am I immune to the Oedipal charms?

[Meghan]

Thanks. I needed that. Your essay made me laugh with my whole person. You have got quite a boy there.

You are a master.

[kenju]

He will always be your protector! My boy is 40, and he shows often how much he loves me, even though we do not engage in cheek rubbing sessions anymore....LOL

[Vanessa]

Oh, Henry sounds so sweet! :-)

It's not just boys who love their mamas -- my daughter has been a devoted Mommy's girl since the day she was born. She's starting to cool it a little now that she's 7, but she still sits on my lap (with her long 7-year-old legs dangling to the floor), runs to give me hugs when I show up at school, pleads for endless hours of bedtime snuggling, makes drawings of hearts to decorate the walls of my cubicle, and compliments me on my hair, clothes and jewelry. I feel like I should record some of this on video to show her when she's 13 and thinks I'm the lamest person who ever lived!

[SZ]

When I was about 10 and my cousin was 3, he gravely informed me that when he grew up he was going to marry his mommy and live with her forever, that even when he was 48 she would make his lunch and drive him to his fireman job at the firehouse every day. If I reminded him of this now, he'd probably crawl under a table and die of total mortification. But, even when he was in high school he was totally unembarrassed about hugging in her in front of his friends. Which is a rare and cool thing.

[Neb]

'"Climb on my back!" he shouted. "It's the only way!"'

You are the BEST blogger. EVER.

[Ann]

How wonderful! Stories like this help me feel less overwhelmed at the thought of children. How do you all handle everything? It is so tough to imagine...

[Poppy]

Oh, my gosh, that Shark game is too wonderful. And Henry saved your life. He is such an adorable little hero! And that image of him patting your cheeks--just like that picture up there.

I am still the apple of my almost-11-year old son's eye. He'll sit next to me reading and absent-mindedly start stroking my hair, and it's lovely. I hope it's not perverted--for one thing, it sort of makes up for the fact that my daughter is a 24 karat, 100 percent Daddy's girl who takes great pleasure in informing me that as far as her affections go, I run a very distant second.

So enjoy it, is what I say.

[Barbara]

Awwwww....so heartwarming! I was disappointed when I first found out I was having a boy. I didn't know of the sweet moments in store. Now I'm looking forward to age three!

[Jessi B.]

This is the cutest story I have ever read. (Although, I hated the reality-induced ending *slash* unfortunate wake up call). Whoever decides that we should adore these little boys in order to make them strong enough to leave us and explore the world must not be a mother.
- http://cluckduck.blogspot.com

[Jen]

When I was pregnant with #3 everyone kept saying, "going for the girl?" And while I tried to be noncommittal, since we didn't know what s/he was, inside I was screaming, nooooo!

As a mom of three boys now, if you play it right they are still lovey in public right up til near puberty.

Watch on the street sometimes -- you'll see fairly large, old boys (9-10) still holding their mom's hand and you'll look long and hard to find a girl that old holding a hand.

[ellen]

Last week my 8 year old son told me I was more beautiful than Liv Tyler in "Return of the King". Now...while I know he's the only person on this planet who would even think such a thing it's still a mighty compliment.

I know someday hormones will kick in and he'll see the glaring physical differences between me and some hollywood starlet/rockstar-model offspring. But, for now...I'll take it.

[Beachgal]

Oh lord that is so sweet. What a child you have. I hope my little man would swim with sharks to save me.

[Lisa]

My son, Joshua, is almost exactly the same age as Henry (DOB 9/5/02)and very verbal - your stories always strike a familiar chord with me. Josh has also been very lovey lately - tonight when I was tucking him in he told me out of the blue that I was yummy and beautiful. That pretty much makes life worth living right there.

[Pammer]

I'm so glad you wrote this. I'm having a little boy in August and, quite frankly, am more than a little overwhelmed at the thought of raising a boy. I could never get my head wrapped around how a boy thinks. They're so... different.

Everyone keeps telling me how wonderful they are. This post illustrated it. Thanks. My head hurts a little less now.

[julia]

Oh, God, the "shhh, shhh" thing just about did me in.

The other night my 2-yr.-old son, Max, was in bed with us, as he is having trouble getting re-adjusted to U.S. Central time after a recent trip. As we all lay in the dark, wide awake, waiting for fatique to strike, I felt someone oh-so-gently brushing my hair from my forehead, over and over. Then I realized it was a teeny, tiny hand. It slayed me. Those loving, somehow romantic gestures almost hurt. They are so totally genuine, it's overwhelming.

[Julie a/k/a "Googie"]

I'm late to the party, but I love your blog. After reading this post I'm officially a puddle of syrup on the floor. And, yes, little boys are the yummiest of yummies.

[Vickee]

He will save you forever.
My sons are 4 and 5, and they tell me "I'll SAVE you Mommy!" all the time. And I believe they do.
I love reading about Henry. Thanks!

[Diane]

Ah--yes....a child's love! Nothing can beat it!

Do enjoy it! I have been posting on my blog---the letting go of my once three year old.......who is now 23. It pains my heart to remember those can't-get-enough-of-you-days! Especially since I am releasing him 1600 miles away from Me!

So wrap yourself up in those hugs...and long cheek holds.....maybe they will carry you through the ultimate letting go in 20 years.

Diane

[ozma]

OK, maybe this is wrong but I think he should always be in love with you just that way.

C'mon. Why does he have to stop loving his mother so much? He can't think she's pretty as a princess and want to rub cheeks with her and all the rest...forever?

It's called 'being Italian.'

[mama nicole]

i giggled so much at this that my poor stomach muscles ache, even more than they did before (due to a delightful bout of stomach flu that i, as mommy, was destined to receive after nursing 3 kidlets through same said flu). thanks for the smile.

[Jessica]

Henry is just the most precious little boy! Athletic non-prowess be damned! He saved you from SHARKS!

I don't have kids of my own yet, but I have a niece and nephew that I see at least 2 - 3 times a week (I bought a house around the corner), and sometimes, I watch them and look at their little faces, and my heart fills up with so much love and joy that I think it's gonna burst. Thanks for sharing your Henry stories -- love them!