Diagnosis: allergy!
"I'm looking at these eye drops--one of the side effects listed is 'taste perversion.'"
"So you'll be eating butternut squash soup, and you'll think, why does this taste like a stripper's boot?"
" That's exactly what will happen."
"Why does this sandwich taste like a ball gag?"
"You're not going to believe how offensive dinner will be tonight."
"'Honey, why does dinner taste like sex with a goat?'"
LOL - hopefully it will clear things up quick!
Posted by: raine | February 06, 2007 at 12:39 PM
How is it you make everything funny? And in six sentences or less.
Posted by: sharon | February 06, 2007 at 12:40 PM
p.s. feel better soon.
Posted by: sharon | February 06, 2007 at 12:41 PM
So how is it you know what sex with a goat tastes like? Just asking....
Posted by: anna | February 06, 2007 at 12:41 PM
Well, at least you seem to have a wide range of "tastes" to choose from...
Posted by: Meg | February 06, 2007 at 12:45 PM
That may explain why suddenly every time I smell Parmesan cheese it reminds me of stinky feet. Perhaps it was just a stripper's boot all along.
Posted by: Noelle | February 06, 2007 at 12:48 PM
But WHAT are you allergic to?
Posted by: Kathy | February 06, 2007 at 12:56 PM
I was wondering the same thing Anna was . . .
Posted by: abogada | February 06, 2007 at 01:05 PM
That's an important question, abogada and anna, and I'm glad you asked it.
Kathy, I have no idea. I think it might be goat sex.
Posted by: alice | February 06, 2007 at 01:23 PM
"We've secretly seasoned Alice's soup with a ball gag....let's see if she notices...."
Posted by: melissaS | February 06, 2007 at 01:47 PM
That is hilarious!
Posted by: SparklieSunShine | February 06, 2007 at 01:57 PM
Perhaps that will be helpful when a late-night ice cream craving comes along?
Chelsea
www.rumymother.blogspot.com
Posted by: Chelsea | February 06, 2007 at 02:15 PM
oh that just made me laugh so hard now my chest hurts!! glad to hear it was something benign and easily remedied. i had to get glasses when that happened to me.
p.s. i keep meaning to comment that your bacon post inspired us to do a 'breakfast for dinner' last week and lord if we didn't guzzle down a whole package of bacon...mmm...it was so good, so thanks!
Posted by: pnutsmama | February 06, 2007 at 02:32 PM
i actually have sleeping pills that i take occasionally that give me a taste in my mouth i call "door knob". better than goat sex fer sure.
Posted by: jenB | February 06, 2007 at 03:21 PM
If you get a metallic taste it means it's time to go put on your tinfoil hat.
Posted by: Mrs. Kennedy | February 06, 2007 at 03:42 PM
And now you'll have to explain how it is you know what all those other things taste like.
Posted by: Kristi | February 06, 2007 at 04:08 PM
Tee hee hee! I've never seen a label that says anything about taste perversions. I've seen taste aversions, but not perversion.
Too funny!!
Posted by: Kait | February 06, 2007 at 04:57 PM
Okay, you're really funny. And I guess the question we all want answered is how you know about the whole sex and goats thing. Humm.
Posted by: fiveflowers | February 06, 2007 at 04:59 PM
I need an explanation of a ball gag. What is a ball gag? Ball gag. See, I can't stop saying it - ball gag, ball gag, ball gag.
Posted by: OMSH | February 06, 2007 at 05:58 PM
AHAHAHAHA! "Waiter, may I have a bottle of your finest pee-not noir?"
Posted by: Rachel | February 06, 2007 at 07:25 PM
Maybe it's the opposite. Maybe it will make you crave perverted tastes. It'll be more like, "Honey, why DOESN'T dinner taste MORE like sex with a goat? Bring it on, BAAAHHHHH!"
Posted by: Monkee | February 06, 2007 at 09:49 PM
Maybe it'll be some kind of good perversion - like strawberries or something. But I guess that's not perverted.
Posted by: Melanie | February 06, 2007 at 09:50 PM
"I need an explanation of a ball gag. What is a ball gag? Ball gag. See, I can't stop saying it - ball gag, ball gag, ball gag."
I almost suffocated when I read that one (laughing with bronchitis is baaaaaaah-d.)
I'd love to see how someone explains this one, cause it sure isn't gonna be me!
Posted by: Anne | February 06, 2007 at 11:54 PM
Are you sure dinner doesn't taste like goatse? Warning: Nasty nasty nasty icky perverted.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatse
Posted by: Robin in San Jose | February 07, 2007 at 12:29 AM
OMSH, go to the following link for an explanation of the ball gag (you GOTTA love Wikipedia):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ball_gag
... and Alice, shame on you for knowing about ball gags!
Posted by: Robin in San Jose | February 07, 2007 at 12:36 AM
Well, my first, second and fifth choices were already taken. So I'm left with:
What makes them think that ball gags are perverted? Perhaps that's normal and the rest are wierd!
Posted by: TSM-Terrifically Superiorily Mediocre | February 07, 2007 at 02:05 AM
...and traffic to Finslippy spikes even higher, as a legion of Google hopefuls follow the links of their dreams...
Posted by: braine | February 07, 2007 at 06:25 AM
Spot-on, braine. Alice, please tell us that your use of 'ball gag' was not a strategic attempt to lure more readers to your site? Because, really? You probably don't want THOSE readers.
Posted by: slouching mom | February 07, 2007 at 09:53 AM
I'll say it if it makes you feel better, SM. Or should I say S and M? Who's really courting ball-gag fans?
Posted by: alice | February 07, 2007 at 10:44 AM
Touche! That actually had not occurred to me, else I'd have come up with a different online identity. I am the most naive person I (and anyone else who's met me) know(s). Hell if I know what ball gags are. Off to google for answers, for I must maintain my newfound S&M identity.
Posted by: slouching mom | February 07, 2007 at 11:11 AM
Ah yes, another Google user made happy...the "ball gag fan" provides much-needed refreshing pleasure when you're practicing your chosen adult pursuit in a warm climate or confined space and breathing through your nose just doesn't cool you down. I look forward to the new ads on the left side!
Posted by: braine | February 07, 2007 at 11:19 AM
Welcome back Alice! Glad to hear your malady was as simple as an allergy. LOL about the taste perversions. I have to thank Robin for posting the Wikipedia explanation of a a ball gag. I had no idea... I guess I'm old and boring! Well, actually, I already knew that.
Posted by: Mauigirl52 | February 07, 2007 at 12:22 PM
Mauigirl52, I have to 'fess up, I didn't know what a ball gag was either, but apparently Wikipedia has an entrance (maybe I should rephrase that), a posting for just about any perversion you might need to research. That, and my husband knew what it was, AND directed me to the incredibly gross goatse link. Should I worry?
Posted by: Robin in San Jose | February 07, 2007 at 01:00 PM
You have a warped mind....but you seem to embrace it. Rock on.
Posted by: hazasaem | February 07, 2007 at 01:32 PM
Wow... Good luck with all your naughty dinners. If meals were that interesting at my house, I think DH and I would be 400 pounds. :-) Feel better soon!
Posted by: Heather | February 07, 2007 at 03:15 PM
I have it on good authority that ball gags taste like chicken.
Posted by: Lux Lisbon | February 07, 2007 at 04:06 PM
So what does sex with a goat taste like?
Posted by: thethinker | February 07, 2007 at 05:07 PM
As I read that last line, Buster's voice popped into my head from that PBS Kids online game where you have to blah blah blah kid thingy blah blah too dorky to explain. Anyway, he keeps chirping, " I HAVE that one!" That's what popped into my head.
Posted by: Mignon | February 07, 2007 at 09:31 PM
It might be an interesting dinner if you take the eye drops AND the newly approved over-the-counter diet drug (not that you need it, of course) that causes, ahem, sudden bathroom urges.
Posted by: Angeerah | February 08, 2007 at 08:41 AM
OMG you're the coolest mom ever. henry has no idea what he's up for.
Posted by: Grace | February 08, 2007 at 09:58 AM
Wow.
I'm sad in that I actually KNEW what a ball gag was, but ONLY from Pulp Fiction. I swear!
MelissaS reminded me of a Folgers Crystals commercial. Cameramen will come bursting out of your potted plants to see if you've noticed.
Well, I hope your eye feels better at the expense of your taste buds. Maybe just add ketchup?
Posted by: Samantha Jo Campen | February 08, 2007 at 05:59 PM
Thank you Alice. I peed. Just a little. But enough.
Also, your earlier post? About women? and about the bs that they totally launched on M? Rockin. Here's to our voices.
Posted by: lis | February 08, 2007 at 10:43 PM
I took an antibiotic one time that "perverted" my taste, specifically for chocolate. Chocolate just didn't taste right, which almost made me cry. I had no idea I was tasting goat sex. Trust me, it's awful.
Posted by: Mandy | February 09, 2007 at 01:20 PM
oh that was funny
Posted by: kimblahg | February 10, 2007 at 12:27 PM
How did I miss the link earlier? I've stopped saying ball gag now. Apparently I should speak in acronyms ... I see it is BDSM.
Wow, that wikipedia - even a picture.
Posted by: OMSH | February 22, 2007 at 08:57 PM