No one told me it would be like this.

Dear Four and a half,

You’re amazing. Never leave.

Love,
Mommy

Hey baby,

Aww, sweet thing. Four and a half’s gonna be here for a good long while. Shh, now, don’t fret. Four and a half’s gonna tell you how beautiful you are. Gonna stroke your hair, now. Four and a half can’t stop looking at you, is all. Remember how Four would slap you upside the head and not care what you thought? Four and a half might do that, too, but it’s by accident, see, and then he’s going to kiss you all over that head of yours and make sure you know it weren’t meant to hurt.

Hey, can Four and a half have that cookie? That one you thought Four and a half wouldn’t notice, all wrapped up in the pantry? No, you say? That’s cool. See? Four and a half wants you to know he can wait—he’s got all the time in the world. Or maybe that cookie isn’t for him and never will be. No matter. Some other cookie will come by, some other time. And when that time comes, Four and a half will be there. For that cookie.

Sweet, sweet love,
Four and a half

Dear four and a half,

….

Love,
Mommy

My love,

Speechless, aren’t you? I know. I know it all. Hey, want me to hold that door open for you? I knew you’d like that. Ain’t nothing I don’t know. Like spelling, baby. Like, you know what letter “word” starts with? Wuh..wuh… that’s a double-you. So it starts with “D.” D starts double-you. See, baby? Try to correct four and a half on that one, and your head will spin. Just smile, baby. Four and a half’s got it all figured out.

Four and a half’s going to draw you a picture of Obi-Wan Kenobi, now. Only instead of a light saber, Obi-Wan’s gonna have a flower in his hand. For his beautiful mommy. Oh, Four and a half is so gonna get that cookie.

Marry me,
Four and a half

Comments

[jessica van dyne evans]

Oh, I love four and a half!

[slouching mom]

Yes, indeedy. That's just right, right for both my boys at that age. The mother-son dynamic is pretty impressive -- almost makes you want to believe Freud, but not quite.

Unfortunately, 5 1/2 mocks 4 1/2, and 9 spits right in his face.

[Daphne Enns]

Oh too beautiful.

Please let that happen to my son! We are only four here. We already know everything. We are sensitive at the most surprising times. But when there are other children around or when sugar is consumed our four year old psyche becomes deaf, but not mute, with a fast-forward pair of feet that jump off high and wobbly places to land on whatever may be under it's shadow.

Please let us be four and half with the same newfound grace as yours.

Please.

[elise]

If I ever become a mommy, or have a mommy blog, I hope it will be like Finslippy.

[Lisa Milton]

What a glorious time, 4.5 - sons are so sweet. My guy turns 6 next month; SIX. I will be sad to see these years go.

[E]

You are so right. Four and a Half is better than a hot latte and a frosted donut!

Just this a.m., when I told Four and a Half she could not watch 'Little Einsteins' b/c her baby brother needed to watch 'Baby Galileo' (I am quite a model parent, I know, at least when it comes to scheduling the TV watching) Four and a Half looked at me, said, "OK!" and skipped over to the cabinet to get the video out. Oh, she also kissed her brother on the head.

Who is this alien Four and a Half? Please tell me they will never ever leave.

[elaine]

yeah, i remember four and a half. those were the days

unfortunately, five came in a knocked four and a half on its ass and five is now rearing it's stubborn, petulant, foot stomping head all over the place right now. further more, two and a half is trying to emulate five to great effect.

i'm holding out great hope for five and a half and three.

[MoMMY]

Oh, how I miss thee four and a half. I miss thee so much. All I am left with is 12, 10, 8 and six and a half. None compare to you four and a half.

[Leslie]

Dear Alice,

I love reading your letters. I think four and a half should get the cookie. If he doesn't, can I have it?

Leslie

[Monkee]

Dear four and half,
I like you more than my husband, 24 and a half. Let's run away together. I will give you all the cookies you want as long as you draw me pictures of jedi with flowers and tell me I'm beautiful.

[kelly]

oh, thank you for sending me back in time to my favorite age with Tyler. Now he's 14 1/2 and it's all Whatever mom with a lowercase m, you're like, such a 'tard mom with a lowercase m. What teh hell is your damage mom?

[Rae]

Oh yes. In perfect words, four and a half has come to live with us, too, and the thoughts that go through my head every day are, "I can't believe that in all the time I've known you, you are cuter now than you have ever been." Four and a half will always give a hug, kiss your cheek, and say sweet things about your outfit. What IS this perfection?

[Lisa (the girls' moma)]

I've never met four and a half. We're at three and a half here, and it's not too bad, but now I'm actually excited about what's to come! Thanks! Nothing like offsetting the dread of two that's approaching with the younger one.

[Rae]

A simple punctuation gaffe made my comment sound very arrogant. I meant that YOU had perfect words for four and a half. Just to be clear about my effusive adoration. Okay.

[Starshine]

That is too funny!

Alice, give. 4 and 1/2. the cookie. Now. Give it. Before 4 and 1/2 turns 5. :)

[ChristieNY]

Thank you, Alice! We're stuck with three here ("NO!" is our word of choice lately, ugh), and you give me hope that someday four-and-a-half will come! :)

[braine]

Oh man, I think your four and a half and our four and a half used the transporter at the same time and one of us is in dark parallel universe v4.5. And it's us.

[blythe]

really? Because I about lose it with my four and a half year old son on an almost daily basis. I'm a bundle of envy...

[sveedish]

I would like to fold up Four and a Half and put him in my pocket.

[Velma]

I think my model is defective! Wanna trade?

Darn, I didn't think so.

[Three]

Four and a half,

WTF? You've gone soft. No! I say No! to you. NO! (throws Cheerio across room, runs off)

[Alissa]

Dear Four and one half,
Come back to me. I strongly dislike "Barely Five."

Love.
Me.

[Wheezy]

My kids are 12 and 13 - I don't specifically remember 4 and a half, just remember when the little one thought the big one was Wonderful. Ah, I miss those days.

Thanks for Code Monkey - I'm loving it, and I'm proseletizing (sp?) as much as possible.

[victoria]

Awwww.

[silvermine]

Oh, right now I have almost 4. Almost 4 is way sweeter than I expected, because the halves are usually better. I did not like 3. I was not looking forward to 4. I'm still not looking forward to 4.

But I cannot wait for the sweet, sweet happy 4.5. Especially since that is when the other will be angry angry 1.

[oregoncoastgirl]

Dear 4 and a half,
Does your voice sound like Isaac Hayes or Barry White? Because when I read your letters to Alice? That's what the voice in my head made you sound like.

[Kaleigh]

Just wait for seven. Seven thinks mommy is everything good and holy. "Wow, Mom, you look prettier today than you've ever looked in your whole life." "Mom, you're pretty enough to be a fashion model." "Mom, don't buy that pancake mix. Your homemade pancakes are better."

Seriously. I wish I could freeze him and keep him like that forever. Plus, he tells me he loves me like 1,000,000,000 times a day.

[TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre]

I spend most of my time with Fif-Teen (mostly dirty looks shot down from a foot above my head), Thir-teen (laying in my lap one moment, crying hysterically that she was an accident another) and the exciting "Nine" (this one adopts animals daily, comes home covered head-to-toe in dirt and uses my best sheets for forts...she's busy, that one!)

I do miss four and a half. All of them.

[amanda]

You mean to say we might survive two and a half? The blunt trauma to the 9 month face from the fantastically pissed off feet, hands and teeth of two and a half? Ma'am, I just don't think I can believe that, and these are girls to boot.
Enviously yours in exhaustion,
Mama of a toddler-infant torando

[KathyR]

13 denies the existence of 4 and a half.

[kyran]

I thought I *did* tell you it would be like that....

[Bethany]

I can't wait for Four and a Half because Almost Four is out to kill me.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

I want to eat this post, just like a cookie. Ahhhh 4 1/2---been through it already, but have two more waiting in the wings to get there. Can't wait.

[acesamie]

Oh, how loved the four and half stage, now my boys are 11/9. I have to say that things just keep getting better with age. I love when they tell me each morning how much they love me, how great I look in "that" outfit. :) Four and half was just the beginning. Its been a Great time, and I am Loving every moment. :)

[Melissa]

my mother pointed me to this post. My son is 4 and a half -- I love it! Course, this is the age of Oedipus (don't be surprised when he says he wants to marry you) -- they love their moms so much right now.

Yerp -- a thousand kisses a day, "Oh, I love you so much mommy, so much so much so much. I want to kiss you and hug you"

It's pretty breathtaking.

Thanks for the post.

[Kookaloomoo]

Oh! Alice, four and a half sounds like my one and a half! Could it be that I'll get this unbearable sweetness twice in one childhood!? One and a half says "blesses" when I sneeze, responds to every request with "okay", says please and thank you, and just last night strung together her first sentence: "I love Mama". Not kidding. One and a half has the craziest, biggest vocabulary (probably why she didn't walk until 3 months ago). One and a half is unbearably cute. But one and a half IS a girl, so probably by 2 she'll be using her incredible vocabulary to tell me how much I've ruined her life. Must enjoy this while I can...

[Melanie]

Wait, why does MY four and a half have yelling? Just constant LOUD TALKING-TYPE YELLING. He's cheery, sure, but oh-so-loud. And incredibly snarky, like a 13 year old girl or a really bitter blogger or fashion writer or something.

[ElleBee]

Oh, I love four-and-a-half! Of course, six-and-a-half is pretty amazing too (but maybe I'm just biased!). I got a card one morning that read:

DE MOM I (HEART) U!
U R THE GRADIS MOM IN
THE UNUVRS

I nearly cried. One-and-one twelfth is sweet too. Hugs, kisses, belly laughs and general silliness.

I'm sure I'll reach those not-so-great ages with both boys soon enough, but for now I'll enjoy where we are.

[ElleBee]

Oh, I love four-and-a-half! Of course, six-and-a-half is pretty amazing too (but maybe I'm just biased!). I got a card one morning that read:

DE MOM I (HEART) U!
U R THE GRADIS MOM IN
THE UNUVRS

I nearly cried. One-and-one twelfth is sweet too. Hugs, kisses, belly laughs and general silliness.

I'm sure I'll reach those not-so-great ages with both boys soon enough, but for now I'll enjoy where we are.

[Fabricated Goddess]

I've got four and three quarters over here, and let me tell you he is a noxious combination of four AND four and a half. One minute he's caressing my cheek and gazing into my eyes with affection and the next moment he's flat out on the lino violently expressing his displeasure at being disallowed the opportunity to eat his own boogers. It's like Jekyll and Hyde.

I'm praying for 5 to be more stable. Or tranquillizers.

[Fabricated Goddess]

I've got four and three quarters over here, and let me tell you he is a noxious combination of four AND four and a half. One minute he's caressing my cheek and gazing into my eyes with affection and the next moment he's flat out on the lino violently expressing his displeasure at being disallowed the opportunity to eat his own boogers. It's like Jekyll and Hyde.

I'm praying for 5 to be more stable. Or tranquillizers.

[ShariMac]

At my house, four and a half slips into our bed every night after midnight, burrows up close, gazes at me adoringly, and instructs, "Mama, wake me up every morning with a kiss."

Yes, four and a half. Anything you say, four and a half. I'm yours, four and a half.

[Dmom]

Enjoy 4.5, even 5.0 but be prepared for 5.5, all the drama and obnoxiousness of 4.5 with a large dash of "I'M NOT GOING TO..."

We're almost at 6.0....I hope it's the return of 4.5 {:o))

[liz]

Four and five-sixths, however, is a bitch. Fortunately, the major export of the Napa and Sonoma valleys is helping me get through it.

[Heather]

We're at two and a half and looking forward to four and a half.

[Yoki]

Yes! And as the only really old Mum here, I can tell you that when 4.5 is like that, so is 18 and 21. Excellent boy, that 4.5.

[J]

aww. four and a half's a charmer.

[Sue]

Hmmmm.... My daughter is 4.5, and she told me two weeks ago that kisses are disgusting and hasn't let me kiss her since. I'm getting gipped, I think.

My youngest is barely two. He will only hug me and kiss me if he's pretending he is a kitty. He also will only brush his teeth or let you change his diaper if you say, "Here kitty, kitty - come here so that I can change your kitty diaper." And he keeps pouring his milk on the table so that he can lap it up like a cat. We don't have a cat. I don't know where it is coming from. Help.

[Heather]

So what you're all saying is... My son being only 2 and all... I have 2.5 more years before it gets better...

*sigh*

At least there's a light *somewhere* at the end of the tunnel. HA!

If I make it through the toddler years with both boys and we all still have all of our limbs in tact, eyes in their sockets, and nothing stuck in ears or noses, I will consider my parenting a success!

[motherbumper]

I'd marry four and a half (sigh).