Oh, Juju.

I can't get over Juju Chang. I am seriously entranced by her. Her intro is so rhythmical and perfectly enunciated, with the expertly choreographed hand gestures—it's like Gilbert and Sullivan and sign language, all at the same time. Except utterly meaningless!

"Long before there were Alpha Moms," (And … turn to the camera to direct our eyes right at the audience, arms outstretched, JUJU LOVES YOU)

"marketing experts understood the s--" ( let's bring the hands together and touch our thumbs to index fingers-- this is SO OBVIOUS, PEOPLE)

"—imple fact that moms"
(now we're moving our hands over to our left, because we're talking about the moms, and they're over there, on the left, all behind Juju, LOOK AT JUJU)

"control about EIGHty percent " (put those hands out again, so they know eighty is a big number)

"of household spending decisions—a proportion that represents 1.7 TRILLION dollars" (now do the thingy with the thumbs and lean forward, because 1.7 trillion is a bigger number than eighty!)

"in potential sales to advertisers. But now marketers are beginning to tap into these so-called 'alpha moms'" (air quotes! No one does them like Juju!)

"to get them to lead the way." (And… smile! Another brilliant Juju moment!)

Meanwhile, we've all forgotten that the initial intro by Robin "I wrote a book! I will spend most of the earlier segment talking about my book! I will make commoners ask me questions about my book!" Roberts was about alpha moms being mothers, and not at all about alpha moms buying things. (Not that Robin "Alliterative name! You love it!" Roberts' intro made an ounce of sense, either.)

No matter! Everyone look at Juju's silky hair!

Many of my faithful readers are up in arms over the GMA segment, and I wish I could be the same. I'm so jaded, people. I'm cynical and bitter. I went into this fully expecting that the actual message would not be relayed in any accurate or meaningful way. What morning-show segment ever shed light on anything?

The good news is, no one's pelted me with raw eggs and shouted, "Scramble those, Alpha Mom!" Yet.

Comments

[Dana]

I'm so wary of these segments because they tend to portray motherhood (or aspects thereof) like it’s such a novelty, but you did a great job.

[Kookaloomoo]

I read "Juju Chang" and I hear "Juju Bees". Is that wrong?

[Sonja]

Haha. I read the description before watching the segment and that made the hand gestures ever so much more enjoyable.

[jaime]

I have to admit that I didn't quite hear Juju's name at the beginning of the segment, and I don't watch GMA at all so I wasn't familiar with her. I spent half of her intro thinking "Is that Julie Chen? When did she leave CBS? Is she pregnant? No, it's got to be someone else".

It's so wrong.

[Mom101]

I even made an effort to tune in yesterday (having no idea somehow I'd end up in it for like .05 seconds) and I was so busy thinking how great you were that I hardly paid attention to the forced vitriol at the end.

I have learned that the world is not full of critical media watchers. And so...you will forever have people saying "you were awesome!" (which you were) and not really focusing on how the segment was disjointed, confusing, or divisive. You did good!

[Type (little) a]

Golly Gee! Smoothies for Henry whilst typing furiously on the laptop!

They make it look so easy! And they made you out to be a pompous tightass.

[OBVIOUSLY, I know you are neither. I only call people pompous when they're not. Notice how I'm NOT telling you that you can't catch.]

HAHA. These stupid morning shows. When will we learn to stop watching them?

Especially Juju. I, as an AlphaMom, sneer at her self proclaimed Beta, or Delta-Momness. As is my right as an uptight, overeducated neurotic asshole of an Alpha Mom.

[Type (little) a]

Golly Gee! Smoothies for Henry whilst typing furiously on the laptop!

They make it look so easy! And they made you out to be a pompous tightass.

[OBVIOUSLY, I know you are neither. I only call people pompous when they're not. Notice how I'm NOT telling you that you can't catch.]

HAHA. These stupid morning shows. When will we learn to stop watching them?

Especially Juju. I, as an AlphaMom, sneer at her self proclaimed Beta, or Delta-Momness. As is my right as an uptight, overeducated neurotic asshole of an Alpha Mom.

[Anne]

Kookaloomoo, I said the same thing about Juju in the comments with the clip. Is she actually named after chewy movie candy? What's next for *serious* news journalists, names of random nouns, a la kids of celebs? "Hello, this is Umbrella Kitestring, and here's today's news." bwahahaa

[hi kooky]

All this time it's never crossed my mind to think of an alpha mom as, well, what GMA presented it to be. I think it's funny to suggest that alpha moms are the hard-driving competitive (dare I say "bitchy"?) type. I'm pretty sure women like that aren't reading sites like Alpha Mom... You summed it up so well - we're smart women, we care deeply for our children, we aren't afraid to admit our shortcomings, and we go get the answers we need (all the while twittering about our foolish moments and sharing the great info we discover). Thanks for representing so well!

P.S. Although the toddler-sized basketball escaped your grip, you showed impressive reach and agility during retrieval.

[Lisa Milton]

Morning shows crack me up. GMA is filming from Afghanistan this week. One minute they are showing scary, creepy segments on women's lives under the Taliban rule and throwing down numbers about life expectancy (42) - heavy stuff. For a minute. And then it's off to watching that crazy Diane Sawyer try to put on a turban.

It's choppy CNN lite.

[kyran]

I might pelt you with raw bacon. :)

nah, you were great, relaxed and real.
you'll probably never get asked back.

I think most of us who are having strong reactions are folks who don't normally watch daytime network tv and are flabbergasted to realize that's what passes for normal programming. it kind of ruins the Daily Show for me--it's already parody.

I'm guessing there's more than just a few loyal blog groupies who long ago tuned out of daytime network tv. I don't think you have to be a wall street hotshot to see that there's a gap there waiting to be filled with quality content. that's the story.

one last critique and I swear I'll let it go:

it would have been pretty awesome if you'd come out with the smoothie singing, "Milkshake."

Damn right, it's better than yours. ;)

[dana]

I'm still mad I missed it, but I get the feeling you're trying to tell me I shouldn't worry about it?

[Rhonda]

YOU were great and I was hoping to hear more of what you have to say. Juju is an idiot for treating college-age moms like freaks in a zoo that the marketers want to pat on the head.

Juju should go read a book. (Preferably after we're done throwing eggs and raw bacon at her; I wouldn't want to get the book all eggy.) Do you think she could handle Ehrenreich's "For Her Own Good?"

[Rhonda]

Oogh, I just reread my comments. I meant college *educated* moms! That the marketers want to pat on the head! and of course they don't want to pat the zoos on the head! That makes no sense! (Damn you, misplaced modifier!)

I'll go slink away now.

*blush*

[ozma]

What morning-show segment ever shed light on anything?

David Letterman used to have a morning show. My sister and I used to watch it at our babysitter's. Changed my life!

[the new girl]

LOOK AT JUJU!!
You. are. funny.
I love the play by play.

I'm with you on the expectations of the morning show cynicism.

I think of it more like being realistic than being cynical.

[zhanae]

i don't get why people are up in arms about this. seemed like a nice piece, and you and henry were lovely.

[Nicole]

I think you looked great. I definitely think they missed the whole point of Alpha Mom. They made you (you - general, not you - specific) look like overwrought, material-good obsessed. Oh, and JuJu's hair? Where was she going with the 3" upwardly pointing bangs? She is neither 14, nor in a New Jersey mall.

[Vikki]

Juju might have silky hair but can she handle a basketball like you can? I don't think so...

[Lora]

I think "hi kooky"'s comment said it so well. My only addition is that it makes me so angry that far too many people watch segments like this and think that "alpha moms" are ALL the way they are portrayed. Sure, some moms are beyond perfectionist but most of us are going at this whole motherhood thing just the way you described.

[Marcheline]

Alice - You did a great job, no matter how the station butchered the footage. For my part, I was just excited to actually see you and Henry, and your house, and your garage, and your basketball. It was like, "hey, they ARE real people!" because, you know, if it's on TV, it's real, right?

And wait... someone named Kookomookolloookooloo was making fun of Juju's name? Pot calling the kettle, anyone?

I'm just pissed because Kookooetc. stole my line about "jujubes".

- M

[Elizabeth]

Good god was that Juju ever condescending! Those air quotes made me want to throw something at her.

Did you know that you are supposed to be up on the latest news, trends, and gadgets? So, what are they?? :)

Your "low-key, Beta Mom" friend,
Elizabeth

[Frankie]

I loved the segment, well, *you* on the segment! Ju-jube... LOL!

However, I was dying at their definition of "Alpha mom"! I fully consider myself an Alpha mom and... well, my life is best summed up by my most recent experience after my son's K teacher sent home instructions for completely de-boning a chicken so that she could bury them like dinosaur bones. It's on my blog. It's not.. aheam... exactly like the segment portrays.

I have no desire to throw eggs at you!

[coolbeans]

Of course I acted out the hand motions. (I'm not the only one!) But I got stuck on the "let's bring the hands together and touch our thumbs to index fingers" part.

Me, to myself: "Surely she didn't start doing 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider'? How awkward did that look? She must have limber wrists. Wait. That can't be right. What am I doing wrong? Thumbs to index fingers, thumbs to index fingers. OH! Circles. O-kay!"

[Jenn]

Oh, if they only heard you swear like a sailor, they would lighten up. Dear Lord. It was so...bizarre...the nodding blonde chorus standing in the wings..."YES WE ARE BETA LIKE JUJU BETA LIKE JUJU YES TOO MUCH PRESSURE CAN'T MAKE SMOOTHIES YES JUJU YES JUJU BAD ALPHAS GOOD BETAS JUJU TEACH US YOUR FINGER SHAPES."

You were your usual adorable, intelligent and very real self. Even the basketball dribble was wonderful and made me want to drive three hours to hug you. The swirl around your brief footage was the incomprehensible part. What a peculiar world we live in, that there's no such thing as Moms All Doing Their Thing and Yay Good for All of Us! All of Our Smoothies Turn Purple! SISTERHOOD ROCKS!

Love you in person, and on the screen. Now I must go and close my eyes and run my fingers through my dog's silky hair. Jujuuuuu. Jujuuuuu.

[Amy]

It was great, you were great and I just don't see the controversy on this one.

Now, whip me up a smoothie made entirely out of Henry's cheeks and eyes....heavy on the eyes, please.

[jaleh Teymourian]

I can not stand JuJu. She's so, PERKY. You looked very stylish in your little fitted blazer and skinny jeans. Way to pull it off. (How freakin' sad am I that that's my takeaway from the segment?)

[Sara]

I still wish you had come out in that sweatshirt. Or a prom dress.

[Kookaloomoo]

Marcheline-
Your comment made me giggle out loud at my desk (which was, literally, frowned upon!), but I feel I owe an explanation: Kookaloomoo is the phonetic spelling of a Greek endearment that translates roughly to "sweetheart". My spouse gave me this name shortly after I anointed her "Sweet Pea". Unfortunately, our respective Greek Yayas have both died, and took the correct spelling with them, so we are forced to mutilate the language of our ancestors in order to post lame jokes about other people's names online! And now, I suppose everyone's life is complete, and Alice can have her comments section back.

[Ruth Dynamite]

I thought you were great.

[cce]

I'm with those that see nothing to get worked up about. No one tunes in to morning television talk shows expecting real news with measured and unbiased coverage (unless you're my mother). So the fact that GMA blew it is not surprising or even upsetting. It's just what they do.

[merseydotes]

I'd be willing to bet that Juju has a strong local news background. She has all the cadence and gestures of a reporter standing "live" in the front yard of a person who was crushed under the accumulation of decades of secret hoarding.

[the Mater]

Yowza! I think you and your merry band of alpha mommies do get it ... motherhood is a helluva lot of work, worry and commitment. Managing the little folk is a gargantuan task and does not always run "smoothie". What I don't get is women who make six-figure salaries and have personal assistants trying to alpha-control the content and message. Juju should have gotten out there and dribbled with you ... that would have made it REAL. Well, almost.

Great to put a face to one of my daughter's saucy blogger friends! Keep bouncin' the ball and take no prisoners. Ya all rock!

Alpha Omega Grandmother

[alice]

The Mater commented on my blog! Truly, I am blessed.

[KUchick]

If it makes you feel any better, Robin's intro was written by a staffer since she is a host. JuJu probably wrote her own, as a reporter.

Also, commenters, is it cool to make fun of a foreign name?

[Cynthia]

I know what you mean about GMA's editing ... that's how I felt when I left a comment and you deleted it. It wasn't with malice that I said your appearance was way better than Melissa's bit on the Today Show. I was merely acknowledging that you came across better prepared and represented better than she did.

[alice]

Boy, Cynthia, you really had to get that out there, huh? Fine. I'm not sure what you've accomplished. Yours was one of the first comments, and comparing my segment to Melissa's wasn't the direction I wanted the conversation to take. It's not fair to Melissa, because live television is 3,000 times harder than pre-taped.

[alice]

And yeah, everyone, let's tone down the anti-Juju stuff. I didn't mean to imply any malice on my part; I was truly in awe of the hand/dialogue choreography.

[DM]

I watched after I read your intro and it was funny putting the hand/dialogue together. I thought you were great. I never once took the Alpha Mom name to be that you were trying to be superior to other moms and am thinking GMA really didn't do a good job of portraying what an Alpha Mom really is. I liked the fact that you said no one is perfect. That's what I love reading your blog. That and OMG are you funny.

Kookaloomoo, that is a sweet name. I am fond of everything Greek.

[Jen]

Alice, a question: If you knew the topic wouldn't be treated seriously, or no attempt would be made to spur meaningful conversation, why did you agree to be featured on the segment?

I don't intent this as a criticism, I'm just curious about your thinking about this.

[birdgal]

I'm still just in awe of the fact that her name is actually JuJu.....

[alice]

Sure, Jen! I did have a little bit of hope but there wasn't much. I did it because Isabel asked me, and I thought I could represent the Alpha Mom idea fairly. So I was okay with my part, and I knew I couldn't control the rest.

[OMSH]

I so don't have any idea what I'd want to see from ANY mom segment, so this one doesn't/didn't bother me any more than the last.

Although I gotta say the sbliss segment pissed me off - but that was just because ... well, the obvious agenda to say "Mom's get sloshed and ignore their kids."

Either way, you looked lovely and you didn't stutter or slur ... I'm thinking that is as darn near perfect as any alpha mom could get.

[AnotherSarah]

More importantly -- did you get one of those free Wii units?

[Libby]

Alice, I look at the segment this way--it was like Bizarro World or a parallel universe. You were talking about one thing-- the Alpha Mom site and the people you write for--and GMA was talking about crazy-ass killer moms who demand nothing but the best and will stomp on anyone who gets in their way. I go to Alpha Moms to read cleverly written, topical, informative pieces written by the best bloggers, Alice, Melissa, Amalah and Dooce. Obviously, it's not always even 'Mom' stuff--just info interesting to women or even just to humans. A story about that would have been nice. 'Cause anybody watching(who doesn't know who you are)was probably thinking, "How is that nice, even-keeled mom an Alpha?" Oh, and, Ozma? I WAS the bebysitter watching David Letterman's morning show, so now I feel AlphaOld!(And he changed my life, too!)

[Libby]

...duh! I meant BABYSITTER.

[Cristina]

I thought the fragment was inane. I am not a mother, and I'm not even sure I ever want to be one, but I know mommies, I read a lot of mommy and daddy blogs, and you know, came to appreciate (as much as a childless person can) what parenting means for others. The end of the segment in particular revolted me (addressing the audience, all scoffing and rolling their eyes about this "alpha moms" nonsense--that was truly outrageous). But the rest of the piece was fluffy and misguided--which, as one of your commenters said, is to be expected from morning shows. Which is why I never watch such shows--except the YouTube clips showcasing my favorite bloggers. At any rate, you and Henry were adorable!

[Tammy]

Feh. I've worked in TV, and I know how constructed it is. These segments are mapped out and the so-called thesis is determined in advance. Then they go out and shoot a handful interviews, knowing that they're looking for a few clips that can be squashed into whatever framework has already been decided upon. I can tell that, from the get-go, they'd decided on what an "alpha mom" was, for their purposes. If you shoot enough tape, you can always get enough soundbites to back up your "position."

Remember: these shows aren't journalism -- they're entertainment. If you expect any kind of objectivity or ethics from them, you can pretty much count on being disappointed.

[Kate Cavendish]

The segment (especially the part about the Wii product placement) reminded me of a story the New York Times ran a year or so ago: companies were stealthily hiring "cool" people to use their products (say, a messenger bag, a new cell-phone holder) in order that their impressionable friends and acquaintances would want to purchase those items. A great marketing scheme or deception among friends?

Alpha Mom is Isabel's brand, as Alice has already noted, a brand that clearly marks itself as such. This segment tried to make Alpha Mom into a phenomenon, something that was initiated by the mums (for those fellow Brits/Canadians among your readers) themselves and then identified as such by the media. And in the process, the two hosts revealed that disconnect between brand and phenomenon when they lost control of the segment and reduced Alpha Mom to a silly concept: "You're not an Alpha Mom, are you?"

The literature professor in me gives this segment a D for lack of focus; the blogging buddy gives Alice an A for her grace and ability to retain her dignity. And my inner media critic thinks Isabel came across as a winning mix of engaged mother and savvy professional--utterly unlike the persona created by the sly New York profile a year or so ago.

[MeL]

You were lovely and brilliant, of course. :)

But the segment over all? The fact that they tried to take it in a direction that somehow "Alpha Moms" (yes, hello, branding not clique naming) should feel responsible for other people's feelings of inadequacy?

The women they define as "Alpha Moms" generally don't spend their time judging other moms, they're all about sharing the warts of mothering (and everything else) and having a laugh or a cry now and then.
Ending the segment with the insinuation that moms with confidence and a desire to be well-rounded human beings somehow should feel guilty for making "other" moms feel inadequate... really?
*sigh*

At least the women profiled presented themselves brilliantly. The long clip of you they played actually made me wonder if they had even looked at the footage; the commentary was so off kilter with the obviously normal mothering. And I love the blazer!