Curious George Gets Read One Too Many Times in This Household.

There was once a monkey named George. He was a good little monkey but curious, so George got into shit.

One day the Man With the Yellow Hat went out, because that's all he ever did—he simply drove off, leaving a monkey to fend for himself, like that makes any sense. Once he was alone, George became interested in something. He looked at it, but not being satisfied with looking, he then poked at it, or perhaps he rode it, or he ate it, and before long he was in serious trouble.

The Law or the Authorities or Personnel came after him, but lucky for George they were slow and ungainly and shook their meaty fists at him, which slowed them down further, and George managed to jump on top of a bus, or hide in a shirt. Just then, a larger crisis loomed, one in which (improbably) a being of monkey size and/or flexibility was needed. George helped, of course, and saved the day just as the Authorities arrived. Everyone agreed that while George is a pain in the ass and ruins just about everything, he is also good in a pinch, when one requires the services of a monkey.

Then George got a medal or a pie, having learned exactly nothing from his mistakes.

Comments

[slouching mom]

Brilliant, Alice. BRILLIANT. Do you KNOW how many years I had to read Curious George, given that I have two boys four years apart?

Yeah.

[Ginny]

I always hated those books. Dang monkey.

[Mrs. Who]

That is funny and so true - every book is alike! On a serious note, did you know the authors of that book had to escape from Nazi Germany with copies of the "Curious George" manuscripts in their backpack? True story!

[rimarama]

Hahaha. I always found it disturbing the way the Man with the Yellow Hat stuffed George in a bag and shipped him home. Isn't that called poaching? Or something.

[Leaf, probably...]

While never having actually read a Curious George, I feel like I have read them all after than post.

[maria]

I loved the C.G. books as a child and have been horrified by each and every one of them while reading them to my daughter. Now I hide them.

[SuburbanCorrespondent]

One more reason to hate the Nazis - they let the Curious George manuscript slip out of Paris in 1940.

But, hey, if you've got a formula that works, why change it? I've sort of gotten beyond the fear and loathing into a sort of peaceful acceptance of the inevitable Curious George story arc. (And, without drugs!) I've even been known to read the books with expression from time to time. 12 years of that monkey will do that to you.

[tulip]

"Then George got a medal or a pie, having learned exactly nothing from his mistakes."

My only thought on reading this? "Yum. I want a pie!"

This is what happens when you have to read these fucking books too many times!!!!

[Janssen]

Hilarious! I haven't read a CG book in years, but your descriptions of the policemen with their meaty fists brought it all back to me.

[braine]

^ after "serious trouble": Then all the fun was gone.

I've seen that sentence reused a couple of times in the various books. All the fun. Gone. Sucks to be a monkey.

[kate]

totally. couldn't agree more.

[Sue]

In the original book, yellow hat man not only kidnaps George from Africa or wherever they were, he sells him to a zoo. And we're supposed to think yellow hat man is the GOOD guy. ??!!

[kristen]

word! not 6 hours ago i was bitterly telling my mother the curious george story arc. i've hidden most of the books, but "curious george goes to the amusement park" and "curious george goes to the beach" are still lurking somewhere. i must root them out.

[melinda]

wasn't Carl supposed to be watching him?

(At least the curious george books have WORDS!)

[Michele]

Sadly, this is a pretty good summation of my own life.

I do like the Curious George TV show though, because George actually hoots and squawks like a monkey and is not one of those disturbing Disney animals who talks like a human (or like Alice's coffee table).

[kate]

You forgot the part where they give George a cigar. What 4 year-old (or monkey, for that matter) needs to be encouraged to smoke?

[jenB]

I (well Charlotte really)has probably seen the movie version about a gazillion times. Mark likes to read the old skool versions. Won't be so funny when she lights up a stogie.

and don't forget he HAS NO TAIL

[cagey]

Lovely!

I cannot wait to read the sequel The one that finally reveals that George is actually an APE, not a monkey. Sorry, that is a pet peeve of mine. The same one that gets me when I see a cartoon spider incorrectly drawn. I suspect that I may care too much about these sorts of things. Whatever.

[Juju]

My husband likes to point out that monkeys have tails and apes do not. So, technically, George is an ape. And now, we cannot get through a CG story without my daughter re-informing me that George is an ape.

One of our favorite sayings in our house is, "It's not easy for a little monkey to be patient."

[All Adither]

Will The Man with the Yellow Hat never be visited by the Humane Society or CPS or whomever? He's so negligent. And he lets George smoke pipes and run around NYC alone.

[Rachel]

Brilliance. BRILLIANCE.

[Trishfreak]

I want to know how they never got kicked out of the condo they lived in on the tv show. That damn monkey flooded the basement, got Hunley locked out, made the carpet cleaner man spill dirty, nasty water all over. Clearly someone needs to find a new place to live.

Oh. My. God. It's on right now. My mother in law has the tv on mute but on PBS. Good grief.

[jozet at Halushki]

Exactly.

George screws up and then fixes his problem by getting involved a larger mess and saying,"Hey look over there!"

George is nothing but a bad influence and should come with parental advisory warnings like the Old School Sesame Street video.

[jules]

Oddly this post describes almost exactly, in an abstract way, my Thanksgiving.
Jules
House of Jules

[mod*mom]

hi! where's all the pictures? i'm kidding, but my blog is the opposite, i have lots of pictures + hardly any words, but lately i'm starting to write more. i'm pretty visual.

[mod*mom]

i mean your blog is more cerebral + i should visit you more often :)

[holly]

this is fantastic. i'm so glad i'm not the only one getting bored and reversioning this stuff. ;)

[Jen in CT]

Nice job, and spot on! I think if I have to listen to one more Curious George book on CD in the car I might do something drastic. Like throw all the CDs into the lake. Or shoot myself.

[DadaMama]

If I had a nickel for every time I've thought, "Who THE HELL leaves a monkey unattended?"

Well, I'd be rich.

[Ayla-Monic]

The funny thing is, pretty much everyone who commented on this grew with the Curious George stories - or at the very least, had them in their periphery.... and they all seem to have turned out alright?

[babelbabe]

I hate CG - every single book needs a really good editor and could be cut in half.

But this post is GREAT - you have nailed it!

Wait till Henry gets old enough to want to read the damn Magic Treehouse books. You might just want to shoot yourself now.

[Sarah R]

Yes. That most definitely sounds like the books my mom would read to me as a kid.

No wonder Forrest Gump was so jacked up!

[Lori]

I liked Curious George growing up. But I have to admit, you hit the nail on the head with your cliff's notes version of the story.

[mimi smartypants]

I wrote about this on my WebThing once---there is a definite difference between old-skool and newer C.G. stories. Only in the new ones do his fuckups somehow turn heroic. I can't say I like this new trend, it's all self-esteemy and weird (it was GOOD that you did that, George!)

[Melanie at Beanpaste]

AMEN. Goddamn monkey.

We've had to discontinue viewings of the CG cartoon in this house because it has become less "amusing animated story" and more "instructional documentary."

[Pete Dunn]

I like pie.

[Kelsey]

My 3 year old LOVES all things Curious George. This post was hilarious.! I actually find the George materials a lot less annoying than many of the other children's character tv shows/books.

I was at a conference this fall and heard Louise Borden speak. She's the author of the The Journey that Saved Curious George: The True Wartime Escape of Margaret and H.A. Rey. She did some fascinating research to get the facts on that story!

[Marcy]

Frankly? I'm due to have my first child in 3 months and I'm terrified of navigating into the world of children's books. I baby-sit a friend's 4 yr old regularly and I'll read her bedtime stories and half the time as I'm reading the story I'm thinking to myself "WTF?? What is this story about?? And why does the spoiled-brat king get rewarded??" So much of these books seem like utter crap!

[karyn]

So. much. Curious. George. in . my. house.

[TC]

I bet George would like to do your cat's surgery....

[emilyruth]

seriously...so true

[Megan64]

Precisely.

[Christina]

I read, I laughed. Fabulous.

[Manic Mommy]

The Man in the Yellow Hat must have broken some serious international laws by deciding to just remove George out of his natural habitat.

Never judge a book by its PBS series.

[Jake]

I just like saying "naughty monkey."

NAUGHTY MONKEY!

(See? It's fun!)

[Carol in VT]

Whoa, there. Delurking to say - ya can't just make us care about Izzy (and your coffee table) without CONSTANT UPDATES, y'hear?

[NotFace]

"Mummy, what's ether? Now why is he lying on the floor?"

[amy]

Wait...am I the only one that LIKES Curious George? My kids love the stories, I think the illustrations are cool, and we always have a good laugh at the picture of George smoking a pipe in his robe after dinner. Sure, it's a little annoying that George never has to pay for his mistakes, but it sure beats reading a freaking Disney book.

[Julie]

In this household, George is often used as an example of "what not to do".

[Big Momma Pimpalishisness]

And then he put on a robe and smoked a pipe with the man in the yellow hat. Don't forget that part. It's crucial.