Give me your worst parenting stories

I need them. For my mental health.

And no, not the stories of other horrible people messing up—the stories of good, virtuous you messing up.

I need to know that you can be a good parent and still deeply, deeply suck at it, at times. Today, for instance. When I yelled so loudly at my son that my throat still hurts. (Did you know that mittens are an instrument of torture? That socks are painful? Neither did I, until I met Henry.) Thank god I don't have a deadline tonight because I need this glass of wine. And I need to go to bed before 8. And wake up in a few years, when he's able to dress himself.

Speaking of deadlines, a new Wonderland is up!

And now it's time for you to share your Stories of Parental Ineptitude. I know you won't let me down.

Now that I think of it, I'm holding a contest. The Parental Ineptitude tale that amuses me most will win...something. I haven't thought that through yet. My deep and abiding respect? Something like that. I need to have more wine and think about it.

Comments

[NG]

Oh honey, I've got a million of them. Here's the most recent:

http://ngunderground.blogspot.com/2007/12/mother-of-year.html

[Nancy King]

1. The decision to let a 9 year old boy go find his father at the concession stand at Angel stadium in Irvine while I sat in my seat and we'd never been to Angel Stadium before. It all worked out, he's now 13 and isn't too scarred.

I'm assuming as I think of others I'm not penalized for multiple entries because I'm sure, this isn't the only one... I may go ask my kids for help.

[Joan of Argghh!]

I can't think of one just now, but if it's any consolation, a very trusted and famous family psychologist once said that young boys,when they are old enough to open the fridge, should be placed in a barrel with only a small opening for food, until they are 13. At which time the small opening should be corked shut until they are 21.

:o)

[Nancy King]

2. Teaching my son to say "I smell bacon" whenever he saw a police car or policeman. Dodge some close calls with that one.

[Kelsi]

Oh God there are too many to recount. I don't write about them on my blog b/c my mother reads it and I'm afraid of her recrimination.

My most recent was in Target trying to return something and my kids were being normal, busy 5 year olds. Y'know, climbing in and out of the cart, hiding from each other around my legs, alternately loving on each other and punching each other. I got so mad at them for not being docile and quiet that I hauled one off the floor, hugged him close to me and seethed into his ear that he better knock it off while pinching the other one on his neck. I was hustled through the return counter pretty quickly. Later, I calmed down enough to realize that I had overreacted and felt pretty ashamed of the mark I left on the one's neck. Most of the time, I realize that I lose my patience when I feel like I'm being judged by others. If I had just let them be who they were with a shrug of my shoulders, it would have been a much better trip.
Parenthood is the toughest thing I've ever done and I keep reminding myself every single day that all I can do is the best I can do and resolve every day to do better.

Enjoy the wine - you deserve it.

[Angela]

March 29, 2007.
The Day I Threw the Toys Away.
http://fluidpudding.com/98

[Jennifer Myszkowski]

I'm not a mother, just an aunt, but I've been a terrible one from time to time. I took my niece and her little friend (they were about three) to the Children's Museum in Holyoke, which is a nice place but in a eeehh sort of neighborhood. I got them outside and they took off on me - gone! - just that fast.

When I finally reached them, they had no idea why I was upset. This did not stop me from screaming at them like a white trash mother and then dragging them by their arms back to the car and they had to run to keep up with me. Of course other people were all around observing the carnage.

Later, of course, I felt like a complete asshole, but I really felt restrained at the time. I mean, I felt like I could have murdered them in cold blood - ironic since the reason I was so mad at them is because I was afraid someone might murder them in cold blood.

[braine]

Oh, ha ha ha, the time the lad was having an acute asthma attack and we assumed it was an RSV — until the pediatrician called an ambulance when we walked in and she took a look at him. Ha ha ha. I discovered a new skill that night -- the ability to instantly call up the precise sensation of being the world's worst parent, on command. Can still do it. DOING IT NOW!

Although the first comment from my blog entry on that incident trumps my story.

I also "know" someone who told his/her preschooler that he/she was a "fucking pain in the ass," while said preschooler was in fact, being same. So there's THAT.

[mary]

Ah yes, I just went through this two days ago. A seething rage boils up from my depths and it's all I can do not to beat the crap out of them (just being honest here) It's horrible and frightening for all of us. I'm starting to realize that it's more about me than them. Although, in my pathetic defense, I can only handle so much hitting, pinching, biting and name calling before I whip out the scream from hell and haul their asses to a major time-out.

So I'm tracking my "cycle" and noticing that "wow, I explode with rage about a week before I start my period." A connection? I'd say so! Just knowing that somehow leaves me feeling better prepared for the next time.

The wine sounds like a good idea. Also, sometimes Mom just needs a freakin' time-out herself. Yes?

[Annika]

Hmm, yes, well. My one year old can turn on the television and the playstation by himself, and he can kind of play Lego Star Wars.

A few weeks ago I took him out for the day and neglected to bring a single diaper with us.

The other day I forgot to fasten him into his car chair. There were two other adults with us that time, though, so I blame them.

[karen]

Worst. Mama. Ever. The collected stories of nine loving, good, virtuous, mothers who are competing for the title!

[Bikini]

We usually turn on some music in the evenings and "dance" after dinner (my kids are 2ish and 4ish). I was sick of the kids playlist with Spongebob songs and whatnot, so I put it on shuffle on "my" music.

The fact that "Love in an Elevator" came on wasn't so bad, but the fact that my 4 year old son started slapping his ass while shaking it at me was pretty awful. I think he got that move from me.

[Mignon]

Yesterday I picked up my kindergartener from school and berated her in the car for being slow on the playground and for crying for no reason and being generally pathetic. Then, after two errands, in which she and her little brother sat in the car and she whimpered, I got home and realized she was sick and had had the runs in her underwear. On her way out of school. And had been sitting in it for almost 45 minutes.

When I was five and my older brothers were 10 and 11, my mom (single and working full time) bought the boys boxing gloves for us to entertain ourselves after school. And thusly I lost four teeth in kindergarten.

[Bertha]

I've only been a mom for 11 months, so I'm pretty new to crappy parenthood, but I've had a few bad situations in this short period of time. The most recent was a few weeks ago. My daughter has just learned how to walk and naturally it follows that she is interested in ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING she shouldn't be. When I was making dinner she followed me into the kitchen and while I made sure to install cabinet locks a few weeks prior, I did not install locks on the silverware drawers, foolishly believing that she couldn't reach them. Apparently she can reach everything, even things that appear to be 17 feet above her head because she reached up and grabbed the drawer handle, which caused the drawer to go flying open for some reason, smashing my daughter in the forehead, which knocked her down onto the kitchen floor as steak knives flew through the air and gently landed around her like freshly fallen snow (she was fine).

10 minutes later she's still in the kitchen with me (BECAUSE I DON'T LEARN) and I realize she was being awfully quiet (BECAUSE I DON'T LEARN) and I look over and she's eaten the entire contents of the cat's food bowl (Iams Weight Control, for those interested).

My husband now watches her while I make dinner. Because I am clearly incapable of keeping my child alive while doing so.

[KBM]

Oh my, I needed this today. All too often, mothers (especially those who stay at home, I think) fail to be honest with one another about how terribly shitty days with small kids can be. I have twin one year olds who are cutting molars - as well as a 5 year old and a 6 year old who have been home on Christmas break for 15 days now. Wine is the least of my needs today.

As for bad parenting stories, I've yelled until hoarse; I've slammed doors so hard that pictures fell off the wall; I've sworn at babies. But my husband is the one who left the two year old alone in the house, sleeping, while he went to play video games (!) with a co-worker. I came home with the 3 year old to a note telling me, "I'm at Mike's." I immediately ran up the stairs to find my baby girl still napping in her new big girl bed. He still hasn't lived that one down. (It wasn't intentional - he forgot she was there. FORGOT!?!)

[cynematic]

I Made Two Boys Under the Age of 6 Cry: in which no one comes off well. not me, my 2 year old, or the kid who wasn't mine.

definitely a post to read BEFORE you reproduce.

[Lizarita]

This is probably not the worst thing that I've ever done, but it happened less than an hour ago so it's still on my mind...I let my 17 month old fall over the arm of the couch head first because I was too busy running my mouth to pay attention to her CATAPULTING over the edge. WORST.MOTHER.EVER.
(She's fine...I, however, may never recover.)

[Ree]

My kid is 16. He's survived. My memory? Not so much.

So, here's the most recent one.

Seriously. Please do not call Children's Protective Services. He's got a good 6 inches on me and 60 lbs.

I slapped his face. Because he was being a pain in the ass and bitching. And I didn't like his tone after dealing with bitches at work all day. And it was the FIRST TIME I EVER raised my hand to him in anger.

I cried (yes, he's 16. He was 16 when this happened) for HOURS afterwards.

So honey, I hate to tell you. It gets no easier. They survive. The question is...will we? _kisses_

[Pam]

My kids are now 20 and 16 but the bad mothering incidents are as fresh as the day they occurred.

Not only did I forget to buckle my first born's car seat in (the infant kind, where the strap goes over), I did it again 5 years later with his sister. Both were fine, but tipped completely over when I turned the first corner.

Oh, and when my daughter was about 4 or so, she opened the car door in a parking lot as someone was careening at a high rate of speed into the empty space next to us. My leap around the back of the car to save her.... still wakes me at night, panting for breath, and I run to her room to check on her again (she's the 16 y.o.).

To top it off, when they were 8 and 3, I kicked their dad out of the house and got divorced when all I may have really needed was some PPD medication. We are each now married to wonderful people, but I still regret breaking up my marriage. (Is that a different post/thread?)

[nadarine]

Bertha: sweet lord, that baby eating cat food is BRILLIANT. And hey, it's Weight Control food, so she must've got a lot of healthy nutrients, right?

and I'm not a mother (and so clearly should never be), but: a few years ago, I accidentally smacked a small child in the head with a shopping basket full of heavy objects in the grocery store. The child was autistic, though I did not know it at the time. The grocery clerk mentioned it to me, 20 minutes later, as everyone in line was bitching about those terrible screams coming from Aisle 3. Oops.

[pam]

Ree - one word: Therapy. It is the only reason my son (20) and I now like each other. He could have gone to live anywhere other than here, those 15-16-17 years. Its amazing we're both still alive.

If it helps, I undertand how/why you could do that, and as long as you tell him what drove you to it, and there's a common ground reached... it'll get better.

[EOMama]

Okay, I've gotta delurk to share some of my bad mom stories!

1. I cut the tip of my 4-month-old's thumb off while trying to trim her nails. It bled a lot, didn't leave a physical scar, but over 2 years later I still have to cut her nails in her sleep so she doesn't flip out...

2. I once told my one-year-old, who had been whining and crying all day, that "Mommy drinks because you cry." It was during a martini playdate, so I have witnesses.

3. My twins can use all sorts of four letter words in the proper context. I'm just waiting until they use them at school.

There are loads more, but I need to go drown my shame in some wine...

[Leanne]

How about the time when I was late for work & so frustrated with my 3-year-old daughter's refusal to get dressed, that I said "That's it, we're going", picked her up and took her, stark naked, out of the house & to the van. It was only a few steps from he door to the van, but it was somewhere around -10 deg C at the time. My husband, thank goodness, came to her rescue as I was fumbling for the carseat straps...I felt soooo low after that one.

[Jodi]

Oh geez...do I even put this in print? Let's see there was the time I told my daughter that if she didn't knock it off I was going to hurt her. That was a fine parenting moment. Or could it be the two times the police had to bring my son home because he escaped on his trike into the highway?

[Sonja]

My motto when my kids were, like 6-12 months, was that if I really needed them to be amused and quiet - like at a restaurant or something - then I would give them any object that fell into the category of "choking hazard." Guaranteed to keep them happy and occupied. Luckily, neither of my kids every choked on anything.

More recently, when my two year old threw food off of her highchair tray for the millionth time, I said to her, "Do I look like your maid?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized that, whether she thought it or not, I AM HER MAID. Then I laughed.

Overheard: My friend saying to her two year old godson, "Will you PLEASE stop whining and act like an adult?"

[jenny]

I took my 18 month(ish) old son to some sort of kid friendly fair thing. And because he was so well behaved and adorable the whole time, I decided to 'reward' him with french fries from McD's. Because he'd never had french fries before, he shoved handfuls into his mouth while laughing maniacally. As I was putting him down for a nap after we got home, he threw up every single french fry - STILL WHOLE - on my face. Awesome.

[erin]

Once, when my youngest was still taking only formula in a bottle, we forgot to give her the morning bottle at 8. At 9:30 my husband and I wondered why she was being so fussy (normally a happy-go-lucky baby) and figured she was tired. We put her to bed, crying, and let her cry for about 20 minutes before she finally fell asleep. It wasn't until she got up at 11am and got fussy again at 11:30 that we realized she didn't get breakfast. Oops.

And then we did the same thing again a few weeks later. Only that time we made her wait til 12pm to get her bottle so she wouldn't be "off her schedule". I'm a great mom, I promise.

[Kris]

I do that - the yelling until my throat hurts. And, I feel all shakey afterwards. Best. Parenting. Ever.

[amy]

Here ya go babe:
http://doobleh-vay.blogspot.com/2007/12/rainy-tuesday-morning.html

[BrooklynGirl]

Speaking of mittens....

You could take your two year old out for a walk on a really cold day and not insist that he wear his mittens because he puts his hands in his pockets when they're cold even though if he trips and falls with his hands in his pocket he breaks his fall with his...cheek.

A strong mothering moment that hopefully won't leave scars.

[Heather]

I've been there - hoarse throat from yelling, kids with eyes full of tears. Yeah, great parenting moments. :/

I just apologize to them and let them know Mommy got angry. It doesn't make it alright, but it makes it better.

[Frankie]

When my partners father died in a house fire, she initialy told our son that he had gone to sleep and just not woken up. Me, being scared to death that he would think that EVERYONE will simply go to sleep and not wake up, decided that it would be a better idea to tell him the truth. Like, the actual truth, about how there was a fire and he died trying to get out of his house...the whole gorey deal. He asked a few questions and then went to the table to eat his dinner. After about 5 minutes, he stared to weep, and then sob. Then he turned around and wailed "why did you tell me that?!?!"... he is 6. Mother of the year.

I have also yeslled SO LOUD at him that he has burst into tears.

Oh and I occasionally don't give him a bath becasue I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

I could seriously go on and on... in spite of it, he is a well adjusted happy healthy kid. I figure he has a guardian angel... LOL!

[Annie]

About 100 years ago when my daughter was 8, I was yelling at her about something (who knows?) and knocked a favorite knick-knack off a low shelf by being 'expressive' with my hands. She said, very snottily (you know, being 8 and worldly and all) "NOW look what you did!"

Then we both got real quiet, and her eyes got very large, and I made some primal screaming noises, and went to spank her. She backed up into the bathroom, knowing better than to show me her butt, and fell right into the tub, terrified, hurt (a little), and humiliated.

I sat right down on the floor and laughed so hard I cried.

Monster, I'm a monster.

[All Adither]

Yes, I'm bad too. Just today I was commenting (to several people within my children's earshot...nice, huh?) that two kids is too much for me, that I'm overwhelmed, that I have NO patience lately. I try really, really hard not to yell (though I still succumb), but my voice constantly has an edge to it. It seems I'm always annoyed with them, trying to get away from them, wishing they would leave me the F-alone for a while.

And then they do something cute or responsible and I am dizzy with love and feel wretched for all my snarkiness and meanness.

It's a big club we've got here. I wish I weren't a member. But I am. I suck.

[TC]

Well, there are the inadvertant worst parenting stories (http://tinycoconut.blogspot.com/2006/01/best-parents-ever.html) and then there are the very much advertant worst parenting stories. Like the time, just a week or two ago, when my 10-year-old daughter accidentally dropped her clarinet mouthpiece and I--not knowing that it only cost $10 to replace, and having just paid for a new transmission on the car, two unexpected tooth extractions, and four new tires on the other car with money we don't have--screamed, "I can't fucking believe you did that!" then smashed my hand into the french doors leading out to our back yard and burst into tears.

That was some classic parenting, right there, don't you think?

[Harriet]

Although I have plenty of stories like these of my own, in my favorite bad parenting moment story, I was on the receiving end. My parents were excellent and conscientious and I have very few scars, but I will never forget this moment -- nor will I ever let my father forget it. When I was 6 and my brother was 3, we'd had a particularly destructive week. I'd covered my bedspread with Silly Putty (I was trying to copy the pattern! Who knew it would stick forever?) and cut off the hair of my dolls. My brother had decorated his wood bed and part of the wall with what we thought were lovely, crayon designs. And I'm pretty sure some books got destroyed in there somewhere too. After the crayoning incident, my father called a family meeting in my brother's room. He began lecturing us about how destructive we were, about how we took our belongings for granted. "You just need to take care of your things and this house!" As he said the last word, he pounded his fist on the wall in exasperation...and punched a hole right through the drywall. Needless to say, this kind of undercut his message. But I've never laughed so hard in my life.

[Lisa C]

Exasperated because my daughter wouldn't stop thrashing about while I tried to change her poopy diaper, I slapped her on the back of the leg and screamed, "Stop it!"

She stopped thrashing, looked at me with wide eyes and started screaming, "You hit me! You just hit me!" I apologized over and over, but she just kept shouting at me with righteous indignation.

Now her little brother is two (almost three), and the other morning when I gave him a great big morning hug and kiss, he looked at me incredulously and said, "You're nice now!"

My husband read the confusion on my face and reminded me of how piteously I had screamed at the little tyke the previous day.

Other incidents include gripping an arm too tightly; screaming "Everybody shut up!" in the car; repeatedly slamming the same door door until I'm sure I won't hit a kid; crying, "I just can't take it any more," with my head in my hands; etc.

Otherwise, I'm generally known as a patient and loving mother. And I think I am...at least 90 percent of the time.

[Erin]

So I was reading and amused and thought, I have so many but nothing really specific comes to mind. I continued reading other blogs and was interrupted by the screaming of my 2 year old who had been upstairs in bed for an hour.

Apparently you shouldn't give a child a milkshake 48 hours after that child has been really sick (barfed 7 times in 6 hours) with a rotovirus. The poor thing has gas pains so bad that it has woken him up twice in the last hour to blast gas. I have had to rub his back to help him fall asleep while quietly apologizing over and over again for his stupid mommy.

So now I have something to write although I wish I had thought through the milkshake idea a little more. Obviously I am not in the running for the 2008 Mom of the Year award.

[Aisha]

Not a parent so no stories of myself, HOWEVER, I strongly recommend you request a one on one with Britney Spears, she might give you enough for a novella. :)

[daysgoby]

Joan of Arrrgh, I could swear that's a Jim Harrison quote...except he said that when they're 13, the decision should be made whether or not to hammer the bung in.

My GOD, you have some funny readers!

I just came off a day like that - 6 year old body-surfing on the clean laundry while the 3 year old giggles and throws up apple slices on the pile of clean sheets - and I screamed, something about quitting, about if this was a job I'd be so OUTTA HERE and how NOBODY SHOULD LIVE LIKE THIS!!! Bad Mom, etc. The 3 year old fell over (yes, face-first into her vomit) and the 6 year old looked at me and said seriously "But WE live like this!"

[Anne]

Uhm, how about the time I slapped with all my might my then-18-month old daughter's leg while changing her diaper because she was thoroughly enjoying kicking and kicked me right in the mouth, splitting my lip? Proud moment there.

[Melle]

No parenting stories yet, but I've been on the receiving end of a few...

When I was about two and a half, I'd taught myself to read. Proud as punch, I took my favourite book to my Mom and told her I could read and was going to demonstrate. She proceeded to tell me I couldn't read, and when I assured her I could, she told me I'd just memorized the story and insisted repeatedly that I couldn't. Hey, thanks!

Most recently, being new grandparents, Mom sent her favourite picture of The Granddaughter with this year's Christmas cards. Except originally that picture had me in it holding my niece. Mom cropped me out before having it printed.

Fortunately, we have a good relationship and I can make fun of her for this stuff. :)

[tulip]

Ok here's mine: My fucking MIL taught my daughter to jump on the bed "only at Gran's house". Yeah right. So begins the jumping on the bed at ANYONE'S house including her own. She was 2 1/2 and I could not get her to stop jumping on the bed and after one particularly bad afternoon, I took her bed away. I went crazy yelling and stripped the bed and TOOK IT APART while still crazily yelling and put it all out in the hallway. And that damn boxspring was heavy!! She slept on just a mattress on the floor for 6 months before I could admit to being a crazy person and gave her back her bed.
She still mentions it occasionally and it's been over a year. Gah. So yeah on the yelling. Somedays it's better than hitting! :)

[tulip]

I just remembered another one that happened last week. I'm known for banging things around the house when I'm frustrated and the other night my husband and I were trying not to fight in front of our daughter. So of course I was muttering and banging pots around and all of a sudden my daughter bursts into tears and says "Mommy you are making Daddy sad because you are frustrated!"
In that tiny little sad 3 year old voice. Worst. feeling. ever.

[Lisa]

Two situations come to mind. I have 5 kids now aged 22, 20, 18, 16 and 13. When they were younger and I had HAD it I would look up at the ceiling and say, "calgon! Take me away!" I found out a couple of years ago that the oldest was scared when I said that because she thought "calgon" was really going to take me away!

When my 20yr old DS was in middle school we had just gotten a wooden swingset that my husband had half way put together. We told the kids to stay off it because it was unsafe still. DS went on it anyway, fell off it and boy was I TICKED OFF! Served him RIGHT! I poo-pooed his saying it hurt until about 3 days later when I realized that he wasn't using his arm. At all. I took him to the doctor and found that he had broken his shoulder. Boy did I feel like I was a nominee for Mother Of The Year. Or not.

[Rachel]

Oh my... Where to start? But this commiserating definitely helps..

Mostly it's how quickly I can turn on that mean, sarcastic voice when he's just gotten on my last nerve..

or
http://didyouknowmommy.blogspot.com/2007/03/transparency.html

or at age 2 when he rolled out of his big boy bed during the first night in it and cried and cried. We got him to go to sleep w/us, thinking it was an ear thing. Next morning, the pediatrician deemed him ok, so we took him on the ferry to Port Townsend for the day, wondered why he was crabby, didn't want to play at the park (c'mon, CLIMB up that ladder!), and was eating w/his left hand. Next morning, a swollen shoulder and a trip to the ER showed us that he had broken his collarbone. Nice. I still have the trophy- "Mama of the Year 2005."

[They call me mom]

I love it all. It is so refreshing.
Our story goes like this: I put my three year old son to bed, in the big boy bed. Which he gets out of to go pee, get some water, wants the night light on, etc. An hour or so later I decide he is asleep and it's the perfect time to remove the moldy, dirty grout from around the bathtub.
My son comes in the bathroom, three more times, after I've been working on the grout and I flip out. Yelling until hoarse, hauling him back to bed, and slamming the bedroom door. (The whole sorted mommy mess.)
But there's more ... The next day we went to a friends birthday party where his behavior was not so cooperative.(Surprise) So I took him outside to talk to him for the third time. (I know, I know) Then in an attack of mommy schizophrenia - I saw one of his friends and took a picture, then turned the camera on him telling him 'Smile.'
It was about a year later as I was staring at one of my favorite pictures of my son; it's on the refrigerator, the one from the party. In it he is standing looking dead on to the camera with his hands on his hips. With this expression something like, 'lady what else do you want from me.'
It wasn't until then, that I realized I probably had kept the kid up from all the racket I was making in the bathroom. (Slooooow learner)
He is still so patient with his oh so, at times, impatient and irrational mother.

[Kren]

Where to begin? Babies falling down the stairs. Rolling off the couch. Being dropped. Hitting their heads on door jambs. Of course, that was all child's play (HAH HAH!!) compared with current-day highlights such as shrieking curses, slamming doors, throwing out toys, going through the merry trio of Naughty Chair, One-Two-Three, and Haul-Off-And-Slap, and, my personal favorite: "I hate you all!"

I do love them, really I do. As I often remark, it's a damn good thing they're cute. It might be the only thing saving them some days.

[Jules]

This post and these comments come at a great time, as I have been struggling with the yelling, crabby, and sometimes downright mean person I become on some days. I don't have a good specific story, but I just have been very grumpy about dealing with my kids lately, and it's good to know I am not alone - we all have these days (weeks? months?) when patience is low and tensions are high. I'm sure overall we are all wonderful parents and hopefully our kids won't remember the "Bad Mommy" moments! At least won't remember most of 'em ...

[Annie]

I used to struggle like a wild animal and whine whenever my mom brushed my hair ("It hurts! You are hurting me! I don't want my hair brushed!") no matter how gently she brushed. One time when I was six, she finally lost it and yelled at me to be quiet, then told me that she wasn't brushing my hair hard -- she would SHOW me what hard felt like.

Then she pulled too hard on a knot and ripped out a clump of hair on accident.

Despite some occasional freak out and bald spot, my mom was a really good mom and I turned out just fine.