Back by popular demand

So, you all want to hear about how Henry got himself born? Well, here you go.

As if that's not all, here's my Wonderland column for this week.

Comments

[MrsWaltz]

NEVER get bored with the birth day stories -- thanks for sharing! I myself had one of those much-too-late-whoops-nevermind-push-now epidurals with my firstborn so I totally sympathize.

[debl]

I forgot how freakin' funny that birth post was. I was literally LOLing at my desk. Bravo, dear.

[Amanda]

“Actually this isn’t so bad—MOOOOOOOOooooo—because between the contractions the pain just—uuummmmmmmmoOOOOOOO—sort of goes away and then you—MUUUUUUUUUMMMMMUUUHHHHHHH. You know?” Scott tried not to laugh.

AHAHAHAHAHA!

[joe]

i thought that being the same age and having the same birthday was a cute little coincidence, but i am even more pleased that you've linked to the exact post i was planning to reread at work today.

[Marge]

Thank you for giving me something to laugh at (and snort at, and tear up a little at) during my Friday afternoon at work.

[Zip n Tizzy]

Having lived in NY, and a cervix that went from zero to ten in an hour and a half, I found this post riveting. I fortunately lived 5 minutes away from the hospital, and (sadly) no longer in NY when I had my baby. I can't believe you made it all the way home on the subway, AND made it back!!! Great story!

[Kristen]

Just as funny reading it the second time. I had forgotten about the MOOOing!

[Jen]

I love the way you tell it!
(Kinda makes me happy about the c-section I had to have.)
Now, I have Johnny Cash in my head.
Dang.

[Madame Queen]

That was the best thing I've read in ages.

I'm going to be thinking about pooshing faces all weekend.

[schmutzie]

You are being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/06/five-star-friday-edition-12.html

[Barb]

Yay! And thank you.

[pooped like mad]

Awesome story! My experience involved ingesting the castor oil (it works) and giving birth at a teaching hospital. Nothing like having eight young nursing students feel your cervix as you projectile vomit. I think I singlehandedly changed many career paths that day. Good times, good times.

Now, having had things planned for the evening, I must forgo it all to re-read every post you've ever written. Damn, you are one funny girl!

[Celine]

I was laughing so hard when I read about Henry's birth I was crying. Just so you know.

[Not On Fire]

That was hilarious. I was laughing so hard that my husband wanted to know why. We both had a good laugh. Although I did have a momentary qualm about enjoying your pain, I did not let that hold me back.

My labour seems so dull by comparison.

Thanks again for the laugh.

[cartoongoddess]

After reading that, I'm laughing so hard, I've got tears streaming down my face. No one can tell it quite the way you do.

Thanks!

[Samantha]

I love reading of other woman's labor stories, but I have to say this has been the best yet.
You are a riot!!!!

[Michelle]

A beautiful - and somewhat scary - birthing story.

[Patty]

I hope that someday when I push a human from my vagina that I can remember to note all the funny instances for recording later.
You are just hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

[Mauigirl]

Great story about Henry's birth...thanks for the link back to it!

[deidre]

Alice, what a great post!

I actually was born in a car - and it is indeed a good story. It involves a policeman, a subaru, and a no U-turn.

[prc]

Thank you. That was an excellent story. I lauged, I cried. It was all very very familiar, too. The day my daughter was born, I had been to appts with my OB and a perinatologist, and told them I'd been having painful contractions all morning. They said "OK, but this could go on for awhile. See you next week". Things started to get intense on the subway back to work, but all the docs had JUST told me nothing was imminent. Plus, the whole thing how they tell you NOT to go to the hospital. I sat at work, in very painful labor all day. Everyone else around me was VERY concerned, as I moo'ed while asking them work-related questions. At 4:15 I finally called my doc who told me to come in. I asked a friend to drive me to the hospital. It took about an hour to get from Long Island City to Roosevelt. I was 7cm. Annika was born 3 hours later. The part about not actually pushing while making a pushing face was great - I did that too. Anyhow, thanks.

[DM]

Read this, laughing hysterically, tears running down my face and thinking "Wow, this is the best thing I've ever read ever."

And then I found my comment from the last time I read it. Huh. Perhaps I should start taking ginko again since I don't remember reading it the first time.

[Michele]

I started chuckling at "pooshing," but completely lost it when I got to the "mooing" part. Oh My God!

Too, too funny. Thanks!

[dawn]

2 thoughts:
1. makes me feel better about the impending birth of my first.
2. replace baby with diarrhea and williamsburg with parkslope & we have identical stories.

[Anna Marie]

Whew! (wiping tears off my cheeks) that was FUNNY.

[Jenn]

"Go, Alice, Go"...Jerry Orbach...
OMG. I have tears running down my face from reading that post.

Absolutely beautiful.

[lesli]

Your birth story is by far the most funny I've ever read. Mooing! Oh my God! I am crying at my desk laughing; I hope no one comes in and asks me what's wrong.

[Dawn]

Only you could make pain so entertaining. I really needed that laugh right now.

I bypassed the labour and mooing and went straight to the buzz saw. It seemed the most efficient way, really.

Moo. MOOOOOO!

[Tammy]

Oh my god, that was awesome. And it reminds me why I'm so insanely happy to be done with birthing.

With my first baby, I had one of those intense sudden-onset labours, but I decided to go to the hospital after just 40 minutes. No one in L&D believed I was in serious labor till they checked and I was 7 cm dilated. I wanted to yell "I TOLD YOU SO" but I was too busy mooing.

My second labour started off more manageably, but ramped up at the 45-minute mark, and the baby was born 20 TOTALLY INSANE minutes later. (Yup, one hour and six minutes total labour time. Trust me, though: it wasn't as great as it sounds.)

[RLJ]

Brilliant! Been there, done the "pushing face" with DS1 (and epidural); second time (a mere 8 weeks ago), no epidural and only 2 hours noticed and my god did I discover what "the need to push" meant!
And here it is, all described in song... (by someone WAY funnier than me, but possibly on a par with ms finslippy herself)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM2CORdyv8k

[KMS]

That was perhaps the most hilarious thing I have ever read....and now everyone at work knows I'm goofing off and not writing boring documentation. Thank you!

[rowena]

Okay, that was good. Thanks so much for reposting it. I had my own rush to labor, missing the taxi, the hospital and the ambulance, and having my very own bundle of joy at home in Brooklyn. No mooing involved. Just the dad thinking he should tie off the cord with the dirty shoelace ripped out of his shoe.

It made the nurses laugh, when we finally did get to the hospital.

[Joanne]

Awesome! I was laughing so hard there were tears running down my face as I tried not to make a sound and wake the sleeping one year old by my side.

[Amyinbc]

I wish I could write like this. Amazing birth story, thank you.

[kkjayne]

I laughed, then I cried and then I really really hoped that I would make it to the hospital before all these fun and games (I'm expecting my second in Sept, my first labour was only 12 hours).