I leave for one week, and my son turns into a twelve-year-old.
Henry: My shoe feels funny.
Me: Do you want to take it off?
Henry (sighing): I'll live.
*
Henry (sniffling): I'm not going to camp anymore. I'm staying in bed until I'm ten.
Me: Let's discuss that tomorrow, shall we?
Henry: Tomorrow I'm going to remember this crying fit. And I’m going to remind you that we agreed I could stay in bed.
Me: Good night.
Henry: Until I'm TEN.
*
Henry's friend Sofia: (nonsensical babbling about something or other)
Henry: What?
Sofia: I know, right?
Henry: I didn't say "WHA??!!!", I said "what."
LMFAO. That's adorable. I'm strangely jealous - like wanting my 2 year old to hurry up and grow up, while also thinking "STOP GROWING! STOP IT! WHERE DID MY BABY GO?" haha
Posted by: Jen E | July 22, 2008 at 12:06 PM
You know, of all the fake internet people with kids that I know, yours makes me laugh the hardest.
Posted by: Taylor | July 22, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Nope. If he were 12, he wouldn't be talking to you.
Posted by: SuburbanCorrespondent | July 22, 2008 at 12:24 PM
The tone with which I picture Sophia saying, "I know, right?" is unbelievably priceless.
Posted by: Miss Grace | July 22, 2008 at 12:32 PM
Clearly, you can tell that Henry spent a week along with Scott from his first comment - LOL!!
Posted by: Anne Prince | July 22, 2008 at 01:15 PM
That is too funny! Every night I say to my baby (who actually is still a baby), "stay little, stay little." I am so not ready for all of that big kid stuff.
Posted by: Cara | July 22, 2008 at 01:29 PM
Oh. My God. That's hysterical.
Evidently, he also turned into a Jewish mom in that first one. Can't you just hear it? "I'll live...God fahBID you have to be inconvenienced. Bettah my foot should fall off..."
(also said in the best NYC accent)
...maybe in a previous life..?
Posted by: Trish | July 22, 2008 at 01:30 PM
These snippets are so sweet and fun. The "I'll live" comment makes me picture Henry as a 50+ lady who should have lived her life instead of regretting she didn't do it. Fantastic.
Posted by: Drew | July 22, 2008 at 01:48 PM
Hilarious!
My favourite? "I didn't say 'whaaaa?!' I sad 'what.'"
Adorable.
Posted by: A | July 22, 2008 at 01:55 PM
That is so motherfucking sweet...
Time: Last Saturday
Setting: Previews for "Wall-E" -- some upcoming film having to do with a Little League team of Mexican boys ... White men making racist, ignorant comments to/about them.
My 7-year-old companion: (waves hand dismissively and stage whispers) I hate Americans.
Posted by: dianne | July 22, 2008 at 02:01 PM
I just got back from a week at the cottage with my 16 year old niece.....now there's some FUN!!! Although I do need to tape record her rant for "Everyone to JUST SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO SLEEP" at 8:30 a.m. as it managed to get my two boys, ages 6 and 4, to stay in bed every morning cowering in fear of retribution
Posted by: MotherhoodTheUltimateSurvivor | July 22, 2008 at 02:38 PM
In your world Henry says, "I'll live."
In my world Noah and/or Tessa say, "OH MY GOOD MY FOOT IS KILLING ME! I'M GONNA DIIIEEEE!!! LIKE THE POOR DOOOOOGGGG!!! GET IT OOOFFFF!!!"
Can I just come be you for a little while?
http://notesfromthesleepdeprived.blogspot.com
Posted by: Wendy | July 22, 2008 at 02:55 PM
Jen E. nailed it. I couldn't wait for my son to be a toddler, then a school kid and now, at 8, I'll turn to him and say "Stop growing up, I forbid it." His response, "I'm gonna keep growing until I die. And you can't stop me." Fair enough.
Posted by: Gray Matter Matters | July 22, 2008 at 03:32 PM
Ha! Henry rocks.
Posted by: Ally | July 22, 2008 at 04:33 PM
How did Henry channel my mother? By goodness, Alice, I come to your blog to get AWAY from reality.
Love the post, would also love to hear some Blogher love, please.
Posted by: Jen | July 22, 2008 at 04:41 PM
That last one is killing me. Dead.
Posted by: Beth | July 22, 2008 at 04:58 PM
SO good! Henry is the best! He & Sofia sound like an old married couple.
Jules
House of Jules
Posted by: HouseofJules | July 22, 2008 at 05:42 PM
Oh my gosh, too funny!
Posted by: Rachael | July 22, 2008 at 07:00 PM
At this rate he'll be what, 35 when he's twelve? The good thing is: Far more earning potential. Also he can drive you to the store.
Posted by: Mom101 | July 22, 2008 at 07:51 PM
You don't say how old Sofia is, but for some reason her saying "I know, right?" to Henry just cracks me up! Great to meet you this weekend!
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 22, 2008 at 08:43 PM
If Henry is 12, he can laugh at jokes with my husband. You know, jokes about poop, butts and boobs.
Posted by: MissusB | July 22, 2008 at 09:42 PM
The same thing happened to me. I called my son while I was gone. Normally he calls me Mommy, right? Cuz he's four. But when I called him, he said, "Hey, Mom. I don't miss you."
I leave for four days, and suddenly, I'm no longer Mommy. I'm Mom.
*sniffle*
Posted by: jaelithe | July 22, 2008 at 10:44 PM
how do they grow up so fast???
Posted by: judy haley (coffeejitters) | July 22, 2008 at 11:49 PM
Oh wow, that is so funny! What an awesome kid.
Posted by: Jenn | July 23, 2008 at 01:15 AM
One day while you were away we came home and Henry was in the back yard playing with Sofia so we waved hello and said "Hi Henry!" Henry then very formally introduced us to Sofia, saying "Hi, this is my friend Sofia!" So we said "nice to meet you, Sofia!" as if we didn't already know her.
Henry is priceless.
Posted by: Mauigirl | July 23, 2008 at 10:09 AM
i loved meeting you last week.
Posted by: magpie | July 23, 2008 at 12:05 PM
It was lovely having the honor of handing you a napkin at the Friday night party. Heh.
And it was great chatting with you! What an inspirational weekend.
Posted by: Cecily | July 23, 2008 at 02:39 PM
He's hilarious.
Posted by: Ree | July 23, 2008 at 03:31 PM
"Until I'm TEN."
Love that.
Posted by: Keetha | July 23, 2008 at 03:44 PM
that isn't 12, it's 10. welcome to my world.
Posted by: kat | July 23, 2008 at 08:09 PM
Hysterical. The funny thing is, when you hear your kid say something like that...you know who he learned it from!
Posted by: MamaCass | July 23, 2008 at 09:48 PM
That is wonderful and hilarious. Aren't you lucky? I also have Gifted kids but neither are so dry and sarcastic. Will have to work on that. My coaching is lagging. My favourite was him calling you "unpersonable".
Posted by: Natasha | August 29, 2008 at 10:13 AM