Dear neighbors.

Today on the way home from the playground we ran into Brian, aka Looky Daddy, and his clan. Henry had his t-shirt hiked up so that the headhole was circling his face. He asked Sharon, aka Mrs. Looky Daddy (I think she's going to pummel me for calling her that, but oh well) if he looked cool, and she observed that he looked like a "white ninja." Because the t-shirt was white, you see. I believe she might have said something about white ninjas being the coolest, or extra-super dangerous. Something.

So when my son was running down the block, shouting, "White ninjas are the best! If you want to be a good ninja, you have to be a white ninja! WHITE NINJAS RULE"? That was why.

Just so we're clear on that.

Comments

[SparklieSunShine]

Priceless parenting moments.

[throwingutah]

I'd like to buy a "y," please, Alice.

(you might want to spell-check that link there)

[geekgrrl]

See, now you're going to have to go and buy him a Shirt Ninja Figurine: http://store.reallifecomics.com/cart.php?target=product&product_id=8&category_id=3

Though the shirt is cheaper, and perhaps, more kid-friendly:
http://store.reallifecomics.com/cart.php?target=product&product_id=4&category_id=1

;)

[HouseofJules]

To quote a much younger Henry, "MANNERS!" :) You could definitely put together a "Henryisms" quote book.
Jules
House of Jules

[suburbancorrespondent]

Gosh, now all you need is the cloak and hood...

[Brian]

Woman, do not try to lay your son's racism on my doorstep. Some of our best friends are black ninjas.

[ozma]

Works for me, Alice. Context is everything.

You are making me wish I could write my complex explanations of my child's questionable behavior and have it float over my head somehow. Like a written disclaimer.

For some reason, when I try to give the spoken disclaimer, it always sounds so pathetic and lame. I tend to need a lot of words, for one. But by the time I've laid out the whole scenario explaining her inadvertently offensive or problematic actions the hearer is already looking at me suspiciously.

I need one of those scrolling textboxes floating under me like they have on Fox News to put in my excuses and explanations to the world, my constant, constant constant explanations.

[Elaine]

You should check out http://www.whiteninjacomics.com. Probably not appropriate for the whole family, but it'll certainly solidify your opinion of how cool white ninjas really are.

[Lee Anne]

LOL! A friend of mine had a funny toddler experience. Her son knows cows are black and white. He saw a large-ish woman wearing a white and black spotted shirt and would NOT stop saying, "Look Mama, COW!COW!" Gotta love kids!

[Anne Prince]

Probably not the best thing to yell when running around in the 'hood.

[Nancy]

I had a similiar experience with my son...only he was 15. He needed new tennis shoes for marching band, and they had to be at least 60% white in color. We went to the big athletic footwear store at the mall, and a very nice African-American young man was helping us. My son and I kept picking up different shoes and asking each other, "Do you think they're white enough?" I didn't realize until we left how it must have sounded to the salesperson who seemed to become more and more sullen as we checked out the merchandise...oops

[carrie]

When our niece was about 3, my husband was laughing at her inability to jump up and reach the balloons available for kids at the restaurant where we were eating. (Of course, he wasn't helping; just laughing.) He told her that she couldn't jump high enough because she was white. And she happily started shouting "I'm WHITE! I'm WHITE!"

And Uncle Paul was never left alone with the children again.

[MotherhoodTheUltimateSurvivor]

My kids embarrass me on a daily basis. Most embarrassing? Sitting on the train and the man in front of us - FACING US - was overweight. Oldest son blurts out - "why is he fat?"

In case you're wondering....no matter how much you pray, the floors won't actually open up and swallow you.

[sel]

At least we were in the privacy of our own home when our [caucasian] 6 year old emerged from his room, dressed in black head to toe, shouting "I'm gonna be a black man today!"

[Why Mom Drinks Rum]

To flipping funny!

See, at that age this stuff is still cute & funny.

Walking down a hiking trail, with your 10 year old giving a detailed audio-representation of the sounds she heard coming from Mom and Dad's room last night....not so cute or funny.

[Robin]

When talking to some coworkers many years ago, I told them how my brother met his wife online and that they had the perfect, white baby.

I immediately realized that I was a moron and ran to my supervisor and explained that I was a moron and couldn't believe I said such a stupid thing. (She laughed and said no one would think I was a racist ... I still don't believe her. What kind of person says such a thing.)

My face says the stupidest things sometimes.

[Wendy]

I sure hope they don't TP your house tonight. lol. Surely anyone would realize the connection between the white shirt and the white ninja.

My son (from a previous relationship) teases my daughter (a half-Filipina) and tells her she's not white. Often it happens in the middle of the mall. He's screaming, "You're not even white!" and she's screaming, "Me is white!" Yep. Pretty embarrassing.

[Travel Savvy Mom]

My son is now 6.5 and has been obsessed with skin color for the longest time.

He has friends of all colors, and will often talk about their skin colors. We are pink. Jack is pink. Sean is beige. Kai is brown. And so on.

Awkward, but also sort of cute. Also, I really don't think we're technically pink...

[Mauigirl]

Remember when the Crayola crayon now known as "peach" was called "flesh"??? Hard to imagine nowadays as we are all so conscious of these things.

[Heather O]

The other day as I was changing my sons diaper he tells me "Daddy Kicks" (he was referring to his new favorite game with daddy..soccer) and "No Mommy Hurt" (we were putting on PJs with a zipper that once pinched his skin). Then he yelled "NO MOMMY TOUCH" as I gently applied powder to his bottom. I am pretty sure that once he repeats these things to his daycare providers during a diaper change I will be getting a visit from Child Protective Services.

[Karen]

My boyfriend's aunt has an autistic son. He is about 12 now and one day out of the blue he declared to us that he was going to be a black man when he grows up. He got so confused when his mother told him that was not possible. He just did not understand why he could not be a black man when he grew up. The innocence was priceless.

[Sheila]

Maybe you should stick an Obama bumper sticker to his backpack, just in case he persists with his White Ninja! obsession.

[anna]

White ninjas throw flaming stars, right?

[anne]

of course. he's a white ninja supremacist.

[Stephanie]

Wow, that is hilarious!

[Jen]

Keeping Henry in sight from a pace of 25 feet would keep him safely in your radar and let you still have that look of "I don't know this child" on your face.
Truly priceless!

[Erin]

White ninjas are extra super dangerous. Haha! Well no wonder... that's every little boy's DREAM to be extra super dangerous ;-)

Also, "Mrs. Looky Daddy", that's too funny.

[Jemima]

You have White Ninja. I have Inexplicable Afro-Hispanic Love Child, thanks to MakeMeBabies.com. Damn you, Great Grandmother! I knew the truth would come out eventually!