Join me, won't you, as I wallow for a bit?

My physical therapist is giving me a complex. Is he supposed to do that? Is that included in his list of services?

I was hoping to just get this shoulder pain treated, but apparently the rest of me is in complete shambles. It's a wonder that I'm ambulatory. The first thing he observed, as every medical professional I have ever seen or walked by or made out with wants to tell me, is that my shoulders are hunched forward. Yes, I know, and you know what? They've always been like that, and there's apparently nothing I can do about it. I am a freak. There, are you happy? Are you satisfied, medical professionals of the world? I have freaky narrow shoulders that are bizarrely tipped forward. I thought it was a likeable slouch, but apparently it is WRONG and CRAZY and needs to be TSK-TSKED over.

And that's not all!

"Did you know that your torso is twisted over to one side?" the therapist asks.

I sigh. I actually did know that. "It's come up," I said.

"Does your back hurt?"

"Sort of. Yes. Pretty much always." I like to just not think about it, Physical Therapist Guy, but now that you're reminding me, OW. THANKS.

Then:

"Your right hip is twisted, as well."

"That might be because of the, uh, club foot."

"You have a club foot?"

"Well, I did, at least that's what they called it, but they treated it when I was little. So now it's okay."

He frowns. "Except it's thrown off your entire right side."

"I'm sorry," I murmur. Why am I apologizing?

Then he tries to twist my neck in some sort of impossible direction.

"Ow."

"That hurts?"

No, ow is my mantra. "Yup."

"Your neck is extraordinarily stiff. I could only move it this much. " He shows me a tiny increment with his two fingers. "I should be able to move it this much," he says, and swivels his head 360 degrees. (I exaggerate, but less than you might think.)

Well, kudos. Aren't you nimble! I will call you Mr. Nimbles! "Wow," I say.

"Yeah. That's a problem."

And it is only the beginning of my problems. The biggest one is that, after seeing him four times, after having been manipulated and stretched and prodded and told how stiff and inflexible I am, the pain in my arms is worse than ever. "Your body's not healing itself," he tells me. Then he takes my blood pressure, which is, according to him, alarmingly low. Technically I shouldn't be alive. All my blood should be pooling around my ankles—my freaky ankles.

I'm supposed to go for blood tests, because, I don't know, he's concerned about my liver? Honestly I stopped listening after a while. I should probably just go to someone else, someone who'll make me feel not quite so misshapen and hopeless. He's not saying things I didn't already know, so I can't blame him entirely. But no one else has made me feel quite so unfixable.

He also told me not to eat too much sugar, because it will impede my healing. But really, after you make me feel that bad, you think I'm not going to go home and eat cookies? Well, you don't know everything, Mr. Body Smarts Guy.

Comments

[Carrie]

I'm so sorry! Please, just go to a new doctor! But not this guy:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/health/chi-delivery-lawsuit-16-dec16,0,1637494.story

[The Window Seat]

You know, I once had a doctor like this and saw her for years! And then one day I gave myself a stern talking to in the mirror and found a new doctor and it was the best thing I ever did. Ever.

I'm so sorry!

[SparklieSunShine]

Why do physical therapist have a way of making people feel this way? I had to go to one for many months after a particularly bad car accident and my person was constantly making remarks like this.

"You know, your right shoulder is quite a bit higher than your left one and it's causing problems in your back."

or

Me: Ow!
Him: Hmm...that really shouldn't hurt you. Your very tense for someone your age I don't know how much this is helping.

They really need to be more positive. Sorry yours made you feel so down. Maybe you should seek out someone else. They may be telling you the same sorts of things, but they don't have to make you feel the way that yours seems to.

In any case I hope your body aches are feeling much better soon.

[exile on mom street]

I absolutely HATE doctors who try to make me feel irresponsible (regarding my health) or stupid or BOTH.

It's worse if they can't actually make me better.

Please find someone else, Mr. Nimbles obviously isn't cutting it!

[liz]

Get a new doctor. 'Cause that one? SUX.

[w.]

Oh dear. Have you considered trying a chiropractor? Your complex-inducing therapist aside, the issues sound like joint-related things and with regards to those problems I've always had MUCH better luck with chiropractors.

Also I take my weekly/monthly dose of Living On The Edge in that split second where the chiropractor is about to adjust my neck and I feel like she could kill me at any moment. :)

[Susan]

You should clearly see a new physical therapist. Even if there are things on your body not working correctly, it's not his job to make you feel like some sort of failure for it. Switch!!

[Anne]

Yuck! Have you tried finding a good massage therapist instead? Maybe through a friend? If you lived near Chicago I know exactly where I'd send you (and if you're coming to blogher here I can send you then!), but I find my massage therapist is much nicer about working with me and the way my body is to make me feel/move better without giving me a complex about the fact that my hips turn out and all sorts of parts of me are either too tight or too loose (make all the jokes you want, I giggled writing that). It isn't covered by insurance, of course, but it is very much worth it to me.

[Ronin]

Um Alice? Physical therapist does NOT equal doctor. There are so many people out there with very distorted notions about medicine, and I fear that you have found yourself one. When he started talking about eating less sugar, that is when you should have began sidling towards the nearest exit. Please please PLEASE find yourself a new PT, and if you truly feel concerned about the issues he brought up, talk to somebody with the letters MD after their name.

[Kriss]

Oh, whatever, Mister Condescending Slim Goodbody Wannabe.

Treat yourself to a massage; then find a different PT.

[Erin @ Unclutterer]

I recommend alcohol in the place of sugar. I'm making pisco punch this evening and think you should, too:

http://dcist.com/2008/12/05/dcist_videos_how_to_make_pisco_punc.php

[Clairebell]

Are you sure he's not a chiro? It sounds like a spiel. PTs are only supposed to treat what they are told to treat by your ACTUAL MD. Go tattle on him to your MD post haste.

Also? PTs are NOT MDs and should not be giving medical Dx or advice. But they ARE in the business of pushing you past your limits to increase function and mobility in joints and limbs. So, cordial but serious? Sure. Doom & gloom? No.

Good luck.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Since when did you agree to hand over a co-pay for someone to point out your flaws. It's like going to a dermatologist to treat your acne, and they sit there and say, "You know? You have acne." I'm surprised they didn't hand over your medical license sooner, Scooter.

[Chiara]

*hug* Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. Being in pain all the time sucks. I hope you find some relief soon.

[Tammy]

Actually, I think cookies are exactly what you need. Multiple flavors. And somebody to feed them to you.

[Kristine]

I agree, find a new doctor! ASAP!

[madge]

You are going to get a thousand recommendations of Things To Do Besides PT, so I'll throw my log on the fire...

ROLFING! Otherwise known as Structural Integration. Manipulation of the muscle fascia to straighten you out. Gets you realigned without cracking the sh*t out of your joints like a chiropracter. It's like a beatdown and a massage all in one.

Self-flagellation with some stroking after is my kind of body work!

[Beatrix]

Find someone else with better bedside manner.

[emjaybee]

Hey my son has a PT, and he's miles better than this dude. And my son is three, so if he was snarky, I could understand, but our PT is patient, encouraging, and never tries to make me or Nathan feel bad. Nathan was born with his physical issues (hyperflexibility, hypotonia), so were you, why should either of you be made to feel bad?

So I add my voice to the "move on!" chorus. You deserve better!

[derfina]

Wallow away. No pain, no gain and all that rot be damned.

[Lori L.]

Yep, agreeing with most everybody here... PT can be a wonderful help, so definitely need to exercise your "patient power" and get a new one.

I deal with a weird torticollis that was not treated as a child, and now impedes my neck movement and messes with my spine, so I feel your pain, so to speak. PLEASE stick with your PT, just switch. There. Two cents, please.

[whoorl]

Yup, it's time for a new physical therapist. What a turd.

[Michelle]

Hey there

just wanted to add my 2cents - you could try a massage therapist as well - or you could even try craniosacral therapy - you can look up craniosacral therapy at the Upledger institude, it can help a multitude of problems.

Sorry to hear that your not feeling better - has he even suggested you have an epsom salt bath after the tx? Epsom salts are really good for helping to pull the toxins out of your body after a treatment.

Michelle

[betsy]

I went to physical therapy three times a week for two years after neck surgery...surgery where they put 5 cadavor bones (yes, I sometimes see dead people now) and a titanium brace in my neck to hold my head up again. The guy doing it was hot..at first. But then, he was so not hot as he began to tell me everything that was wrong with my body. Didn't I mention to him in the beginning that I was just out of surgery, that I had been walking around with a collaspsed neck for three years unbeknownst to me? Didn't he get the note from my doctor? Yes, he heard me, yes he'd read the note, he'd say. Well then, shut the hell up about all the other stuff that was a side effect of having a neck that did not hold up my head any more. One day I told him straight up that my neck had collasped because my long ago ex-husband used to think it was fun to choke me and that his final blow had taken eight years to land. That guy never said another word to me about anything! And, he was never hot again.

[Jamie]

This guy sounds like the dentist I had as a kid- he would always tell me how messed up my jaw formation was, or how all my teeth didn't fit right, or that my nose was out of line. After they pulled 6 of my teeth without anesthesia my mom finally figured out he was a quack. RUN!

[Taryn]

I always end up at doctors like this - they're all Dr. Doom. Low blood pressure and bad posture - so what? You're still here, so it must be working for you!

[Veronica]

Oh geez, I just had the exact same thing happen. Only my Physio told me that I had the worst joints and muscles she had ever felt and tsk'd the whole time.

Now I'm undergoing testing for EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Fun times.

[DiaryofWhy]

Eek. And ow. And aw. I am also crooked, which is always mentioned when I visit a new doctor. I always kind of want to say, "And my ears stick out and I have chicken legs! Would you like to point those out too?!"

[Marinka]

oh GOD! I thought "physical therapy" was supposed to be code for "massage" or something.

[Ginny]

I, too, am "flawed" physically, or so I've been told...who's perfect, by the way? I always wonder if yoga would help...of course, it's just another entry for my To-Do list. Sigh. Hope you're feeling better soon, Alice.

[Erin]

Chiropractor. Seriously. He or she might find all of the same things to be out of whack, but he or she will also FIX THEM instead of just making you feel unfixable. Which you are not. Seeing one was the best decision I ever made. Quotes from my appt to follow as proof:

Her: "Did you know you rib cage is out of alignment on the left side?"

Me: "Would that be why I've had a strange muscle spasm in the middle of my back for years?"

Her: "Uh, yeah."

And then she fixed it and something that hurt me for years did not hurt anymore. We had a similar conversation about my left hip. Apparently the left side of my body likes to get all screwed up while the right side of my body takes it's responsibilities more seriously.

Anywho. Good luck! You are fixable!

[Nelking]

My list in order of things I did to fix my neck that wouldn't turn left.

Two rounds of PT and special exercises
1 series of Rolfing and special exercises
Massage and special exercises
Chiropractor and Massage and special exercises

And for now the Chiropractor is magic.

You never know what'll work, but you have to make the decisions for yourself.

Oh and take a multi vitamin

[Erin]

I can deeply relate to your frustrating and i felt like reaching out to you somehow.

it's unfortunate, the medical view of disability is that there is some physical norm and all the rest are deviations. which just makes all their treatments designed to take those deviations and force them to resemble the norm as closely as possible.

and yet, we are so adaptable and our goals as individuals regarding how we want to use and live in our bodies is so vast and flexible.

if your physical therapist doesn't ask you how your pain impacts your life and how you want to live it and what your goals are with therapy and instead *tells* you how your affected, and what your goals should be, it probably wont be a very integrative, succesful process.

i wish for you that you find a therapist/therapy that integrates their understanding and knowledge of healing, with your goals and the natural (for you) shape your body has taken.

I hope your body finds compassion.

Erin.

[Jessica]

Affirmations: I am flexible in mind, body, and spirit.

I stand tall and proud, opening outward to the world, and trusting it to embrace me.

I am Alice Bradley, you gonna make something of it?

Cured.

[Lori]

I'd have gone home and drunk a bottle of wine because, you know, wine is healthy.

[HeyJoe]

Therapist: You're messed up. Look at how deformed and misshapen you are.

Alice: I am not an animal, I am a human being.

Therapist: You wouldn't know it to look at that hip of yours. In therapist school we had to dissect a fetal pig who, in his spare time was a practicing Yogi contortionist. I mean this little guy used to twist himself up and squeeze into this little plastic box. It was amazing. Anyway, his hips were less f*cked up than yours.

Alice: And how about my club foot?

Therapist: I'd keep that. It's a real bonus for soccer. KAPOWIE! Seriously.

[Grace]

Sheesh. So sorry to hear about this. I've had both good and bad.

One of my legs is shorter than the other and yes it does cause some issues. I over-compensate by clenching my butt all the time when i walk and so I have these really painful gluts and my back is prone to going out. blah blah blah. It's fairly common because we are humans!

I try not to lift stupidly heavy things (anymore), exercise, and get a massage at least 3 times a month to stay limber. It is expensive, but it is worth every penny.

I am not an expert, I'm just saying that I have learned how to cope (AND have a hot masseuse rub me down every once and awhile).

Your merry christmas is his number if you are ever in the Chicagoland area.

[Brian]

Well I, for one, glad your p.t. had the courage to say it. I've stopped coming over because looking at your twisted and misshapen body has begun to give me vertigo.

[Brian]

And night sweats.

[Marin]

Hm. He sounds...negative? Telling someone all the things that are "wrong" with them is so far from constructive. I'd find another guy. And you seem quite far from this viewpoint, but try not to end up on the "I must always go to physical therapy because I am so messed up and always in pain" train; my friend's mom is on it and it's ridiculous.

[Shevon]

I'm a massage therapist, and I totally recommend the Rolfing. It's a great way to get your body back on track, but it's not cheap! Regular massage would help you stay in good alignment, like once or twice a month. It has to be therapeutic massage though, none of that relaxation stuff. That stuff is for vacation!

[Allison]

I'm all for the finding a new doctor suggestion, but seriously, when I had hip problems over the summer, my physical therapist pointed out that one of my legs is over 1cm shorter than the other. And this is what has caused my recurring problems with all joints on my left leg. I got a lift, and things are much better these days.

[patois]

Funny thing you mention all that. I'm in similar straits -- tho no freakish ankles or formerly club feet -- and the ortho doctor and GP have ganged up and pointed to my thyroid as being the culprit to why I've not healed since my recent flare up many months ago. Tests, tests, tests. And now meds. No better yet, but I've not been doing them a long time. (My liver, like my ankles and feet, is A-OK, however.)

[NTE]

Ah, can I sympathize: It's like when my doctors tell me that something seemingly catastrophic is wrong ("Hey: your liver is shutting down!") but they don't know why, and then WITHOUT ANY SENSE OF IRONY turn around and say to me "You should really avoid stress." I'm sorry? Do you not realize that YOU are causing me stress?

Seriously: find a new guy. It's a hassle, but it'll wind up being worth it.

I'm sorry he sucks so bad.

[Anonymous New York]

New doctor, massage, from husband or professional (Oasis Day spa is having specials), bottle of wine, chocolate chip cookie from Jacques Torres. I won't even charge you for this stellar advice.

[Stu]

what do you expect from a physical therapist? he's trying to fix you not make you feel all hearts and flowers. Kudos to him for trying to find the underlying causes.

[alice]

Right, and I'm not allowed to have any feelings about it. And the fact that he's "fixing" me in a way that makes me feel like crap, well, that's par for the course? Good to know. You're a delight, Stu! Thanks for dropping by.

[karen l]

Physical therapists like to play doctor. My mom has been dealing with probs of Parkinsons - her therapist couldn't figure out why she couldn't hold her head up. HELLO Mr. Therapist! That's a symptom of Parkinson's! Ask him very professionally to address the issue that your REAL doctor wrote the orders for! Then say your MEDICAL DOCTOR will write more orders if anything else needs to be addressed.

[greenduckiesgirl]

I went to physical therapy and all they did was give me moist heat therapy (which, hey, was great and helped me relax but did nothing to fix my back). I've been seeing a chiropractor for about six months and the majority of my pain is gone. And I can move my neck to the left now. He's big on the health tips and everything but he never makes me feel like crap. Considering that I'm 41 and incredibly overweight, it's nice to see someone who makes helpful suggestions and doesn't give guilt trips. Plus I told my doctor I was seeing one and she was fine with it.

While the information he's telling you is true, he definitely should be putting it in a better manner. And Stu obviously doesn't have a clue.

Good luck, no matter what you decide.

[vbd93]

health professionals should never make you feel bad about yourself. i learned that when my then-infant son needed physical therapy for torticolis (a neck issue). i'd never been to a PT before, so when i felt like a bad, bad, neglectful, bad mother with every visit i didn't know i had a choice. then i took him to someone at a better location - closer to the pediatrician's office - and she was AMAZING. really made me feel like she cared and would help my baby and me. SO, you do not ever have to see that guy again - someone can help you. i wish you luck!